Tag Archives: police

2nd night in Wellington police cells in New Zealand

Been avoiding writing this, don’t want to recall what happened it hurts too much, but I know I have to, then I won’t have to look at it again if I don’t want to – better out than in.

My arrest and night in Wellington police cells was going fine until the last three hours, then it all turned to shit because I was transported in a very cold NEW van into cold court cell, further delays and an arsehole guard looking after me.  People with stress disorders (in stressful situations) must be treated the same as people in shock, first thing you do is keep them warm, being cold adds to trauma/stress.  That is what should be on my court transfer papers not that I make vague threats of self-harm – WTF.  The design of that NEW transport staff were gloating about is absolute crap and harmful to those inside the boxes.

Start from the beginning

As I didn’t turn up for court on Monday, as I had been turned down by the OT for health services and still didn’t have a lawyer I knew there would be a warrant out for my arrest.  Chickened out doing a protest in Masterton so I would get arrested, too scared of police here.  Went over to Wellington chalking and then started on my mission.

Headed for Supreme Court to do some chalking about justice and how I completely blamed the judiciary for discrimination against mentally ill people and allowing government to criminalise and persecute them, deny them professional health care.  Then headed up to Treasury building and left a message for Treasury wankers – photos on my facebook page.  Held them to account for the appalling mental health stats as well – did a few swastikas and called them murderers as well – I know they hate it.  Then headed for Human Rights Commission, from which I am trespassed.

Nutted off at this old guy in reception and a group of people having a meeting about some bullshit.  I was in total fire breathing dragon mode, told them exactly what I thought of them and their responsibility for mental health crisis, suicide, NZ being No 1 for child suicide, self-harm in women and family violence.  Left before police arrived heading for my next target – didn’t make it 🙂

Have photos on my facebook page /jrmurphypoetmusician did a couple of videos of the chalking a few photos at the Human Rights Commission.  Its like lala land up there, those people are completely out of touch with reality and refusing to accept the seriousness of what has gone on in mental health due to an economic theory taking over from constitutional, health and justice rights.

Was arrested on Lambton Quay with my large naked torso painting a couple of cardboard signs and my big over shoulder satchel with chalk pens paper etc in it.  Was funny knowing they were coming, saw them to my left, I was heading towards Willis Street across from Midland Park.  They put on their lights, quickly did a u turn and jumped out of their car to aprehend me lol.  Told them to calm down I knew I was going to be arrested, that’s why I had come to Wellington – strange to them of course.  I was picked up on warrant for breach of bail for not attending court.  Not for nutting off at the dick head at the HRC and breaching a trespass order.  WAs prepared for it to happen though.

Tried to talk them out of handcuffs but couldn’t, managed to get them put on in front of me which is so much less oppressive/scary/vulnerable than behind your back.  She also did it really loosely on my right wrist cause told her I get arthritis in it.

Male officer told me handcuffs were for theirs and my safety – lol – brainwashed.  Not in my situation they’re not – its one thing I hope the UN can look at having a restriction on police using handcuffs, particularly in a public place.  They were OK, just following the book and treating me like any criminal who had a warrant out for their arrest.

Got back to the station and got processed, almost everybody was nice, were surprised to see me back.  The woman I had a run in with last time came and talked to me a few times, said she was pretty stressed with work etc last time I was there and sort of apologised, we made peace – that’s the main thing.

Didn’t sleep all night but was able to read a book, which I couldn’t last time because my stress levels were too high.  I can’t hold the story in my head when very stressed, even this time there were a few times I had to re-read paragraphs because I hadn’t absorbed what I just read.  Its a horrible part of Complex PTSD and a lot of people don’t understand it, can make you feel really stupid and like you going mad.  I worked out over years, it comes and goes depending on my stress levels.

I was OK with going through the police process I had gone over it in my head many times.  Had all the same guards as last time just in a different order, they were really cheerful and nice.  Told them I was in a much better state than last time and just wanted to get through the process and get things sorted out.  Last time I was self-harming and really distressed, this time I was really chilled out.

Had a guy come into the cells about 6pm who banged and yelled most of the night, then started up again in the morning – when I get stressed too, cause you don’t know what time is and all the guards disappear to organise transfers etc.  Handover is at around 7am.  So in the morning he sets off sprinkler in his cell and flooded something else by the sounds of it, lol, all the male prisoners were put in the female section – was weird seeing the guys – cause you never do.  They have it set up so people can’t see each other – I’m all good with that, few of them looked dodgy as.  They handcuffed him and put him in the Female Day cell that I can see from my special window/mental health cell.  Gave him the thumbs up for what he’d done, I was bored too.

As 11pm shift came on I asked if I could go in the bigger cell to prepare myself for going in the van in the morning, like I had spoken to Stuart about – when I made a comment about my first visit and how they could improve it.  He was a pommy guy with a bald head, manipulative power tripper.  So a group of them are outside my cell and he makes a comment about me being a Human Rights activist in a mocking tone then tells me he will think about the change of cell and tell me in the morning – he didn’t.  I worried about it all night, because had a bad feeling I would have a meltdown in the morning – which I did and are really horrible.  He purposely denied my request and kept me guessing to exert his authority and disempower me – and it would have had even more impact if I didn’t understand psychology of abusive power relationships.  so I’ll be making a complaint to police about it.  That is the sort of person who SHOULD NEVER BE in a position of power over others.

Got to have a shower at around 4.30am and had an early breakfast, 3 weetbix milk sugar & a milo.  Should have asked for something to take with me, didn’t realise how long it would be until I had food again – and I have diabetes issues if I don’t eat reguarly – especially having been up all night, when your body needs extra food.  I learnt that years ago, if you want to stay up all night at a party you have to keep eating throughout the night, its your body running out of fuel that makes you tired.

Reluctant to get in the van in the morning, they just turn up to take you, it freaks you out, I need to know what is going to happen to mentally prepare – fuck them!!!!

Van to Lower Hutt was really cold, 2 metal boxes in back of a van, 4 men sitting close together in one side and 2 women in the other.  First time I’ve had someone to talk to during transport, she was a regular visitor, knew the system well, but we avoided why we there.

We change to the NEW truck for trip over Rimutakas, it has about 10 metal boxes with individual windows – the staff were gloating that it belonged to Wairarapa and Hutt were jealous they didn’t have anything that flash.  Obviously they  have never spent any time in the back – I have got to get something done about the design or they going to have lots more people flipping out like me.

I refused to get in this van, he had to take my arm, but I did’nt resist past that, these metal boxes are only as big as your body and solid except for small windows.  Killer on your back, when you get jolted over bumps, there no padding its just a stainless steel bench about 1m square – FREEZING COLD AGAIN.  Not only cold thick metal there was a blast of cool air blowing down from directly above that you couldn’t get away from, it either went on top of your head or if you sat hard up against back it went onto your body and legs, which felt even colder.

Someone yelled out to guards to turn the fans off at about Upper Hutt, guards told him they were for ventilation, I chimed in that I wanted them off too, I was fkn freezing.

I got colder and colder – sooooo bad for my stress disorder – people under extreme stress are supposed to be kept warm.  Got angrier and angrier too.  When I got to Masterton refused to move – couldn’t move – I don’t know, but didn’t get out of van for about 5mins – they didn’t know what to do.  When I finally did because I thought they were going to get more physical two women were standing at end of truck.  I angrily asked WHAT ARE YOU – they were detectives, one of them said how she had heard about me in a nice enough voice –  I have got lots of supporters in the police – my response as I went past was a vicious GET FUCKED.  Was angry at the police for putting me through this shit, through all of this shit letting ACC manipulate them and refusing to investigate my complaints about them.

Was put in women’s holding cell at Masterton Court – it was fkn freezing as well, blasting cool air and a vent that went directly outside I could see through.  We had arrived about 10.30am from what I can gather, I wasn’t feeling very well coming over but was so fkn angry ignored it.  Got there was so cold put x2 on my ReFuSe tag I left two weeks ago.  They wouldn’t give me my shoes, eventually they gave me a museli bar at around 12pm – I had breakfast at 5am – they were told I had diabetes issues, it should be on my transfer notes I have to be offered food at regular intervals, they know the time I don’t – WTF.  Grrrr  That’s what those notes are fucking for – not a pile of disgusting offensive bigotry.

I sang Why Am I Arrested, Human Sewage and I wish I was dead with all loud drumming required on the walls – which went through the whole building I now know tehehehehe.  Some young people in other cells made comment about me ‘that protester’, also came to look at me through the window when one of them was wandering around.  Said something about me being Crazy – not me the crazy one dumarse – sometimes young people grrrrrrrr.

After singing revolting old white guy guard came to tell me I was embarrassing myself – trying to degrade me – oppressive and wanting to make me feel even more marginalised.  Again, lucky I know these sorts of tactics and can shake off most of their shit – but always a bit that sticks and makes you feel like shit.  Those are the comments that go on a loop in your head when you sink down into the well/darkness and consider all the good reasons you should kill youself.  I’m sure I’ll have to deal with that in the next few weeks – I’m sure there will be fallout from Thursday’s meltdown.

Then the arsehole said I was up next, ie first after lunch,  They called out 4 names before I STARTED LOOPING OUT – I was so distressed and so cold started losing it, started ticking by banging my whole body back against the door making a really loud noise, felt sooo good, calms me, its like a heartbeat and because its so violent on your whole body you can’t think of the anything else and it calms down the ‘panic attack’ you about to have – that happened later when outside.  Telling someone something is going to happen and then it not happening is another psychological torture method and what the guard in Wellington did.  An abuse and perversion of power – it is very common but should not be tolerated in people working in police etc. (Have found out since guards were pissed off with delays too, it was court staff who delayed my appearance – same court staff I gave shit to recently for not providing CCTV footage.)

Guard came along trying to get me to stop, turned the fan on full blast so I was even colder, turned the light on and off several times.  I was freaking out because of what had been happening and him lying to me, then he didn’t know what to do when I started freaking out more than he expected and the judge knows about it, cause the whole building can hear me.  If I’m causing that much fuss, then he has failed his job and EVERYBODY knows it.

I knew bus back to Carterton was at 1pm and it was 12, I got out at 1pm, with no time to walk to the bus stop 10 mins away.

My old public defence lawyer Susie turned up, which was a welcome sight as I was in full freak out mode pacing around the cell.  She spoke to the judge when i was up, told judge not-guilty and case now set down for 25 June.  They kept saying the police don’t oppose bail – because this is the third time I havn’t turned up for court and violated my bail conditions.  Of course police don’t oppose bail – that might be a bit much considering they put me here – they wouldn’t want to be reminded of what they have done grrrrrrr.  Police prosecutor in court looked ashamed, wouldn’t look at me.

After Susie spoke I made sure I had my say, without following any rules – except trying not to swear, it was pretty obvious I was really pissed off and really freaked out.  Not many people get to address the judge like I do but there was NO WAY I was leaving that courtroom without her knowing about Geneva Healthcare refusing me OT services and still not having a lawyer – which Susie told her anyway.  It was Judge Morris, I Know her and she knows my situation quite well, was still all I could do not to swear at her for allowing this to go on for years.  Like I said, I have never hurt anyone, they hurt me.

I reakon they left me until last so there weren’t many people in the gallery, they don’t like the public seeing me go through the system because I have no respect for the judge or the process and give them shit – using their own laws.  Quoted Magna Carta several times and reminded her I said two weeks ago when I saw here I wasn’t voluntarily participating in teh justice process until I had health care I need and lawyer I need.

They know at court making me wait stresses me out – they’ve accommodated this aspect of my disability before – why not now, when I’m in an even more stressful situation do they now ignore it?  They could have changed the order, they knew I was going to arrive the night before. grrrr, will be bringing this all up in my complaints to police AGAIN – that they will never listen to but I have to do because nobody else does grrrrrrrrr.

Told court staff to go get my painting and bag etc because I would not be going to the police station to pick them up like last time – I don’t want to see those motherfuckers at the moment – especially that dark headed bitch on reception.

Waited in the bail room, at least slightly warmer, but I was chilled to the bone.  NEK MINIT started crying uncontrollably, that heartbroken cry where you can’t even close your mouth and you dribble onto the ground in front of you as you sit there rocking, wailing, in such emotional pain.  Your heart smashed to pieces by what you are being put through for asking for health care and justice you entitled to, for throwing paint on a white ribbon banner after being assaulted and threatened by police  – plus knowing just how cruel and corrupt your government and so many others are.

Was let out, almost ran out of the court, got outside took two steps, stood there shaking, thinking – I had missed the bus, I was now extremely upset and would have to go to the park, find something sharp and spend the next few hours self-harming until next bus to Carterton.  Didn’t have anyone I could call to pick me up.

I became completely overwhelmed, my arms gave way & I dropped my paintings signs & bag just as my legs gave way from under me and I ended up on the footpath curled up in a ball on my side.  I managed to sit up and started rocking and wailing/crying loudly – in a way that would make my broken heart feel some sort of relief from what had just happened to me.  I wasn’t there long and a woman came along and one of the guards from court came out.  They were both very nice, the woman was from Te Hauora, I been screwed over by them several times, so I was scared of her, but when she offered me a ride home I had to ignore that and say yes – I had to get home – my homing beacon was on full strength and causes me huge stress if I don’t listen to it.  I wanted to be where nobody could see me melting down, it is so humiliating when it happens – it has only been this bad four other times in 15 years.

I couldn’t keep my mouth shut with the woman, I tried, I didn’t want to tell her anything, but all my biggest fears and worries were just tumbling out of my mouth, just like the anger does when I go ‘tourettes’.  I kept saying sorry, it was OK, it didn’t matter, I just wanted to go home etc.  She asked all the usual questions about a doctor etc, told her I don’t have a doctor and why – that I havnt’ seen one for over 2 years (1 for WINZ form last year doesn’t count).  Think she was pretty horrified at how unwell and unsupported I was, told her a little about not trusting Te Hauora.  I didn’t’ have any bread or milk at home, was crying about how poor I was and how tired I was of being poor and there of course was not point in living in this shit hole country. etc etc.  She gave me $20 I refused – I HATE CHARITY – she demanded I take it, I HATE PEOPLE WHO DEMAND I TAKE CHARITY, and from an organisation that has ensured I was taken advantage of and traumatised by a flatmate under their care, denied me care themselves and let me down when I was really unwell.  A friend in the community who worked for Te Hauora for a short time told me what they thought of me, that lots of people had tried to help me, I just didn’t want help.  FUCKING SCUMBAG FUCKING LYING PIECES OF FUCKING GARBAGE.  Same people I have made complaints about that were covered up and not dealt with you mean.  They a big part of the bigoted rumour mill round here.

I’m sure the only reason I had that horrendous meltdown is the cold, it was like being tortured.  It has left me feeling tearful and very very fragile, I don’t want to go out anywhere –  I can’t anyway I”m so broke.  I’m hoping I don’t get a backlash in a few days, sometimes that can happen and I get highly suicidal and all the oppressive degrading things staff did/said will come back to haunt me.

At least Susie and even Judge Morris acknowleged that I had been punished and suffered in custody – which is why of course I wasn’t prosecuted for breaching bail ($2,000 fine & 1 yr in prison is what they threaten on bail form for violations).  Given I had sent them an email Thursday last week saying I was both mentally incapable due to my disorder and refused to attend, asking them not to make me into a criminal – they did anyway.

One thing pissed me off about Te Hauora lady, she spent at least 5mins telling me to take medication for my anxiety – WTF.  Terrorised women are being put on medications to deal with teh inhuman and unsafe living situations they are being forced to endure by the government.  Its sick, deeply deeply disturbing, immoral, unethical, unprofessional and ILLEGAL.  I also explained I was a rescuer and helped lost souls pass over to the light, I was told by spirit not to take medication or it would affect my ability to protect myself spiritually.  She didn’t say anything after that – Maori understand spirituality a lot better than Pakeha thank God.  They have a lot more respect for spiritual people as well – most Pakeha ridicule us – sad considering our entire legal system is based on christian principles of fairness justice and us being all the same before God irrelevant of our wealth and status on earth.

I’m having a chill out day today, my daughter is taking me out for brunch for mother’s day which will be nice.  Will try and stay in the present and not feel bad about the fact I can’t afford to take myself out for brunch or anybody else.  I will barely be able to afford to buy my daughter a present, its her birthday soon – my life would have been so different if I had health care and help I needed to return to work after I was raped.  Fkn scumbag government, fkn terrorist murderers 🙁

My back is hurting, so trying to not do anything more to strain that after the trip over Rimutakas in truck, feels like a lower disc wants to move and I know what that means – not being able to sit down at all, only being able to walk around slowly or lay down and in agony for days.  Its happened before.  Obviously justice transport not designed for older people with aches pains & injuries.

People ask me why do I do this to myself, I can assure you it is actually helping me, it is very hard being really unwell at home on my own, its far more stressful than protesting and getting arrested.  I get food I don’t have to pay for, hot drinks, to talk to interesting different people who understand more about failings of mental health system than anybody else – police.

Some police are OK & actually respect what I am trying to do with my mental health advocacy work –  trying to get a better journey through teh system for people who have traumatic stress disorders.  I can assure everybody I DO NOT TRUST THE POLICE and nobody reading this should either – their are some real nasty pieces of work amongst them & most/all of the others will cover it up.  As nice as some are there are others who are fkn aresholes and they all sit back and allow shit to happen. Wouldn’t even be surprised if the cold transport was for my benefit – I would assume the new truck would have had heating.  Police trying all those psychological torture tactics perhaps – when constable French said you’ll see how bad police can be, is this what he meant?

 

Strongest impressions of my time in custody in New Zealand

Firstly, be nice if they nice to you, try not to let all the BS questions upset you.

Check out my youtube channel for the vlog I made at the Health and Disability Commission.  JR Murphy Poet.

I knew police take about 15-20 mins to get to a job around Wellington, so know when the lift opens its going to be them.  Three this time, two men and a woman, who surrounded me immediately, you have to get used to that – lot of abuse victims don’t like people behind them – me included.  One of them was a newbie who took my details, read me my rights etc.

One asked for me to put my hands behind my back but as I HATE handcuffs and last time I had them on they hurt A LOT (it was after the assault) I didn’t want to.  As soon as I ignored their instructions they got aggitated, I chilled the situation when I started joking about it.  I wasn’t ignoring their directions, I didn’t like handcuffs, they hurt and I was trying to talk my way out of having to put them on.  Sadly it didn’t work, its so much more comfortable and less oppressive when you don’t have them on.  Joked about being able to carry my own stuff out if I didn’t have them on – didn’t work.  He wouldn’t put them on in front of me either which is easier and a less vulnerable position.  He did put them on loosely, made me realise how tight the last lot were.  my hands were blue by the time I got them off and I had bruises for two weeks.

I was arrested on the warrant for not turning up to court, not for doing the protest at HDC even though I swore like a trooper.  I was trespassed and given the notice while I was being processed.  I was also questioned about chalking on the Tribunals building, which I admitted to.  If you knew at protesting don’t say too much when you arrested, I know my rights pretty well and know what to say and what not to say so I talk quite a bit.  If you are an activist keep to your rights and information you know about why you are taking the action you are.  Quote laws.

Organise to speak to a lawyer, but best to have a lawyer who knows consitutional law already oranised to arrange your release.  It is very seldom a judge will keep an activist in the cells overnight, I was picked up on a warrant – or if I had broken my bail conditions – I would have had to stay if I couldn’t get to see the judge.  A police officer told me few years ago to get arrested before 9am in the morning on a sitting day and I wouldn’t have to stay the night.

I am trying to get something organised where as a recognised disabled Civil Society Actor I can’t be held overnight because of my disorder.  United Nations treaties say NZ govt are not allowed to use the process in a punitive way against a CSA- which is what the justice system is being used for.  It is disproportionately cruel to make me stay incarcerated with my stress disorder issues compared with other people.  I am not a threat to anybody and I can be picked up by local police before court when I am set to appear.  (My issue about can’t appear is I can’t make myself drive to court, to get around this police have to pick me up, which I can do – weird I know but its a bizarre and terrifying disorder so you get creative.

They sent two police cars, there is always one of the officers who knows me, lead out in handcuffs and put in the car, you wonder what people are thinking – you wish you could explain to people what was happening and why.

Arrived at cells, newbie was asking me lots of questions, but I started to get upset and cry as my post bollocking melt-down started to kick in.  The woman processing me was a rigid bitch who I didn’t take to at all, usually those people are nice, but not this one, was an older woman.  Argued with her when I was told I would be staying the night as court wasn’t taking any more prisoners today.  Demanded to speak to a lawyer but that was a disaster.

The lawyer Val, a man, to start he couldn’t hear me and hung up (the accoustics in teh concrete box were really bad), they got him back on the phone and he said something to the effect to phone some woman – I don’t remember name – and she was more sympathetic to women in my situation. WTF sexist pig.  They were supposed to phone another lawyer but the small room overwhelmed me and I became claustrophobic and started banging on the door to be let out.  The officers said, don’t you want a lawyer and I just laughed at them, pointing out they knew very well I couldn’t stay in that room because of my mental health and as there was no other options then I got no lawyer.  I’d suck it up if I had to stay, I had no choice I couldn’t go back in that room, not that day – in fact not ever.

They take your shoes jewellery, everything out of your pockets and put them in plastic bags (which I keeping for an art project) – they also had my painting and two signs and my bag of protest stuff, visual diary, laws, pens etc.  I got put into a cell I have been in several times before, in the women’s section – officer told me there 38 mens cells and 9 womens – so when the revolution arrives we only need to get 50 people arrested and Wellington police are overwhelmed.  They can fit about 30 in the day rooms – anyway its not many. 🙂 dreams are free.

By the time they let me out of the concrete box I was freaking out and getting worse, head down ticking, shaking, hyperventilating, on verge of panic attack, but not knowing about to take the violence I was feeling out on myself.  Got back to the cell and started pacing, shaking, ticking, trying to keep a panic attack under control.  Nothing would work, so sat on bed and started banging my head and back against the concrete wall, it is the only thing that will calm me when I’m that traumatised.  Then I started wanting to hurt myself, with slapping beats on my legs and the mattress, beating myself about the head, thumping my thighs with fists as hard as I possibly could.  When its happening its a release valve, its not nice and is distressing for people watching.  Its torment on full blast, but it releases pressure, its me turning the psychological violence I have just endured into physical violence.  I have very little control over if it starts happen, my body is rigid.  It takes every bit of concentration to not completely flip out and start trashing the cell and really harming yourself by punching walls etc – because that’s what you want to do.  I picture every bone in both my hands smashed.

When I start punching my head its because I want the torment to stop, the hurt the extreme hurt about not getting health care I should be and being dragged through court and justice processes so unfairly.  Of being isolated and lied about, discriminated against and persecuted just so a bunch of neo-liberal rich pigs can have lots more money and poor people have less.  So they can make money out of people they deny mental health care to and safe homes.

I’m going to be requesting a copy of the CCTV footage from when I arrived until about 6pm when I finally calmed down.  Once the horrible police guard left at 3pm and next lot took over things got better.  Although I was told I had been a problem earlier, a problem mmmmm.  Best to be nice and make jokes when you first meet them, they’re usually nice and introduce themselves.  I play a game of trying to work out what the time is and I’m usually right – its one of the weird and not nice things about being in cells, you don’t know the time, even if it light or dark outside.  The dungeon they call Wellington police cells which is sub-ground and best earthquake strengthening possible I am told.

Dinner was 2 min noodles – which I refused – I eat too many of them already and butter chicken with rice over microwaved but ok.  There were 3 women there most of the night, one beside me was being checked every 20 mins.  Was given milo and tea over the night, when I couldn’t sleep.  All but two of the police were really nice, respectful and professional.

We got offered a shower at about 7pm which was really nice, you have to do it in front of guard but she way down end of corridor.  An image when I got to the showers has stayed with me – that I want to do an artwork about.  When I got to the showers there were five small soaps in one side and none in the other.  I asked the guard why, she said how people preferred the one that was slightly behind the wall and more private.  Just shows you how modest women are – not like what media portray (I have a theory this is one of the reasons young women drink so much to get confidence to wear things they not comfortable in).

  • Would be an amazing experience for every MP in parliament to be processed through the police and courts, kept in the cells overnight and experience the concrete phone box, showers, restrictions, small spaces, boredom, handcuffs etc.  The waiting rooms, the endless questions, the stripping of your identity, belts and shoes, the transport vehicles, the metal boxes, the other prisoners, the police and guards – mmmm I can feel a poem coming on – maybe a rap song.  Imagine Crusher Collins locked in the concerete phone box unable to get a lawyer and having to bang and yell to get out.  Or Jerry, lol, with his size, what a mission, getting in and out of cars and transport vehicles – I actually don’t think he would fit in the latest transport vehicle I was in.  He wouldn’t have handled the small dinner either and no snacks.

My back started getting really sore and I had to move around most of the night because of it.  Sitting on a low bench/bed was hurting it.  So changed to lying on my tummy, walking around, doing exercises etc.  The pillows are really bad so I got an extra blanket, was OK.  Wish I could have had a scrubbing brush and bucket of hot soapy water for a couple of hours to clean the cell.  Was still hair and stuff from previous occupants, it was Tuesday night, I’m not sure how many days worth – I thought that was a big tacky.  Showers weren’t cleaned every day either and water pooled on floor outside them, looked pretty yuk – at least a few days old – thats unhygenic.

Boredom is the most difficult thing when you have really bad mental health, because you brain always wants to obsess about being locked up, the injustices etc.  So I do things, like sing, good pracitice for remembering my songs, recite poetry and do drum rhythms on my legs, walls, doors, matress etc.  I also rip up paper hand towels and toilet paper – which I then keep and make into an artwork (which I’m doing later today).

I rip up poly cups you get your cuppa tea/water in, I do origami and make water bombs and Which Number Do You Choose game.

The mornings are the most difficult, hard to know the time and things stirring, you getting prepared to go into the metal box in the paddy wagon and not wanting to.  Past two times I spent night in cells I had massive melt-downs in the morning and I could feel another one coming on.  I told my guard what was happening and could I walk around the female day room and have my breakfast until I had to go, just to give me a bit more space from the cell I was in and before I had to go into something much smaller.  He seemed OK with it but said he would have to talk to his Sgt, he never came back and I had that melt-down and it was horrible.

Went on for ages, though it is hard to know when you in that state, rocking, fingers in ears, crying, self-harming, tormented and completely distraught.  I remember starting to babble about being allowed to go to the day room over and over again.  That’s when Sgt I didn’t like came around with breakfast and asked me if I wanted any, in amongst the babbling I said yes.  He asked again and I said yes, he left and went to the next cell.  I wanted breakfast I wasn’t feeling good, I told them I had early stages of diabetes when I arrived.  Want to get the CCTV footage of not getting breakfast as well.

The guards from the previous night and overnight had been trying to help me with my issue about getting into small spaces in the transport vehicles.  They tried to have my case transferred to Wellington, but apparently you have to go where warrant was issued, which was Masterton for me.  There were several other people being transported over to Masterton, obviously a bad bunch over here.

They did offer to get me the CATT team which I refused, what’s the point, I just been turned down by mental health and what would they do.  I would just start swearing at them, I go tourettes when they come anywhere near me, I’m terrified of them.  When they suggested it all I could envisage was me spitting at them and being done for assault.  When I thought about it I could have used the 6hour rule to not have to stay incarcerated in police cells but would probably have had to go into care of mental health AND THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM EVER GOING TO DO THAT VOLUNTARILY – NOT EVER.  At least I know what police are capable of and inmates are locked up so can’t harm you.

One part of it I was whimpering and crying, a woman in another cell was being really lovely and telling me it would be OK and not to worry.  She did this for about 20 mins, its amazing how people come together in these situations – I’ve seen it before, especially with people who are upset.  I’ve also seen upset people be verbally attacked by other prisoners and told to kill themselves cause they were losers.  (same sort of people in police)

Then two new guards appeared at my door telling me it was time to leave, knowing I had been having a melt-down for over an hour.  They tried to be nice and commented on my origami, were impressed they were water bombs I had made.  I had to tell them I couldn’t walk and to give me 5mins after my melt-down, they weren’t too bad, only young.

Had a right audience putting me in the first transport van, was getting flashbacks of the last time, couple of years before and it wasn’t good.  Tried to be brave but got to the door and stopped, I Knew there was no choice and all those people behind me woud make me get in there but I still told them how I felt and that I didn’t want to.  One of them commented on me not wanting to go to court, I threw back some insult that shut him up.

Got in the box and focused on my breathing and avoiding teh claustraphobic feelings.  Looked out the back window.  Started hyperventilating and banging my head against the box to calm down.  Prisoner being bit of an arsehole – one of those who hones in on suicidal and traumatised vulnerable people – someone who attacks the weak rather than protects them.  Guards driving teh van suggested one of the guys sing to me to make me feel better.  It does distress some people when they see me in that state – that’s what many of them have encountered when rescuing abused women, except it is the justice system setting off my traumatic behaviour.

I immediately snapped out of what I was doing to keep from freaking out and said I can sing and started singing Why Am I Arrested, with drumming, the prisoner didn’t like it too much but I ignored him.  Then I did Human Sewage and Wish I was Dead with loud emphasis on SHOT by slapping both hands on the metal wall in front of me.  That was as we drove down the Wellington motor way out to the Hutt Valley, I was in full voice, loud as I sing it at home with just as much feeling.  YOu could hear every word.  Everybody shut up after that.

We arrived at Lower Hutt court to swap prisoners & I felt a bit better after singing and joked with those unloading me that last time I was here I chalked Judge PJ Butler on the building and a big swastika.  They knew about the incident and now they had met who did it.  I had been put in last and let out first which I was EXTREMELY GRATEFUL FOR – it was one small thing I had talked to my guard about that they did.

They lied to get me in the van to Lower Hutt because they said the next transport was bigger and really it was much much smaller.

You have to bang on the door repeatedly to get any attention which is annoying, made sure I went to the toilet when I could because I know how incontinent I can get with my bladder/kidney issues if I need to go.  The toilet at Lower Hutt court is amazing, shame they don’t give you pens to contribute to the mural of graffiti all over the natural plywood walls.  I so wanted to do a poem in that room – will have to do something to get back in that room and do one.  Maybe another chalk mission, the walls of that building are like a giant blackboard.  I could come up with some cartoon images and words.

So we were put back in the new – state of the art apparently – transport van/truck.  As we were walking out one of the guards started giving me shit about being in custody and being arrested (which I had organised myself when I did the protest).  Lecturing me, I gave him a right mouthful, told him he wasn’t my fucking father and I was there because two policemen assaulted me, lied about it in court and got away with it and I had thrown red paint over white ribbon banner as a result.  He scoffed to others listening how it was only an alleged assault- there were about 6 guards police around during the change over.  I just said YEAH RIGHT of course it was pig and a few other nasty comments.  Which others listening seemed surprised about.  Said something to the effect how I suppose we would get a shit drive over the hill now after what I said, but we didn’t.

The put me in van and of course the enclosure/metal box was even smaller, only the size of a person sitting down – no way Jerry Browlee would fit.  You had a window, which I just focused on most of the time – the view.  There was a camera up in front of you, you weren’t in handcuffs or anything.  Anybody would think you were a terrorist and your comrades were preparing to break you out – the security was EXTREME.  The plug on the bottom of the metal box made me feel sick, you wonder what sort of fluids went down there.  Anybody with really bad claustraphobia would be completely fkd in that metal box.

The imagines outside the window were cool, such a familiar trip for me but not in a police paddy wagon with bunch of other criminals.  Going through Greytown you could see the van/truck clearly in the windows and Carterton where my graffiti from the morning before was still up.  Would be great idea for a music video for some of my songs.  Make the paddy wagon like a tardis inside with me and a band performing, while outside the world watches us go past in a reflection.  We’re a statistic that people who create this neo-liberal nightmare make sure the masses don’t see.

Got taken out at Masterton and taken through to court waiting room where I tagged ReFuSe on teh wall using my finger and rubbing it over someone who had used a pencil to tag.  Some of the shit on the walls was real bitchy violent hate stuff, typical Masterton and a big pencil tag MSTN can’t be trusted – I completely agree.

It was cold, I didn’t have my coat or my shoes, only my socks, I was feeling yuk and needed something to eat.  The guard I had called a pig was still with me and I had to ask him to get me something to eat as I felt sick and had no breakfast in Wellington.  When we got out the guy in metal box beside me was looking back at me, obviously to see who had been making all the noise – pretty sure he was in the van from Wellington as well.

Guard came in and said I had to see Forensic Nurse while I was there – I refused.  Now I realise police wanted that to prove they hadn’t been the ones who inflicted the bruising to my face.  I had not mentioned the bruising even though I knew it was there.  Several people I have seen since have mentioned it and immediately thought it was police, I’m happy to tell them it was me and was THE SYSTEM that drives me to self-harm, not the actual police around me.

Guard came in and said I had to see lawyer – I refused that as well, no point.  This was only another court date until I actually get a PROPERLY TRAINED CONSTITUTIONAL LAWYER.  Judge was a crusty old guy and you don’t fk with them too much, told him my magna carta rights were violated and I didn’t have to follow the law, told him my mental health was too bad and I couldn’t make myself attend court.  Told him until my health care was reinstated and I got constitutional lawyer I needed I wouldn’t be participating.  He pretended to ignore most of what I was saying.  A lawyer in the room volunteered that another lawyer had just rejected me as a client so LEgal Services Agency were trying to find another before 7 May.  So is Wellington Community Law Centre and Ann Rice at the Law Society.  I don’t believe they exist – its just a sick joke they tell people about justice that they don’t actually do.

Given same bail conditions then waiting in bail room told I have to go back to Masterton police station to pick up my belongings and shoes.   That judge said I am not allowed within 1 metre of unless it is an emergency.  I pointed that out to the court staff – who are always nice to me (most of them) so they phoned police station to get it organised.  I don’t trust Masterton police not to have me prosecuted for picking up my stuff.

Walked out of bail room had to go past security, getting a few flashbacks to melt-down I had there couple of months ago, but nothing I couldn’t handle.  Waved and smiled at the security guard I had yelled at and he smiled back – so that’s all sorted thankfully.  Will make it easier to go in teh building next time.

Lucky it wasn’t raining recently and I could walk around to police station in my socks.  Took my time getting sorted in foyer, getting shoes on, took a photo of where white ribbon banner USED TO BE, tehehehehe.  Although I was sitting in that police station after spending the night in cells, it was actually a WIN FOR ME not for them.  Every time this case goes to court it will be explained I threw paint on that banner because of injustice about police assault, threats and cover up.  Everybody who here’s my story thinks I am completely justified, including me.  I did perform an act of wilful damage but there was no injustice in my actions – so I can’t be prosecuted and punished.

A friend was in Masterton and was able to give me a ride home – back to my car I had left at Carterton Railway station the day before.  All the train guards will know I spent a night in the cells, its really cool how they follow what I do.  If I had seen judge in Wellington I wouldn’t have got a free ride home – that saved me $17.

Another successful guerrilla protest mission as the days go on only those things that left an impression are with me and things are fading, which is why I wanted to write it all down.  Hopefully too it will help/validate other people with stress disorders who have anything to do with the justice system and police.  Give them some ideas on how to deal with situations so they dont’ get too out of hand.

Lastly, when I got home I noticed a form attached to my things  –  Instructions for escorts to and from court.  The comment on me being suicidal was absolutely disgusting, full of lies and was just degrading me because of my suidical ideation, calling them vague threats of suicide.  After police had been so nice to read this was disturbing – who had written it, why would they write such a pile of BS that didn’t help guards whatsoever, in fact it made them more bigoted and easier able to discredit me.  I will be making a complaint about this form and some of the other things that happened and I also can’t praise some police staff highly enough for accommodating impairments related to my disorder/disability and making my stay in custody as easy as it could be for someone like me.

For activists, when you do finally get around friends you can talk to, spend a few hours debriefing and telling them about your experiences.  Have a long hot shower to wash away all the bad shit.  As soon as you can write a diary note about everything that happened, sign it, date it and you’ve already told someone about it.  This is important evidence if anything happens in future to address discrimination and problems that arose – like the revolting comment on transport documents – or not getting access to room prior to being moved and not getting breakfast.

When I got home, as I have said before on my website i got the news that all my ACC care is going to be reinstated after waiting eight years.  It seems surreal and I know once I get this care I won’t be having the melt-downs, self-harming and extreme torment I go through now in teh court system.  Wait until they see jayne in action and full strength – then I’ll kick some legal arse.

 

 

 

Psychological abuse – GASLIGHTING – by Wairarapa police New Zealand

9 February 2018

 

Peter Jackson &

David Rutherford

Human Rights Commission

PO Box 12411

Thorndon

WELLINGTON

 

(NOTE: this letter was also emailed to Secretary for Justice Andrew Bridgman, Jacinda Ardern PM, Andrew Little Minister for Justice, Stuart Nash Minister for Police, Kieran McNaulty MP, Ron Mark MP, Jan Logie, Mojo Mathes, Carterton Mayor John Booth & Lynn Patterson Masterton Mayor, Wairarapa Times Age and Wairarapa News)

Dear Sirs

This letter is to multiple people, not just those on the address above, I can only write this once. I beg for help so often and am completely discredited, degraded & criminally neglected for telling the truth about what is happening to me (and many other people I am sure).

I refer to the letter 12013 and the absolutely insulting patronising response about Disabled people purposely left to rot on welfare because of gross miscarriage of justice currently perpetrated by our cruel immoral and corruption neo-liberal controlled government and justice agencies. The three arms of government all being grossly corrupted by this economic movement now being called a terrorist religion.

You are talking about improving employment outcomes for disabled people like myself, when I am being illegally denied professional treatment care rehabilitation and a safe home to live in by ACC. If I received the assistance I am entitled to I would be able to return to work.  Along with being terrorised by police and others for asking for the health care and justice I know I am entitled to under law – especially Human Rights laws that you are supposed to uphold.

The treatment of disabled people being denied the right to work has nothing to do with societal attitudes it is purely economic and relates to the attitude of our corrupt immoral cruel leaders – it is nothing to do with society – they don’t even know what is going on. They teach discrimination of less than 100% productive workers at university – any person who does an economics paper as part of their degree will be taught to get the maximum productivity out of staff. The ideas of running an advertising campaign to ‘brainwash’ (which is illegal under Bill of Rights & Human Rights) society to be nice to disabled people is deeply flawed & deeply disturbing.

The discrimination I face almost daily for not working has been ingrained in people for 30 years since neo-liberals drove jobs overseas & impoverished 100,000s New Zealanders purposely – then blamed them for their situation – especially disabled people. I face this discrimination, not only in my community but mostly from mental health services, politicians, police, lawyers, justice services and your organisation. You know that because you know who I am and why I protest against you – why I put up pieces of art with swastika’s on in your office – because you are leading the persecution of disabled people by refusing to protect them and uphold the law.

Currently I am being terrorised by police yet again for my LEGAL and completely justified protests about not receiving the PROFESSIONAL mental health care I am entitled to from ACC (after winning two reviews in 2010 & 2011). ACC review decisions are legally binding, it is illegal to not reinstate my care from 2009 and yet they do it and use impairments related to my disorder to continue the psychological abuse. They do this and I beg you to help and protect me from this gross violation of my rights and you do absolutely nothing – you bring out propaganda saying they should treat me better.

Police violently assault me and threaten me with worse violence if I continue to protest – I am assuming worse violence means what happened to Louise Nicholas and I know for a fact includes psychological abuse using the justice system. I stopped sending you my complaints of serious violations of my rights, which puts my life at risk on a regular basis – you have done absolutely nothing to help me – in fact you participate in using police to terrorise me further – as does the Ombudsman.

Today I sit here writing this terrified at what lengths, neo-liberal elements in police are prepared to go to in order to drive me to suicide, self-harm and more.

I don’t know how to begin because of the extremely life-threatening disorder I now have after years of medical & criminal neglect I have COMPOUNDING Complex PTSD. So bringing up all the traumas causes me significant suffering and torment, makes me highly suicidal and there is nowhere I can turn for help. I was denied professional health care in December after an assessment by a CCDHB psychologist and psychiatrist. I was dumped onto a social worker who caused me significant harm after only a few weeks because he had no concept of seriousness of my impairments (even though I told him).

I currently have no doctor, I am in constant physical pain with my kidneys, hips & ankle, I have another skin cancer but I won’t be able to have this one addressed because I am too terrified to interact with health providers now, after years of discrimination. The very people who supposed to help me are instrumental in discriminating against and persecuting me.

PLEASE NOTE: I am in intelligent person and writer I have an Oxford Dictionary I bought when studying law at Victoria immediately prior to the rape, I know the meaning of persecution and I am using it correctly in this instance. I DO NOT HAVE A MENTAL HEALTH ISSUE that involves paranoia and delusions of persecution, which is how I am treated by your agency and every other I beg for health care and justice from.

So 2 years ago I attempted to attend the court case by Tony Ellis of 3 mentally ill men for torture. I had already tried to take a case of torture myself against ACC and failed at court – I have proof of this. I had already begged your office and attorney-general to allow me to take a case and you both refused to acknowledge what was happening to me. I have been unable to get a lawyer to protect me and my rights in 15 years. I have a letter from my previous criminal lawyer that advises I have serious unmet legal needs. I can provide that if required – as I know you don’t believe anything I say.

Before attending the Tony Ellis trial I phoned High Court security and told them I would be protesting outside and attending court but would not be doing anything but watching – so I could learn how Mr Ellis presented the case so I could do one myself – as I couldn’t get a lawyer, was desperate to return to work and didn’t want to die of my disorder (which is highly dangerous according to all international evidence).

As I went into the court I was confronted by security and told I was not allowed to go, I became very upset as I had done everything required of me, I needed to know this information or I couldn’t get justice I desperately needed. I continued to walk into the court and was violently assaulted by security, I was crying and deeply upset. I had never been assaulted by security before in all my years of being arrested and protesting – I have video footage of some of what happened. When police arrived I was curled up in a ball on the floor against the wall, with a sign in front of me, distraught and traumatised, I have photos of the sign & me looking up at 6 men towering over me. Police arrested me and were very nice, I never resist arrest. I made a formal complaint of assault against High Court security, a complaint that was handled by Sgt Q Hoera, he interviewed me but did nothing about what happened. Even though I know the law, I know what security are allowed to do and they overstepped their authority and the law.

Around this time I was extremely unwell, still begging ACC to reinstate my care from 2009, still being ignored and impairments related to my disability being used against me. I had made multiple complaints to police under Sections 150A 151 155 157 of the Crimes Act, but was ignored. I was phoning ACC remote claims unit – which I had been dumped on because I was angry at being denied professional health care I am legally entitled to after winning 2 reviews – in an extremely unwell and psychotic state screaming at them to return my care.

When I asked for a copy of the recorded phone calls on their answerphone (remote claims NEVER answer the phone it is only an answerphone) under the Privacy Act I was told they did not keep copies of them and my request was denied. Around six weeks later police came to my home and told me they were going to charge me with misuse of a telephone for making the calls, I was overwhelmed with grief and distraught at this gross injustice.   I spent 3 months being dragged through court only to have charges dropped at the last minute.  ACC could only do this by providing a record of the answerphone messages.

Six weeks after the charges were dropped I had police come to my home again (I am terrified of police at my home after years of visits, many of which were extremely traumatising – I have nightmares about police coming to my home now). They told me they were charging me with misuse of a telephone yet again, for phoning ACC really unwell and screaming for help. I was horrified, I have serious RECOGNISED BY A PSYCHIATRIST communication issues when triggered and I couldn’t communicate with police at the time.

I composed myself and went to Carterton police station to find out what was going on -why where they doing this to me again? I was met with insults, degradation and appalling discrimination by the two officers Sgt Q Hoera and Constable Alan French. For 10 mins I was treated like this, trying to defend myself and tell them they were wrong, mental health and ACC were liars I was begging for care – they were saying lots of people had tried to help me and I didn’t want it – that is not true.

I became so angry, I didn’t swear (go tourettes) like I can do (which is a recognised impairment related to my disability) I went back to my car, got out a chalk pen, went back to the police station and drew a swastika & words corrupt on the window in front of them. That was to represent the appalling violation of my human rights – human rights I had as a result of the United Nations recognising how the NAZIs rose to power and putting laws in place to stop this happening again.

I was violently assaulted by these two officers – for my NON-VIOLENT PROTEST. I was subjected to hours of insults and discrimination, when I tried to defend myself verbally they became more abusive and threatened I WOULD SEE HOW BAD POLICE COULD BE IF I KEPT IT UP.   Threats I take extremely seriously considering what happened to Louise Nicholas for many years. I have also realised police are using psychological abuse – which is referred to as Gaslighting – to intimidate and drive my suicidal behaviour even more – they want me to commit suicide.

I want to be sick and tears are rolling down my face as I write this, I will have to self-harm to cope once it is finished.

After I was released I went home to NO SUPPORT and couldn’t tell friends and family either I was so traumatised. I emailed Mike Sutton of Masterton police and told him what had happened, I made a formal complaint to him and the IPCA, I was ignored. A few days later I woke up very very unwell and highly suicidal, covered in bruises, I went to local hospital A & E. When I got there I was very distraught the nurse asked me who had hurt me, I didn’t want to tell her, she had been nice up to that point. Once I said it was police her entire demeanour changed, she left me alone – which was extremely inappropriate in the circumstances. She then put me in another cubicle, left me on my own so terrorised I was rocking backwards and forwards on the bed. By the time a doctor came to see me I was curled up in a ball in the corner of the room rocking, banging my back against the wall to try and calm myself.

The doctor was very nice, he seemed to understand where the nurse was horrible. They recorded the bruising on my hands, my arm and down left side of my leg. I left and went home to no support.

That medical account was given as evidence during the court case for graffiti and wilful trespass I was being charged under – that the violent assault by police was being decided under.  Q Hoera and Alan French told the judge I was pushed up against the wall, when I was thrown onto the ground, which is why I had bruises on side of my left leg.

Nobody told me until the case went to court almost 18 months since the protests and assault that it would be dealt with during court proceedings for my protesting – about police being used by ACC to charge me with misuse of a telephone for screaming for help I am entitled to and desperately needed. I had received the CCTV footage of me being processed by police after the assault – it proves what they had done to me – it was never used in court. Neither was extensive other evidence as to why I was protesting. My lawyer at the time was a public defender with no experience in human rights, bill of rights or what was happening to me.

The lawyer demanded I take out my statement about what was happening to me.

I was acquitted of several other charges for protesting (as I have been multiple times before) but was charged with graffiti for the chalk pen swastika. The judge also made a judgement about the assault saying the officers were justified and not believing anything about the threats or the extent of violence – which I know was illegal. I have been arrested many times, police in Wellington HAVE NEVER treated me so violently. There is a culture of police violence against women in Wairarapa that is not being addressed and is getting worse – I have spoken to several other people now who have witnessed or experienced unnecessary violence towards women here.

I was extremely upset about yet another gross violation of my rights and justice. I became even more unwell and a series of events related to my currently UNSAFE UNSTABLE living situation caused me even further distress (these included a terrifying situation with a mentally ill man on a bracelet in community who had just got out of prison and wanted to live with me because I desperately needed a flatmate.) Which is another story and violation of my human and disability rights that you are currently ignoring.

To cope with what police had done, as I was becoming even more unwell, if that is possible – I went to Masterton police station two weeks ago (30 Jan) and threw red paint over the large white ribbon banner in the foyer. I left, chalked a swastika on the building then headed for Lower Hutt court where I chalked a comment about the very old judge who made the decision and a swastika. I then went to Wellington police station and handed myself in to police there, as I trusted them. They were very nice but made me talk about the police assault which was very upsetting, it was obvious they were uncomfortable with what Wairarapa police had done and the entire situation I was in.

I was given a bail notice to appear on 6th February and conditions that I wasn’t to go within 1 metre of a Wairarapa police station and was to stay every night at my current address. On 1 February a police officer came to my home (which police know I am terrified of), he was very nice and respectful, he told me the 6 Feb date was done in error and could I sign a new Notice of Police Bail that required me to attend court on Monday 5 February. I was told failure to appear would result in my arrest and the notice advises I may be punished by imprisonment of up to 3 months if I did not attend.

I was nervous about the court, as I have spent the past 18 months being dragged through court, I have to get mentally prepared to go, I get dressed up. I am very poor at the moment because I havn’t had a flatmate for past 3 months and had to drive to Masterton with my petrol light flashing – and stressing about that.

When I got there I went inside to tell security to call me when my name came up as I was going to wait outside – and had my guitar so I could sing my songs, which helps me feel less stressed.   I have been escorted from court several times for singing and getting upset inside the court. Court staff know it is better for me to be outside waiting, I don’t feel so trapped (the need to be outside is related to the rape and heightened fight flight and freeze response/impairment I now have). While I was outside singing at around 9am – I was at court at 8.30am as required by the notice.

I also chalked “STOP police violence towards disabled women” on the court fence, I have chalked in this way many times before and not been arrested for it, I know it is within my rights to do this considering the extent of persecution and human rights violations I have been subjected to over several years.

NOTE: I have made a formal complaint to about Judge PJ Butler over his decision and I am attempting to appeal the conviction for graffiti – or more accurately the POLICE ASSAULT decision. But I have been very unwell and still cannot get a lawyer so trying to do it myself.

Police came along outside court and handed me a summons to appear in court on 5 March. Told me I wouldn’t be going to court today. I was very confused, I needed to see the judge to plead and ask for a psych assessment regarding my mental health and motivation behind the blood protest. The WHITE RIBBON sign I threw red poster pain on said to SPEAK OUT ABOUT VIOLENCE TOWARDS WOMEN. I had spoken out and been victimised even more. I know how long court takes, I wanted to make sure things were done as quickly as possible and getting the judge to order an assessment with Justin Barry-Walsh (who I trust and has assessed me for court proceedings previously) would speed things up. Also I had to get a lawyer.

Police left and I went into the court to see the judge. The security guard was very odd, he told me I wasn’t on the court list and I wasn’t allowed in the court, to see a judge or the registrar. I became upset and was then told I was trespassed. I know every person has a right under Magna Carta to see a judge if they need to. I was told there was only a registrar and no judge that day – even though the police officer who came to my home said I would be see a judge. I was prepared to see the registrar but they refused to let me. A woman who works at the court came out from a room looking frightened, she said there was only a registrar, she knew something bad was happening to me I am sure.

I left the court and headed back to my car not far away, as I was three police officers came around the corner, the two who had given me the summons and another. There was one shorter police officer and two very tall ones – it was very intimidating. I have NEVER resisted arrest police know that, I have had situations in Wellington where one officer was sent to arrest me. Once I am told I am under arrest I comply with everything police say, unless it violates my rights.

I was very distressed at being required to be in court or I could spend time in jail, but told I didn’t need to be there and to come back in a month. I went home with my light still flashing, I was very upset, mostly because the behaviour by police was so blatantly part of the GASLIGHTING form of psychological abuse vulnerable people can be subjected to by people in positions of power over them, either abusive partners or abusive organisations like police. This is a well documented and accepted form of abuse in power relationships. This is why we have a Human Rights Act and supposed to be protected from this form of violence by those in positions of power.

As Tuesday was a holiday on Wednesday I headed for Wellington early to see a judge or the registrar so I could have my court case moved to Wellington as it was obvious to me I was never going to get justice at the Masterton Court and the police station is behind the court house. I am terrified of Wairarapa police after years of discrimination and harm that you and other organisations suppose to protect me ignore.

I knew I had to see a judge but there were none available at Wellington District Court which I found strange, given it was a city court. I asked to see the registrar to explain what had happened and get the court proceedings moved. I talked to a Chinese man who was difficult to understand because of his accent, he was horrible, when I started to cry recounting what was going on he became insulting and patronising, when I told him it was police who were harming me he got worse. Because I was upset security were called to stand behind me and intimidate me – I was sodomised by the rapist from behind I get nervous when men stand behind me.

I then spoke to another person in the registrar’s office at Wellington District Court, all the woman said was for me to calm down – ie not cry and be completely distraught. She didn’t help me get to see the registrar to get court changed and arrange a psych report (as has been done before when I have gone through court for protesting about not receiving mental health care I am entitled to by law). Then she told security to remove me without helping me. A large woman with blond hair was by this stage standing behind her with a look of complete contempt on her face – a manager perhaps.

I left with security, but asked to see a lawyer on the 2nd floor, which I was allowed to do. This lawyer – who I will get the name of soon – listened to what was happening for just a short time, took my two Bail notices and summons off me, told me they were police documents and nothing to do with the court and I should leave. I was shocked, this wasn’t right advice and I knew that, I left with security. The lawyer told me if I wanted the court venue changed it was police I had to ask. I was scared to go to them but I had no choice.

I then went to Wellington police station as the lawyer told me and explained the situation. They told me I could not get court venue changed unless I changed my plea to guilty. But I hadn’t been able to plead because they wouldn’t let me in the court (even if I was going to plead not guilty I still hadn’t told the court that). The police officer was very nice, I was very very upset, he knew what was happening to me was wrong. He ended up agreeing it was a judge or registrar that would need to change the court venue – as I was now terrified of being in Masterton knowing what they were capable of. I kept saying I was sorry to him, for being so upset and that I had to complain about what police in Wairarapa were doing to me.

I left the police station and headed for the Community Law Centre where I sat waiting for 2 hours, crying mostly. I saw two women and told them my story, they said I really needed a lawyer and listed three on the form they gave me – I was distraught, begged them to find me a lawyer as when I ever tried I was rejected – they refused saying they weren’t allowed. I have since phoned those three lawyers one of them was not a criminal lawyer and couldn’t do it – the other two weren’t taking on new clients. I then remembered why I stopped going to Community Law Centre (I had been there about 5 times in past 14 years) because they always told me I needed a lawyer, referred me to people who were too busy or refused to help me because it wasn’t their area of expertise. This is a violation of my Magna Carta rights, and I know it.

Because I am now terrified of Wairarapa police and security at Masterton Court house I know I won’t be able to attend the summons on 5 March – I have no mental health support and impairments related to my disorder will stop me from going – I become phobic and unable to move when I am very unwell. I would then break the law and then police will come to my home and violently arrest me – I don’t want that, but I can’t go to Masterton court, I know I can’t. This is an impairment related to my disability and must be accommodated if possible under Human Rights and Bill of Rights laws.

When I spoke to Community Law lawyers they told me I was right in applying to the registrar in Wellington, they suggested the reason court staff were so insulting is they don’t like dealing with lay-people. If a lawyer was representing me they would have treated them with respect at the request to shift venues and most likely agreed, considering the proof of years of victimisation and police violence.

I desperately need a lawyer but there are none, I can’t appear in court in Masterton because of impairments related to my disorder, God please help me – what do I do? I have phoned dozens of lawyers, every rejection causes me to self-harm and is extremely harmful and degrading.

I contact politicians and senior police who supposed to take complaints of harm seriously – they refuse to do anything. I am a Civil Society Actor as defined by the United Nations it is illegal to use processes in a punitive way, which is exactly what is happening to me. I have contacted the United Nations, they told me you would help me and protect me, but you never have.

GOD PLEASE HELP ME.

Yours sincerely

JR

Civil Society Actor

HUMAN SEWAGE

 

 

Budget Policy Statement 2018 – New Zealand

SUBMISSION BY JR Civil Society Actor, on NZ GOVT BUDGET POLICY STATEMENT 2018

 

Yet another submission to government that I know will not be considered because it does not fit the neo-liberal agenda and demands immediate action on the terrorism of an entire sector of society after 30years of this illegal, immoral and irrational economic model.

 

It has been my contention for many years it is government PRIORITES that had become illegal/immoral by violating our most basic laws of Westminister Statute 1st – Common right be done to all rich as poor, and Magna Carta – no person shall be destroyed and every person shall have access to right and justice. They also violate Commonwealth Charter, NZ Bill of Rights, ACC legislation, disability, human & civil rights laws and multiple SIGNED United Nations declarations. Then of course there is the violation of Christianity -which our laws are based on and every sociology and psychology rule about causes of violence & social dysfunction.

 

Government kindness was

Never an OPTION

And

Cruelty was always

ILLEGAL

 

It is obvious people in power have started to realise those of us impoverished and persecuted by this economic terrorism aren’t going to take any more of it and our appalling statistics in child suicide, homelessness, addiction, violence, corporate greed, inequality etc is proof. I am sure there will be many others like me demanding to get gross injustices we have experienced addressed and compensated in a Court of New Zealand. I am sure this is why you are so focused on CHILD POVERTY and not dealing with the damage the past 30 yrs of adult poverty has caused – which our mental health stats reflect (and international drug companies profit from/along with justice system). You don’t want to deal with all those abuse victims who driven mad due to lack of services they entitled to – which included safe homes to live in and decent jobs if they older. You don’t want to deal with those of us demanding compensation for the torture and suffering we have been through – demanding justice.

You have mentioned child poverty 14 times in this one document, every one of those was an insult to the parents of these children who are obviously living in poverty as well. Of course elites like to pretend these parents are all losers, drink and drug and don’t care about their kids – which is NOT TRUE. Although many of the parents that are dysfunctional in this way are abuse victims themselves and never got the help they are entitled to and needed under ACC/disability laws/disability strategy/professional rehabilitation models to heal from their trauma and STOP the cycle. I know this for a fact because I live this grossly unjust nightmare – where media and government continuously say they don’t know what to do yet allow ACC to deny disabled mentally injured abuse victims our entitlements. I have spent the past 15 years since I was raped understanding the violence industry, law, human rights etc – I’ve been rotting on welfare, I have the time and I work very long hours and weeks without a break.

 

You refer to the Governments Budget Responsibility Rules, which I am sure National party have been violating for the past eight years, that makes me nervous, cause it indicates you are going to continue to give BUDGET constraints, as an excuse to deny disabled people safe stable homes to live in NOW! (People in Carterton who know how bad housing crisis is here was asking why aren’t govt bringing in the army, prefab homes like they had in Christchurch?)

 

Addressing housing and infrastructure crisis over years, while continuing with extreme levels of immigration is grossly irresponsible and illegal under Imperial Laws. Immigrants are driving New Zealanders out of their homes, businesses and jobs – you have made that legal and any sociologist will tell you it creates racism and violence. Humans have been fighting off invaders that take their most basic resources since BEGINNING OF HUMANS. Having this sort of environment will be triggering the basic instincts of all those affected – another reason people are becoming violent, cruel, addicted and committing suicide.

 

I’m not a social deficit and mental health infrastructure was purposely destroyed by Annette King and the Labour party, people thrown into the community without professional care & safe stable homes to live in. Everybody knows this, it is common knowledge, it is also common knowledge many mentally ill people caused significant harm and ended up in our justice system instead. I know for a fact as psych hospitals emptied, prisons filled and our judiciary were completely complicit with this gross miscarriage of justice against an entire sector of society. I have seen it myself watching court for just over an hour, 12 cases, four of them identified as mental health, four more I identified as mental health (ie violence as a result of Complex PTSD and severe stress) and four more deserved to be there.

 

I find it extremely threatening that government would want to invest more in police, when they are the ones who currently leading the way in persecution of mentally injured abuse victims and mentally ill. Why would you need more investment in police if you are going to help poorest people get safe stable homes and jobs? Or are you in complete denial at the inhuman environment people are being forced to live in – a living and social environment that satisfies Maslows Heirachy of Needs model (a model I satisfy on no levels – which is why I have been unable to recover from the sexual abuse and neglect trauma) which is why I am highly suicidal, self-harm, bulimic, attachment disorder, tick, have Complex PTSD and live rotting on welfare when I am an intelligent person treated like human sewage.

 

I have seen a new department start about evidence based policing, you managed to get something like this going in the first 100 days but you can’t address the 1000s of us who make complaints about police that are ignored. I have written to several Ministers telling them about ongoing police intimidation and violence – my own MP Kieran McNaulty emailed me recently and told me there was nothing he would or could do about it. Many of my activist friends in area of ABUSE have heard the same thing from those in the government they were relying on for justice and compensation. (NOTE: compensation that would see them at the same economic level of their peers, which they were unable to realise due to impacts of their abuse and criminal neglect.)

 

ECONOMIC AND FISCAL OUTLOOK

 

The admission in such an important and formal document that some New Zealanders have not received the benefits of economic growth using neo-liberal theories is an admission previous govts have violated the Westminister Statute 1st and Magna Carta. I am sure many in the legal profession would be aware that when a poor peasant has these rights to protection and safety illegally removed by rich powerful people THEY NO LONGER HAVE TO FOLLOW ANY LAW – the contract between rich and poor that created our justice system has been violated. Our ancestors were quite aware of human behaviour and knew allowing rich unbridled power over poor only ever resulted in suffering and violence, hence the increase in violence in our society, people with nothing to lose. Who now get more of their basic needs met in jail than in the community – although I do think this was designed like this purposely to support a corrupted cruel immoral and criminal penal system & create jobs (where many had been driven out of the country to China and poorer countries with few human rights).

 

It terrifies me with the focus on FAMILIES as it purposely limits any support for some of the most terrorised and persecuted members of society after 30yrs of neo-liberal terrorist policies, disabled people without children or whose children have left home. (NOTE, neo-liberal policies are terrorist acts as I have read the Terrorism Suppression Act and you are not allowed to impoverish large sectors of society for a belief system.)

 

Government acceptance and happiness with a 4% unemployment rate is grossly unjust neo-liberalism at its worst. In one breath you are saying you want to increase trade and employment, while in the next you are saying you’re happy with 4% unemployment. It is obvious if free trade was going to FIX unemployment in New Zealand it would have happened after the Chinese FTA. I find it interesting the number of unemployed is about the same number as disabled people and it is true from my experience, those who can’t get work most often have disabilities.

 

In recent OPINIONATED news from NZ Initiative (ie Business Round Table terrorists) the appalling statistics of people with injuries/illness/disabilities who now don’t work compared to pre-neoliberalism was offset by comment by AAAP members, a group of social activists. There was no discussion with disability advocacy groups, Workbridge or WINZ employment consultants as to the facts of what happening.   NZ Initiative implied these disabled people worked through their impairments but now they are too lazy too. I have attended many meetings by many different organisations and the fact is employers refuse to employ disabled people due to cost and OSH requirements.

 

It makes me very sad to think the massive increase in productivity in New Zealand was mostly due to disabled people being dumped from the workforce. I have never met a disabled person that isn’t desperate to work – at something they are capable of doing without suffering and being bored into suicide (like they do in China). I have studied health disability and rehabilitation at Massey University, the book Person to Person outlined the plight of disabled people over decades – we are the ones last to be employed and first to be fired.

 

Any employer will hire something who can work faster than another – that is why orchardists prefer to hire healthy strong Fijians on their orchards rather than less able New Zealand workers. With the mass immigration government are continuing (at their peril) it is quite obvious disabled people will continue to be denied work, safe stable homes and a dignified standard of living.

 

The obsession with education in neo-liberal countries has got to stop, we cannot all be what we want and trying to perpetrate that illusion is one of the reasons we have such a high rate of youth suicide. Someone has to clean toilets and make 100s latte’s every day for years. If we were all lifted out of poverty by education then who would do this type of work.

 

That the government are going to stop bringing in low skilled workers and continue to import highly skilled wealthy people is a NEO-LIBERAL ABOMINATION. So what you are saying are New Zealanders, especially our young are going to be doing the menial, low paid, low skilled, boring work, while foreigners are going to get the good, interesting, well paid jobs. This appalling aspect of neo-liberalism HAS destroyed the entire fabric of our society and violated so many cultural and criminal laws it still astounds me it is allowed to continue. Of course I am resentful when a foreigner moves to Carterton with a good job I could have done if given the opportunity – if my kids had been given the opportunity. Of course I am prone to Xenophobia – ie hating all immigrants and seeing them as a threat to my survival – because they are – its not their fault of course, its our corrupt, cruel and incompetent governments fault. Same people who hold themselves up as knights and dames with high moral fibre. Watching the hypocrisy and these gross injustices every day is the main reason I want to die every day as well – as I have no hope while this is not acknowledged and rectified IMMEDIATELY – not in four years!

 

Treasury are corrupt – I know that for a fact and their forecasts that migration will drop from 72,400 to a long-run average of 15,000 by 2021 is absolutely ridiculous and not based on any FACT whatsoever. The world’s population is growing at an alarming rate, millions of people displaced by war, lack of water/resources etc requires those places like New Zealand that can sustain humans are going to fill up faster. Also many people are trying to escape the violence of other neo-liberal controlled countries more progressed than ours, like USA – Americans are high on immigration list. Sadly they are bringing with them their vindictive, self-righteous and cruel cultural beliefs about advancing rich, profiting from everything possible, including those they put in jail – the American prison system is the most corrupt, cruel and grossly unjust in the world today according to multiple documentaries coming out about it.

 

I did not see one mention of the appalling state of justice system for disabled/mentally ill and poor people who are now having their Magna Carta rights violated – as I am – I have been unable to get a lawyer to protect me from civil rights violations, ACC illegally withholding my entitlements and harm by police etc FOR YEARS. Apparently civil legal aid lawyers are almost impossible to find, human rights is considered civil law, which I find extremely disturbing considering the level of violence and suffering people like me are subjected to. Only those in the legal system would understand just how bad it is – because our bias media mostly refuse to address or report on it. While Justice Winkleman makes speeches about how poor citizens up against powerful government institutions are having their rights to justice violated. She writes about it and speaks about it – but this gross miscarriage of justice goes on unchecked. I have written to her several times – I am not even given the respect of a reply and the Secretary for Justice just trivialises or discredits anything I say about gross violations of law.

 

When considering what priorities the government should have over the next term I would suggest beginning at those points where people’s rights are being violated are the most important. I know for a fact disabled people must have access to social housing in a society like New Zealand. All resources currently devoted to infrastructure or commercial construction should be moved to urban development IMMEDIATELY. (Personally I think a percentage of private construction resources should be diverted as well.) If the government did this then the immigration issue would not be as socially damaging as it is now. It is people losing resources to rich foreigners that is causing the hatred and racism. No person should be allowed in this country unless they have somewhere to live AND NO NEW ZEALANDER SHOULD BE KICKED OUT OF THEIR HOME by an immigrant.

 

Imagine the social repair to our society that would happen if we were allowed to help each other. With all disabled people in state provided housing (that could be with state loans) it would free up property for others who need it, it would bring down rental costs dramatically (which I know rich people, neo-liberals and National party right DO NOT WANT). It would take the profit out of property and stabilise the accommodation market. Of course it would cause a huge financial crash which would have to be managed by banking regulation – but then it is banking deregulation behind so much suffering, waste, greed and pollution of our entire planet. Money that was created from thin air in the form of a loan to someone who did not work for any of it. (This is why ANZ bank now funds so much elitist sport, cause they have most of the money – it overwhelmes me to think how much money banks take out of our economy in the form of interest – how much suffering they create.)

 

For 30 years taxes to the rich have been reduced while taxes to the poor continually increase. When the government said they weren’t going to reinstate higher taxes to the rich I was horrified.   They have all the money, they have taken all the money, they are the ones using to harm people as well, they gloat about their wealth everywhere in our media, they are grossly wasteful while others are forced to be frugal to the point they can’t participate in society or fulfil cultural beliefs (eg can’t go home for Xmas, can’t go on holiday cause can’t afford it).

 

Every time you go on about child poverty and delivering more money to families with children I cry. Every impoverished and disabled parent is humiliated and denigrated with this patronising insulting elitist ‘propaganda’ – it is the parents who are poor, not the children. The propaganda about poor people is rife and based on no scientific understanding of what causes poverty and family violence. New Zealand has extreme rates of family violence in New Zealand because of the radical application of neo-liberal theories – academics have spoken about NZ going from one of the most protected and controlled countries in the world to THE MOST unprotected and free economies. A fact that saw 100,000s families broken forever as people were forced to move to Australia and other countries to find work – while the rich got richer and the disabled poor who couldn’t leave were persecuted (yes I have a dictionary and know what the word means and it is appropriate to use).

 

When I was a disabled single mum with children, after being hurt in a violent sexual crime, I was much better off than a disabled single woman with nowhere safe and stable to live, forced to go flatting with people who exploited, victimised and terrorised me (as well as attempting suicide and them and me getting no help). As my children came of the age to leave home it was horrendous for me and them – I had lost my own home after I was raped and couldn’t return to work or my law studies – as ACC refused to provide entitlements.

 

Knowing I am a destitute disabled woman living on welfare in this hell hole of a country, is why I continuously battle suicide, as I have absolutely no hope for the future. The government even put out advertising saying if people didn’t save for their retirement they wouldn’t have enough food to eat – did anybody think they were showing these advertisements to disabled people who had no way of saving for the future – they don’t get enough to live with dignity now.

 

Also families being better off by $66 a week – is completely insignificant in the scheme of raises in rent and other costs that can’t be avoided, including the extreme cost of food – $5.50 for 500g butter, $25/kilo for fish – cause we have to compete with rest of world & what they will pay. Then of course there are the costs we now face of education, health and justice – all introduced by neo-liberals to cut taxes to the rich and impoverish the poor.

 

I know about disability, I know about laws related to disabled people and their rights, I have read the disability strategy I know for a fact disabled people’s rights to participate in society are not upheld, neither are their rights to housing and WORK. Please refer to my website SOLUTIONS page about what should be happening in the area of rehabilitation for mentally injured abuse victims. www.jrmurphypoet.com

 

Please refer to my regional rehabilitation centres idea and regional mental health facilities – we must heal those who have been damaged by the past 30years of neo-liberal terrorism because WE ARE NOT going to be ignored. Germany recognised their human rights violations and what they had done to Disabled, gypsies and Jews, they gave compensation – what has happened in New Zealand is very similar (except many were driven to suicide & profited from in jails) and those who been harmed will demand this injustice is addressed and rectified – I demand it.

 

Government should have NO DEBT WHATSOEVER they should be in credit and loaning it others. The idea that any group could run up debt by cutting taxes to the rich then forcing poor top pay massive amounts of interest to foreign banks is extremely corrupt, incompetent, negligent and immoral. No council should have private debt either, user pays is part of neo-liberalism and DOES NOT WORK. Places like Masterton spent $millions of rates on doing up sports grounds, parks, business centres etc – while illegally not doing anything about things like sewerage infrastructure (eg Masterton mayor Bob Francis).

 

HOME OWNERSHIP IS A CULTURAL RIGHT that is currently being violated. This began during Gov Grey era 1900s, as I have done history research on Grey and Small Farms Settlement at Greytown. Grey knew then what landlords were capable of, after seeing what had happened to tenant farmers in Ireland during potato famin. He wanted peasants to have opportunity to own/work land. Personally I prefer the Maori model of land ownership, as caretaker of land and I do not believe any corporation of foreigner should EVER own land in this country. Making peasants tenants is a neo-liberal terrorist ideology that, like I said, is a violation of our cultural rights. The current level of foreign takeover of our resources HAS GOT TO STOP – and the lies that this is imperative for New Zealand to survive HAS GOT TO STOP AS WELL.

 

I disagree with the priorities in the 100 day plan, as a mentally injured/ill suicidal abuse victim, rotting on welfare in unsafe unstable private housing with no health care and having my human and civil rights violated NOTHING in that package has helped me IN ANY WAY.

 

The idea of yet another inquiry into mental health, when we all know what the problems are is insulting to my intelligence and 15 years of fighting for the treatment care rehabilitation and justice I am entitled to under the law – both under National and Labour governments. We don’t need to restart the Mental Health Commission we need to provide professional care using professional health and rehabilitation models – we need to follow the law and science, not the experimental and harmful system we currently have.

 

We do need an inquiry into corruption by drug companies in the area of mental health and the forced drugging of mentally injured abuse victims (who being refused professional care) and mentally ill. The drugging of people terrorised by poverty, housing and food insecurity. I know Mark Unsworth is an ex-drug company executive and I believe was sent here and set up his PR business in 1993 just to ensure drug companies made profit from those the government was about to impoverish and terrorise PURPOSELY.

 

I’m sorry I can’t go on, I have become really unwell and can’t stop crying, the injustices me and so many other neglected disabled mentally injured abuse victims are being subjected to by government and our communities overwhelms me.

 

I am unable to proof read what I have written either, so I hope it is OK, please ignore spelling and grammar mistakes. I am sure I have not covered everything I want to say but I do always hope I will one day get a voice with those who have power in government to change the gross injustice happening to me and many other women children and men.

 

Kia kaha and Aroha to us all

 

JR

Civil Society Actor

 

19 January 2018

I DEMAND Donna Howard NZ POLICE deal with police assault – TODAY – #16DAYSOFACTION2017

I will take the focus off NZ police violence against me and others during my current protests if Insp Donna Howard DEALS WITH what happened, I get justice & to meet with the two officers.

THESE ARE MY COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED DEMANDS

The officer who assaulted me gets counselling, a written warning and a record of it on his file.

The officer who threatened me with future increased  violence, gets a written warning and has it recorded on his file.

They have to meet with me in a safe place so I can tell them what they did to me and how it affected my life.

I demand an apology and assurance there will be no future violence towards me if I have any future dealings with police in my Civil Society activism work.

I wish I could slap their faces for what they did – BUT I DON’T HIT MEN AS A RULE!

A sczophrenic man once told me DON’T TRUST VIOLENCE – and I don’t – shame the police and New Zealand government don’t hold the same high standards – like those ones in the bible they swear an oath to as an agent of The Queen.

I will put my focus about violence towards women back on the shoulders of New Zealands leaders – exactly where it belongs.

I have a traumatic stress disorder that is compounding if I DON’T or can’t deal with stressful situations in my life it makes my  mental health much worse.  Getting an apology and assurance of no future violence from those two officers IS DEALING WITH IT – while it remains un-dealt with it causes me significant stress and harm – that fuels my suicidality, self-harm, bulimia etc.

Please make it stop – that’s all I’m asking, please take at least one serious stress and worry out of my life.  Please make me stop thinking every time I hear a car in my street it is police coming to get me.  Please stop me from being too scared to protest about abusive mental health services, poverty and injustice.

As a woman I am deeply disappointed in the conduct of Insp Donna Howard, IPCA and New Zealand’s most senior police officers who have allowed this to continue – while promoting White Ribbon propaganda.  It breaks my heart every time I see a piece of marketing about violence towards women & then it makes me really really angry!

Then I can stuff down all the fear I feel and go out in the community and tie a whole lot of white ribbons outside the police station, or chalk a fence or the footpath, or put up a sign I have painted, or put a poem on youtube……

Took OIA request to find out all trespasses

All the places I am ILLEGALLY TRESPASSED FROM – those people and organisations who are terrified at seeing the face of those they terrorise in the darklands of this neo-liberal hell hole of a country.  Had to do a Official Information Act request just to get them

Email to John Key – I am an Activist NOT a Terrorist

Good day chalking in Wellington, John Key was out on a walk so I vented and bollocked the fk out of him – called him a fkn murderer stopping people getting mental health services, stopping people from having safe houses to live in, etc – was really hard for me as I was assaulted by his security officers last time.  Was threatened with arrest again by one of them but stood up to him, told me to leave the area, told him NO WAY, PUBLIC STREET AND I WASN’T MOVING AND I HAD EVERY RIGHT TO SWEAR AT HIM!   When I went into question time about an hour later, same officer escorted me and sat directly behind me – its quite amusing now cause I know I’m never going to do anything while in the house, CAUSE I’M AN ACTIVIST NOT A TERRORIST – never have been violent and never will.

Below is the email I sent to John Key in response to today, I like to reassure him, as I know he’s a frightened bully and a coward.


From:
Sent: Tuesday, 29 November 2016 8:58 p.m.
To: John Key
Subject: I am an activist not a terrorist

Hi John,

I swore at you again on the street today and got threatened with arrest by one of your security staff.  If you can’t handle the language of New Zealanders who are being persecuted by your violent, immoral, criminally negligent policies then you shouldn’t be in Parliament.  I’m a NON-VIOLENT activist, doesn’t stop me venting at you verbally and I never threaten harm, unlike your bullies threaten me – I just tell you what you are doing and that I don’t like it.

Reason I ‘lose it’ when I see you, is you have not been listening to me and 100,000s of other struggling New Zealanders – especially those of us who are disabled by abuse, trauma and neglect.  Not having a safe home to live in is abuse/trauma/neglect; not getting the health care I am legally entitled to from ACC etc so I can heal from the rape and return to work is abuse/trauma/neglect; not listening to what I know about the science behind violence, addiction, suicide and stress disorders is abuse/trauma/neglect; being told I am abusive when I politely tell my MP Alastair Schott how bad ‘the system’ is, is abuse/trauma/neglect; not listening to what I know people are entitled to under law & science is abuse/trauma/neglect; having me dragged through court repeatedly for legally protesting in a non-violent way is abuse/trauma/neglect – I could go on…………..

You were the one who stopped my ACC care illegally in 2009, you ordered ACC to dump 10,000s of claimants and you didn’t care how they did it either.  Of course I am angry with you A LOT of people are, but they don’t tell you and your supporters to their face, like I do.  I despise all people who vote National and if I get the opportunity I tell them that they are the ones who vote for the ongoing cruelty – although from watching the house today I’m not sure if your party are even mentally stable any longer.  Only time I cried today was when Nick Smith was going on about how great government have done with housing?  NOT ONE THING he said would help me get a safe house to live in in Wairarapa – as we don’t have state houses here and proceeds from Trust House (sick sick name) all go to extravagant sports and arts projects and business.  How do you expect a person with CPTSD to heal if they aren’t in a safe place – it is impossible?

This email gives John Key the authority to view my ACC, police, justice and medical file – I have nothing to hide, as I’m sure your security team will already know.  Speaking of them, they didn’t like it when I called them aholes as I was leaving the Parliament today, I realised later that was retaliation for the officer who threatened me when I swore at you in the street – which you deserved – please tell them that.

Lots of people don’t like you, but you’re not the worst in Parliament, Bill English, Nick Smith, Christopher Finlayson, Judith Collins, Anne Tolley, Paula Bennett, Simon Bridges and Amy Adams are.

Have you worked it out yet, 30 yrs of neo-liberal terrorists advancing rich, disadvantaging middle class, persecuting disabled poor, driving decent jobs overseas, cutting state housing, selling off public infrastructure, privatising everything possible and putting in hands of greedy immoral people, cutting health care and making welfare SO SO SO degrading has bought us to now and the seething angry resentful ignorant bigoted country we have become.  Trumped again.

Now if I could get the ACC care I am entitled to, or any other of those mental health services you go on about – that don’t actually work and aren’t actually there for disabled people like myself, then maybe I wouldn’t be so angry and ‘lose it’ when I see you.  Before I was raped and treated like human sewage by those agencies who were legally supposed to help me, I seldom swore and definitely not in public – you and your ignorant supporters have driven me to this.

I chalked some things on the footpath outside Supreme court and across from Parliament for you.  A poem called You’re Cruel I’m Blamed (Google it, check out my website jrmurphypoet.com) was very apt after what your security officer said to me.  Plus I made comments about neo-liberals being terrorists and how the judiciary was participating in this cruelty and criminal negligence – that there were laws in this country that say you cannot advance rich at the same time as disadvantaging poor, you are not allowed to destroy people (like you have destroyed me) and everybody must have access to justice, which of course I don’t – unless I get charged with legally protesting, which I will get off AGAIN.  I can only imagine the amount of money I have cost since I was raped by a badly abused child who didn’t get help he was entitled to, would have been lots cheaper to provide me the treatment care and rehabilitation I am entitled to under ACC, health, disability, criminal, imperial, human rights and bill of rights laws.  As you know from my website me and 1000s of others already know the solutions, YOU CHOOSE not to do them, sad when I know this could be an international business that could bring peace to so many countries.

I find it EXTREMELY offensive when you (and Nick Smith today) wear the white ribbon when you know you create 80% of this violence by traumatising and degrading people.  You refuse to provide professional and adequate mental health services and facilities, you refuse to provide safe housing (mentally ill have had housing issues for years – and majority of people in state houses were from troubled homes.)  You and your neo-liberal terrorist friends created this, then you make money out of it – ahhh THE VIOLENCE INDUSTRY.

One day you will realise just how much suffering and harm you caused so many people in this country, who did not deserve it.  When history looks back at your time as Prime Minister it will be in disgust at what you and your supporters/controllers did.  Karma

Sincerely

JR

Civil Society Actor

PERSECUTED WHISTLEBLOWER

HUMAN SEWAGE LIVING IN THE DARKLANDS

New Zealand Police vs JR Murphy

After phoning Police Headquarters Complaint Investigation Unit about huge delay in dealing with police assault in August, I received a phone call from Insp Donna Howard who took over Wairarapa District earlier this year.  What Insp Howard said to me yesterday (18/11/2016) is really pissing me off so I need to write about it, I will send the link to her as well.  Towards the end of our conversation about police phoning me if they have someone phone them ‘concerned for my welfare’, she started saying I should be respectful of HER staff, that I shouldn’t swear at them.  Told her since I was assaulted by one of HER officers I had little respect for them and how dare she expect me to after what they have put me through.  I hung up or I would have started swearing and sent her an email, explaining briefly why I got angry.

Felt I needed to explain the backstory to my rage and disgust in police, especially in the Wairarapa where I live.  Also my disability is Compounding CPTSD, so all the unresolved trauma police have caused builds up, which is why I was having nightmares and was so frightened by noises of cars in my street that police were coming to get me.

It was always a rule of mine not to swear at the police and I didn’t for years, even if several times I wanted to.  My brother in law a Snr Sgt, he told me what to do, not to swear or say the P word.  It wasn’t until they started being vindictive and mean, stripping me naked in the cells and demanding I remove my underwear even when I had my period; charging me with bogus minor crimes then dropping the charges at the last minute or losing the case (around 10 times since illegally ACC withdrew all my care in 2009 and I started protesting).

Taking me up to the cells when they didn’t need to, being violent and degrading (violently arresting me Xmas Eve 2014, refusing me shoes & a jersey when I was sick with flu).  Basher insulting me at home, telling me if I was broke (and I was) that I should sell my furniture –  furniture my friends had given me.  Sykes gossiping about me around town telling people not to let their children come to my house because I was a nutter, another officer hiding a formal complaint over the Xmas Eve event.  Then of course there were the repeated welfare visits (more than 50) which were embarrassing and my neighbours saw.  Most officers were nice but ignored when I said about ACC or mental health refusing me services.

Then there was the late night welfare visit at 11pm earlier this year which was very traumatic for me.  The welfare visit I was taken to Masterton and charged with Misuse of a Telephone for phoning ACC screaming to have my care reinstated (as I had done many times with no response).

  • My case manager had phoned April 2014 telling me my care would be reinstated as it was in 2009, I spent 15 minutes confirming this.  All that happened was I had to do another traumatic assessment with Dr Doris in Auckland, had to catch plane up and back in 1 day, lots of things I had to pay for.  I was very unwell and needed my care back it was psychological torture to be told it would be, telling all my family and friends it would be, then nothing happened.  I still have absolutely no services and my doctor is hopeless – although she wrote to them weeks ago asking why  my care was withdrawn and why it hasn’t been reinstated, just like other doctors have done, and had no response.

Years ago I discovered Sections 150A 151 155 and 157 of the Crimes Act, I know ACC are violating these laws and police have continuously refused to prosecute them.  One officer did look into it but after several months of hope, told me police ‘didn’t know who to prosecute’ so refused to go any further (ACC are a limited liability company, my case manager, the CEO and Chair Paula Rebstock should have been charged – of course there needed to be a thorough investigation to identify others persecuting me but it was never done).  So when ACC phoned and wanted me prosecuted for an extremely minor charge of course I was extremely upset with police – and why should I have any respect for them – they are supposed to uphold the law for me, protect people like me, not just rich and powerful at ACC (who are illegally refusing me and so many others disabled by abuse care and leaving me in harmful situations).

Then of course there are all my protests and the charges I have got off there, that should never have been taken and I told them that over and over again, that I was within my rights, under Bill of Rights laws.

Another vindictive mean thing they did was keep me in the cells overnight twice, where I broke down in the morning both times.  First time was for breaching trespass notice for parliament – I was outside the building – after being told by police they wouldnt’ arrest me the week before, this day they did.  I overhead one of the officers tell another that the order had come down from upstairs (because they wanted to let me go).  My girls were 14 and 15 then and were left home alone.  Also there was already case law that said people can protest on Parliament grounds even if trespassed previously.

Next time was week before Xmas 2014 I violated bail conditions and did a protest at Justice House, I was very unwell, singing, reciting poetry and had my naked torso painting.  I didn’t know I would have to stay and was really upset, was told by police a lawyer couldn’t get me out – found out that was wrong.  Because I have mental health issues they are not allowed to hold you in the cells for longer than six hours – I’m sure the cop didn’t know BUT I should have seen a lawyer.

Also was arrested for not appearing in court – because I couldn’t afford to get there and was traumatised by what had happened in 2013.  Police waited two weeks then picked me up 8am 2 January, a public holiday and my birthday, which they knew.  Initially was angry and traumatised by this, then couldn’t stop laughing on way to court – the shear stupidity and vindictiveness of police was laughable.  Had my kids home for a visit, had a day of things planned I had to delay for three hours.  Other person seeing judge that day was a man who had beaten up his partner and wanted to get out of the cells.  I had done nothing but a non-violent protest begging for my health care to be reinstated by ACC so I could get back to work.

Then of course there was the violent arrest during the Rugby World Cup where I had been protesting outside ACC building and police were called.  I had vented and was really angry but ready to leave when police arrived (I never threatened anybody with harm but called them maggots and swore at them several times).  One officer went inside to talk to staff and one stayed with me and refused to let me leave – other officer came out without speaking and slammed a handcuff on my right wrist.  I freaked out – my stress disorder – pulled away from him like I was being attacked onto the ground screaming in fear, my wrist still attached to his arm.  Have been scared of handcuffs since and always ask, then beg, for them not to be used (nice police officers don’t use them).  You are not allowed to arrest a person like that, you are supposed to warn them they are under arrest etc.  I blame the Sgt who sent two young men to deal with a disabled female protester, as they were having to deal with violent rugby fans every night and just used same tactics on me – inappropriately.

Then of course there were the insults and discrimination that prompted me to chalk pen a swastika onto the Carterton police station.  Telling me I was a liar, that lots of people had tried to help me – I just didn’t want it.  Telling me I was protesting all the time and made it my job because I was mentally ill, again that I was a liar and nobody was being discriminated against or refused care they entitled to.  That my protesting was a joke, that they weren’t scared of me like the others – which showed they were being vindictive.  Threatened in very menacing way if I didn’t stop protesting my innocence and rights under law, saying I had just been assaulted and talking about ACC etc that I would find out just how mean and nasty the officer could become if he wanted.

Why would anybody be scared of me, I’m a single woman with a disability, no partner so no protection from a man, isolated from my family and most of my community – police have an entire force to back them up and they do rightly or wrongly.  Not all police are mean, but those who aren’t are allowing others to do it and not saying anything -which makes them almost as bad.

Then the assault 🙁 then 3 hours of being held at Masterton Police Station, went into shock after the assault (had only just got over a bad flu week before) refused a blanket.  Tried to make me catch bus home, ended up curled up in a ball in the corner of station banging my back on wall repeating over and over I can’t catch the bus.  left for an hour in even colder part of police station at the front desk.  Cowering from people who walked past, head down, rocking and whimpering that I was cold and wanted to go home.  Go home to a flatmate who didn’t speak and not able to tell any of my friends or family what had happened.  Having no counsellor, social worker, psychologist etc I could tell either.  I did tell my doctor but she ignored it.

Also police have not acted on my complaint of assault by High Court Security in July 2016 when violently detained for wanting to attend court case of Tony Ellis taking government to court over Torture and Inhuman Treatment, which I tried to do and failed previous year, couldn’t get a lawyer and so wanted to see how to do it myself.

Just remembered another police thing where I was arrested at Police HQ earlier this year for getting angry and swearing during a marketing promotion about Its Not OK – went there and started yelling how it wasn’t OK to withhold health care, not have safe homes for people, leaving them with dangerous flatmates, make things worse for them, etc etc.  Usually I would have been 30 mins in police station, given a warning and let go – this time I was held in the cells for five hours to see mental health, who they know I am petrified of and just swear at, then let go.

My complaints to IPCA are also being ignored – apparently I make too many of them – I have made 6 complaints over 8 years (3 in past six months), as soon as I started making complaints things deteriorated with police in Wairarapa.  Police in Wellington nowhere near as bad, especially with the insults, degradation and way I am treated.

All of this I have experienced at the hands of police and I have done my upmost best to stay civil to those who are nice to me – even when I see the uniform and am overwhelmed by all the bad things people in that uniform have done.  So when Inspector Howard says I should not swear or be disrespectful of her officers anybody would understand why I find it extremely difficult and have ever right to talk to them the way I do when they are mean and disrespectful.

Sorry this post is a bit confusing, so many things have happened and I get triggered easily by having to recount what has happened.  Hopefully it shows Inspector Donna Howard and others what I have been subjected to for screaming for the professional health care I am entitled to from ACC (I have won two reviews and still get nothing) and protesting about mental health and justice services in New Zealand being abusive and violating people’s rights.

I find it extremely sad and soul destroying that Human Rights Commission and a multitude of justice and health agencies etc refuse to uphold my rights and protect me from this ongoing persecution – cause persecution is what it is according to definition in my Oxford Dictionary.  All this just so I can get the health care I am entitled to as a mentally injured abuse victim – if an intelligent 51 year old women who knows her rights can’t get professional care then NO MAN WOMAN OR CHILD will get what they entitled to either.  Of course our government, media and disgusting corrupt liberals in the VIOLENCE & ABUSE INDUSTRY will keep telling you it is OK to ask for help and there are heaps of care for people!

I live in sick sick country, in a sick sick world, that ignorant rich violent neo-liberal terrorists run.

Kia kaha to us all.

JR

 

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New Zealand Police Assault Day 2 & 3 Emails

 Mike (Masterton Police),

I have never done anything but be raped, hurt and beg for the care I needed and know I am entitled to.  I have never done a protest that wasn’t justified in a way that I know was reasonable in a civilised and just society.  I have never physically hurt anybody and never been hurt by a man until the rape & then police started hurting me for my protests.  I don’t understand, I know what the law says, I know ACC, mental health and the government aren’t following them, I know that is hurting disabled abuse victims like me and I don’t understand?  I don’t want to live this revolting life – if I can’t work I don’t want to live and yet your officers are saying this is my fault.

I’ve told you before my OT in 2009 and I had just started working on doing some role playing around going for a job interview – that’s the reason I can’t get a job.  After the abused child/man who raped me was found not guilty even when he admitted I was asleep when he started the assault my psychy couldn’t deal with it – its called overwhelming trauma.  So I became phobic of going for job interviews – I did try and do some things myself but everything failed because I got too stressed and couldn’t cope.

OH LORD I WISH I WAS DEAD – SHOT WITH A BULLET RIGHT THROUGH THE HEAD – Google it and you’ll see the rest of the lyrics – which according to your police officers are all lies and I’m offered heaps of care but refuse it. WTF.

Please don’t send them here again, I’m not going to kill myself but I know the next few days are going to be bad – really really bad.  My mother text me yesterday angry about me not going to my uncle’s funeral when everybody else was there.  Do you know how many family events I have not be able to go to since I was raped, the person found not guilty and ACC etc refused to provide me the treatment care and rehabilitation I am entitled to under law?  Did you know my family would never let me look after my nieces and nephews, yet they keep telling me how great my own children are.

Crying – wish I was dead, looking at the bruises and swelling on my hands from yesterday for chalking a swastika on the Carterton police station.  I would suggest you do some research into WWII and the creation of UN and human, civil and political rights – I have. :-((((((

Sincerely

HUMAN SEWAGE

______________________________________________

From: JR
Sent: Sunday, 7 August 2016 10:55 a.m.
To: SUTTON, Michael
Subject: Don’t want to get officers into trouble & more pissed off with me – just want this hatred & resentment to stop 🙁

Just want you and them to promise they won’t hurt me like that again – to realise what I do is just chalk and words – its non-violent and its real.  I don’t insult the police in my protests I beg them for help and challenge them for not upholding the law for everybody rich and poor.

_____________________________________________________

From: JR
Sent: Monday, 8 August 2016 7:21 a.m.
To: SUTTON, Michael
Subject: Further to what happened on Friday

Mike,

Lost the plot yesterday about what happened on Friday, couldn’t stop crying, ended up at Emergency at the hospital because I didn’t have the money for the after hours doctor.

Went there to get all the bruises recorded, especially the ones on tops of my hands, recounting what happened caused a severe trauma reaction.  While waiting for the doctor alone ended up curled up in a ball (foetal position) in the corner of the assessment room, eyes closed and fingers in my ears as I couldn’t handle all the stimulation and it was only way I could calm myself.  Rocking sitting on the side of the bed wouldn’t do it.  Have to have a wall behind me – same position I ended up in at the police station in Masterton, after Alan had finished threatening me and giving me a hard time.

Doctor was a really nice Middle Eastern man – he knew exactly what was happening and was very nice to me – he was also upset when he realised it was the police that had caused this.  I’m sure when he came to New Zealand he thought he had left behind this sort of violent behaviour by those in authority over powerless citizens.

I am still in shock about what happened  – those two officers completely lost it, the Maori officer is a bully and I can’t imagine the damage he is doing in the community.  He was the one I made the complaint to about High Court Security – can you please ensure he is taken off that case immediately.

Also who instructed those other two officers to come to my house and try the Misuse of a Telephone charge again?  Those officers were not aware of Dr Alan Doris’ report about my behaviour – why not – you have a copy?  ACC and police cannot use the law to persecute a disabled person fighting for their rights to health care and justice.  Especially when they have been driven ‘mad’ with medical neglect and illegally denied health care they are entitled to.  The ticking I suffer from is related to the tourettes type disorder I have developed due to what ACC have done (or not done).  ACC have been told this by Dr Doris, they followed his advice and ignored all the swearing until I asked for a recording of ‘how unwell I had become’ under the Privacy Act.   When they thought I was going to take them to court they USED police and an insignificant minor charge to further persecute me by dragging me through court.   I have the email if you want to see it, my lawyer certainly will be.

I am also still in shock at all the things officers said about being offered care and refusing it – that’s not how it is at all.  If I had been given the professional care I am entitled to under ACC, health, disability, imperial, human rights and bill of rights laws then I wouldn’t be in this situation would I.  If I had had my rehabilitation from 2009 reinstated as required by two ACC reviews then I wouldn’t have ZERO services, be highly suicidal/unwell and protesting with such passion – would I, this is my life we are talking about – this is what I am fighting for.  Pretty sure one thing you and others realise is I’M NOT STUPID – I have NO services, not even a counsellor because ACC refuse to accommodate impairments related to my disorder.  They create barriers to accessing anything, ask Jenny Kirby why I can’t see her at the moment.  They refuse to apply a professional rehabilitation model in relation to my care just choosing random disconnected ideas that I am unable (because of a deterioration of my mental injury) to act on, they know this, because I email them regularly, and they do nothing.  ACC are corrupt and criminals under Sections 150A 151 155 and 157 of the Crimes Act, plus Crimes of Torture Act – I know it and I’m sure you know it too.

Today is the last day for submissions on New Zealand’s adoption of the United Nations Optional Protocol on Rights of People with Disabilities.  ACClaim Otago are fighting to get this in place as it will mean disabled people like myself can make complaints to the United Nations when our government violate the Declaration on Disabled Rights.  Why do you think an organisation set up to fight ACC is doing this?  Because they know as well as I do ACC are corrupt and criminally negligent in their dealings with mentally injured people and others.

I would suggest to save me the trauma and you the embarrassment we have a meeting and sort this stuff out before greedy lawyers get dragged into it and we take up court time and taxpayers money trying to protect ACC when everybody knows how corrupt, negligent and cruel they are.  Police are there to uphold the law, not be used by corrupt, criminally negligent, abusive government agencies to BEAT ME BLACK WITH BLUE.

The power Bill of Rights and Human Rights laws give me seems to be extremely difficult for some of your officers to handle.  I am a disabled non-violent Civil Society Actor as defined by the United Nations – please read the UN documents that give me this status and understand the role people like me play in society.  Please also note the rights I have to be challenging and cause offence if the situation warrants it – which also justifies my behaviour towards ACC – even when I can’t stop myself from doing it.  I am sure the people who established these guidelines were well aware of human behaviour in the face of injustice, discrimination and tyranny.

Along with the above as defence I will be providing ‘religious/ethical/cultural’ evidence that people born in the Year of the Dragon (Taniwha) are prone to not handle stress well and the need to ‘breath fire’ when suffering or seeing injustice around them or they develop psychoses.  We are here to hold a mirror to society and have strong ethical and moral beliefs that drive us.

Not sure if I have told you but have been in contact with the OHCHR (Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights – pacific region) in Fiji who protect NZers rights – what has just happened with police is just more proof International human, disabled, civil and political rights are NOT being upheld in New Zealand.  Chalking a swastika on a police station in chalk that is easily removed is hardly cause for physical assault, especially after the person has just experienced the type of discrimination, degradation and insults I had.

Will send the complaint to IPCA, just for their records, it is them refusing to follow up the other cruelty and intimidation of officers and use of the law against me that has caused this situation.  I AM NOT THE ENEMY, I AM NOT A CRIMINAL, I CARE PASSIONATELY ABOUT PEOPLE DISABLED BY MENTAL INJURY AND THE FACT THEY ARE NOT GETTING THE PROFESSIONAL CARE THEY ARE ENTITLED TO AND HURTING THEMSELVES AND OTHERS.

Kia kaha to us all.

JR

Civil Society Actor

HUMAN SEWAGE