I want to say so much on this page, I want to scream and yell that 99% of the garbage you read about suicide is just that – garbage. Neo-liberal garbage, when all over the world one of the first things neo-liberals do when they take over a country is shut down mental health services and make sure these disabled people are homeless. This of course causes all sorts of harm in society, which in turn creates jobs in the security and justice industries.
If people were getting health care they are entitled to then why am I terrorised by police – under authority from #suicideprevention ‘EXPERTS’ advice?????? Why am I being denied mental health care I am entitled to – why have media censored and refused to publish what is happening to me all these years???????
Why am I in court for Misuse of a Telephone – which ACC demanded – for screaming for help when I was really unwell. They then dropped the charges but six weeks later did a new set of charges? Which I was really upset about, responded by using chalk pen on police station window and was consequently violently assaulted for it.
Why have I been fighting for 15 years since I was raped to get the health care I am entitled to under ACC and multiple other laws? Why are so many laws that protect vulnerable disabled powerless people against abuses of power being violated and the agencies supposed to protect us are NOT DOING IT. Which is why I protest a lot at Human Rights Commission, etc. Both who had police sent to my home yet again to terrorise me and serve me a trespass notice for putting up art in their offices.
The reason suicide prevention is so bad is its suggestions are mostly from family members – family members who obviously DON’T KNOW how to help someone who is suicidal – so why do they get all the say in suicide prevention. AND I KNOW THERE ARE GOOD FAMILIES WHO REALLY CARE BUT FROM MY EXPERT ANALYSIS I WOULD SUGGEST 80% of families are shit – are the cause of the person being suicidal, are going through shit – are overworking and under-living due to necessity, or overworking and ignoring their family members due to greed and so many nice things to buy or overseas trips to go on.
Listening to Labour and National spouting rhetoric about mental health triggers me badly after years of the same lies – lies – lies and more lies.
Now we’ve got some other tossers running a suicide-prevention charity – this is run by UNIONS and workers in mental health – the majority of whom are abusers & covering up abuse by colleagues and management.
I have done EVERYTHING legally possible to make formal complaints about abusive and unprofessional mental health care – I am ignored – all of it ignored. The people ensuring this nightmare of hell for me and soooooo many others are from two camps. Those who hate disabled poor people and think they are a waste of oxygen – lots of suicidal people get told that – especially by health workers (doctors are great at it). The other camp are the do-gooders, they just don’t believe living environments, poverty, discrimination and health care is that bad in New Zealand that it drives people to suicide. They still believe we should bring in refugees from other countries – when we have 10,000s terrorised refugees in this country – just because they don’t see the war in the darklands – means it doesn’t exist. NZ media play a huge part in cover up just how bad mental health services and our country has become.
Still reading MAx Harris’ book The New Zealand Project – meet him recently & we talk on twitter. He’s right with most of what he is saying, the thing he gets wrong is neo-liberalism was actually illegal. – its the basis of our most basic laws. Like I keep saying, Westminister Statute the First and Magna Carta – they also violate multiple criminal laws – when you don’t carry out a contractual or legal contract and that results in harm to someone then you are a criminal. That’s what ACC do, that’s why our government do, they know what they do because I write to lots of them.
I hate elections, its when all the really revolting haters in our media come out and get even more abusive towards poor people. Whenever I watch international media talking about neo-liberalism in other countries I can’t believe it – what’s happening in NZ is happening everywhere these terrorist scum go. And what makes me most upset is New Zealand has been the country LEADING the neo-liberal and globalist charge more than any other. We are the most stupid, we are the most corrupt, we hate our disabled and poor the most, we have least compassion, we have the most corrupt/ignorant/naïve justice agencies, we drive children to suicide and then govt blame communities. We have communities saying they care about suicide and yet terrorise people like me who are suicidal and speaking out before we die.
I know this doesn’t sound good, but I’m feeling really bad today and have yet been disappointed by Ministry of Health and legal system. Apparently when they exposed that I wasn’t in fact getting services as police had been told, that I would have access to care – but that was weeks ago and nothing has happened – nothing will happen I am sure.
The thoughts of self harm are really bad, I was doing so well until a week before the court case, then everything got much worse. I feel OK but my behaviour is bad, smoking continuously which I hate, the thoughts of self-harm are really vivid, knives slicing up my arm – I have to contend with randomly all day. Little control over my eating, every minute of the day I try not to eat, my weight has skyrocketed. I know I’ve got diabetes I feel sick all the time now – I can’t see a doctor – because I don’t have one. The one I did have was abusive and believed what mental health and ACC had said – the same people who told police I didn’t want care and lots of people had tried to help me.
Bulimia is bad, my incontinence is bad (was supposed to have tests 3 years ago but no mental health worker to go with me – so no tests – just humiliation and degradation of pissing myself regularly.
I get some good health professional supporting everything I am saying and asking for, then I get local health workers doing exactly the opposite and getting police to terrorise me on top of that. Turn up in the middle of the night for a welfare check – knowing you are unwell. Violently arresting you 8.30pm Xmas Eve for phoning health line because I was sick with flu and distraught that I had to move again and was getting no services. I was so traumatised by that arrest I have nightmares about it – the degrading behaviour of officers and mental health services – well – like I said there should be criminal charges laid.
then of course you could talk about years of police telling their wives and families I was a nutter and not to let their kids at my house. I have two well adjusted daughters 22 & 23, EVERYBODY says what a credit they are to me, they both work – they didn’t turn out like that by accident – no matter what people say. Because I had studied enough to know my disorder (Complex PTSD) and the damage it can do to future generations I protected them from my dysfunction and best I could.
So many people I meet agree with what I say about mental health, ACC & justice services – so many are abused women who then get their children taken off them because they ask for help.
I can’t go on, what’s the point, I’ve said what I have for years, nobody listens, the wrong people get the power and they do even worse to terrorise suicidal people. Every one of those people responsible for the abusive suicide prevention terror refuses to meet with me, refuses to listen to anything I say about what ACTUALLY happens in the real world with their ignorant bigoted policies.
For years I have protested around Parliament, sung, recited poetry and begged for help – I was ignored – because apparently you are not allowed to get angry. If you are being persecuted to get a voice you have to be passive and quiet – not allowed to be angry, not allowed to expose the most vile govt corruption and abuse.
NEW ZEALAND IS THE NEO-LIBERAL SHIT HOLE OF THE SOUTH PACIFIC. Neo-liberals drove 10,000s of people overseas to find work, ripped families apart, for what? So they could make rich people rich and make money out of the disabled and poor they terrorised for their religious beliefs – because neo-liberalism is now being called a religion – and if you think about the hatred that spews out of the mouths of the richest and those who hate poor – then you know its true.
Those haters of poor – like Bill English – who called everybody on long-term welfare, addicted to it are the cause of the suffering and suicide in NZ.