Big day protesting in Wellington yesterday had been chickening out for weeks about doing it – but mental health was getting worse and worse I just had to let of steam about what Ministry of Health staff were doing.
Their refitted building now includes a fancy new café and security system to keep out us citizens. Had a good audience for my rage, around 40 people around the foyer, it was lunchtime, about 12.45. A small group of around 5 women tried to calm me down and did all the usual bullshit about having a cup of coffee. I was having none of that shit, I only got 10 mins before police arrive, so I’m as loud as I can be. Wanted the police arrive to me singing and they did – Human Sewage.
I bollocked the fuck out of everybody there, called them murderers, told them they were killing my kids friends – driving them to suicide. Screaming at them, hysterical, but the volcano had to go off some time. I’m just speaking for me and all those I know who are unnecessarily suffering in this neo-liberal shit hole. I talked about all the people I know who have committed suicide.
The looks on their faces was one of either guilt or complete refusal to take any responsibility for suicide and abusive mental health services.
Refused to leave the building, refused to stop yelling at them about why I was there so was arrested for Disorderly Behaviour, appropriate considering I have a stress Disorder. Was best out of there anyway, I wouldn’t have stopped and the swearing wouldn’t have either. Police were nice – two of them I already knew – I have am definitely infamous in Wellington for protesting.
Didn’t’ have to spend any time in the cells, was out of police custody within an hour. Cried from when I was put in the police car, snot everywhere, was revolting. Officer told me it is now a requirement to have handcuffs – just like America (were his words, he was an old cop, he knew it was shit for someone like me and completely unnecessary.
Got really upset several times, started ticking and rocking, backed up into the corner, when they asked questions about my doctor – when I don’t have one and the last one I had didn’t believe a thing I said. Told them I had Complex PTSD, Sgt was bit of a jerk, telling me not to go back there or do anything else that had police called or I would spend night in the cells – WHICH I HATE – and is an illegal threat – given I hadn’t broken the law under Bill of Rights.
Gotta have a laugh with them though, threw all the laws I know at him, not me who’s the criminal – they should be charging the people at Min of Health and ACC that were denying me care I was entitled to. Told him to charge them under Sections 150A 151 155 157 of the Crimes Act. He ignored me of course. They know I’m right that’s why they’re nice to me and let me go.
Left, had a cup of tea at Library Café next door and went off chalking and to meet up with a friend. Chalked my poem MOH at Maui’s Garden and a good quote about poverty being a crime.
Was interesting watch police dealing with me, obviously there has been a bit of a discussion about how to legally. Only got the Pre Charge Warning and let go – under Disorderly Behaviour, Sgt repeated several times it was not to be under Wilful Trespass (which I am up on charges of). Was also issued two more trespass notices from Ombudsman and Human Rights Commission – WTF – they’re not allowed to use Trespass law to stop me protesting. I was reading the judgement by J Williams.
Apparently I’m trespassed from about 15 different places LOL – all places who are supposed to legally help me and don’t, or who have made public comments about poor people etc. So much for freedom of speech in New Zealand – if artists are being arrested you know things are bad.
Big shout out to Wellington Police – no comparison to the several violent arseholes that work in the Wairarapa. I mentioned that to the officers who arrested me, a woman and man (the woman had arrested me before, I remember her). They were nice and agreed not all officers are good people, I told them Q Hoera was a violent arsehole.
Told the Sgt wouldn’t be long and there would be 100 people like me occupying and protesting in government and justice buildings. He didn’t look happy, I said he should be cause I was a non-violent activist who respected police that respected me and my rights to be angry about what was happening to so many.
Going to be making a legal complaint about the number of trespass notices when its a violation of my civil and political rights. Non-violent protest, even if it is offensive (eg swearing) is a right I have under Civil Society Activism. If I can’t get my justice issues in front of a judge, as required under Magna Carta, then I HAVE EVERY RIGHT to speak truth to power of those hurting me – AS OFTEN AS I CHOOSE TO – without threat of intimidation.
Was watching TV and saw the first adverts for latest Sunday programme on TVNZ which exposes police being used as mental health services, while they blocked me from their email & social media for BEGGING them to tell my story & protect me from persecution by police while I am denied mental health/ACC care. Earlier in the night I had been listening to the radio and adverts by Wairarapa National MP Alastair Scott saying how much he enjoyed hearing peoples issues and helping them while he refused to see me or help me with what is happening to me. Along with repeated adverts by Stopping Violence Services who have never replied to the desperate message I have left on their answerphone.
I had to write otherwise I will kill myself tonight – I couldn’t cry like I wanted to, had to hold back the wailing cry I want to do because I know I would never stop and this would also have meant I would kill myself. You never really get used to being suicidal due to neglect by your own government and being illegally denied the health care and justice you know you are entitled under multiple NZ laws.
As my research has uncovered the PTSD I initially had after the rape has turned to Compounding Complex PTSD due to ongoing trauma & neglect. CPTSD is extremely common in New Zealand but being misdiagnosed and covered up by govt & health professionals, as things like depression, personality disorder, bi-polar, attention seeking, lazy etc. It wouldn’t have got to this if I had received the care I was entitled to but left untreated and added to by ongoing trauma due to lack of safe stable housing and being left disabled and vulnerable in our revolting community has left me a shell of my former self.
Sunday hurt the most when they do stories on OTHER PEOPLE regarding mental health but NEVER ME, never what I know, the laws being violated, never the persecution I am suffering at hands of corrupt police, who will do anything to protect what the government and justice agencies are doing to all disabled mentally injured abuse/trauma victims and mentally ill. David Rutherford (Chief Human Rights Commissioner) was right in his comments on bullying that the people those being bullied go to for help and ignore you, cause more distress than the bullies themselves.
I begged Sunday for help, begged them, told them police were being used as mental health staff years ago – I was ignored, discredited and degraded for it. There was no way my case was important enough or of interest to New Zealand public, no way exposing the FACT that people with mental health issues were suffering a gross miscarriage of justice after neo-liberals shut down vast majority of mental health facilities – not that many of these places weren’t houses of horror and torture for many of their residents. I seldom watch the show because it triggers all the time I have begged them for help and been rejected.
Triggered by all the times I have begged politicians for help, including all Wairarapa MPs for past 15 years, all ACC ministers, all ministers of health, all prime ministers, any MP that ever made a comment on mental health, suicide or ACC – hundreds of them. All sent letters and emails telling them that people with mental health issues were being persecuted and denied PROFESSIONAL health care and everybody was turning a blind eye to the persecution of an entire sector of society.
When you have studied the violence trauma and neglect industry you realise them psychologically torturing and rejecting you to save money, is done because of a bizarre neo-liberal cult-like belief that you should advance rich, disadvantage middle class and persecute those weak people in society if they can’t work or need help to work.
I cry and feel a waterfall of tears right behind my eyes, I get that often now, even when walking through town to get some exercise because I have been so unwell, become ‘frozen’ with trauma, havn’t thrown up enough (I am recognised as having bulimia but nothing is ever done about it, no matter how much I beg for help) and have put on a huge amount of weight that makes me feel BAD – really really BAD in so many ways. In 2009 when I had some care, that was illegally taken by National government John Judge and Paula Rebstock, I had a gym membership with some amazing support from the instructors, co-ordinated by my very professional Occupational Therapist Glenda.
I was supposed to get this reinstated but ACC continue to refuse 7 years down the track. I can’t think about how suicidal and dysfunctional I was after they dumped me, the 46 day hungerstrike and the lawyer who let me down so badly, took ACC to yet another review, which I won AND STILL I GOT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. This continual telling me I would get services then not providing them is why my mental health deteriorated and I now ‘go tourettes’ when badly triggered.
Thankfully I can keep the violence towards others under control with a lot of prayer and understanding of my disorder – I am sure soon the suicidal hell I suffer so often will take me. Why would I want to stay upon this earth if I can’t work and have to live in terror of homelessness, abusive flatmates and a cruel majority of my community in power who are unprepared to listen to what I know, say and experience. Yes I have a lot of supporters but what can they do, they can’t get me a house, they can’t force ACC or mental health to provide me professional health care. I don’t burden those I love or I they would be traumatised to and I’m not going to allow this to be passed to the next generation – like so many do out of ignorance and severe dysfunction.
From what I can see in the advertisement for Trouble in Mind they are going to get again cover up that under human rights and bill of rights laws our government is discriminating against and persecuting mentally injured and ill people. As I said in my Suicide Prevention Strategy it is a neo-liberal obsession that professional treatment and rehabilitation models are kept out of mental health services so they can create as many jobs as possible from HUMAN SEWAGE like me.
I cry because I know this is done on purpose, because neo-liberal terrorists are doing it in other countries and just like other countries our corporate media – who make a lot of money out of social dysfunction – are not telling the entire story and not pointing out the gross miscarriage of justice going on here.
When I think of all the times I have begged for help with what I know – that I set up this website and all my social media for – have dedicated my life to – how many men women and children have suffered, killed themselves, become violent or addicts because of these corrupt, criminally negligent, seriously disturbed people in government who prefer to spend taxes on cuts to top tax rates, MASSIVE govt debt interest repayments, building refurbishments, Saudi farms, charity to other countries, etc Nope getting distraught can’t keep telling this story, too many traumas come into my head and the suicidal hell becomes overwhelming.
Its late, I’m exhausted I’ll post this and maybe finish it later if I can – I hope and pray journalists at Sunday see it and contact me to tell my story, that they will ask why I am up on 7 criminal charges for screaming for help from ACC and using non-violent forms of protest to express my disgust and distress.
All those people they purposely killed, all those families they destroyed with their neo-liberal hatred, their corruption and violations of so many laws and everybody who was supposed to protect us sat back and condoned or participate in it. Because they were told if government persecuted an entire sector of society that was OK – THAT IS NOT OK.
This is what happens when those with money and unbridled power go completely mad.
I was a victim of government crimes in mental health, I was illegally refused mental health care and was harmed when mentally ill people terrorised and victimised me after and when in the care of mental health services.
Wrote these two emails this morning to my current criminal lawyer (court next Tuesday) and head of police in Wairarapa. So many years I have been screaming for help from our legal system – so many years suffering and my ‘normal’ life destroyed for a neo-liberal ideology that violates so many laws.
Sent: Thursday, 1 June 2017 6:41 a.m.
Subject: Auditor-General Report into Mental Health
I yet again ask police investigate my claims of harm under Sections 150A 151 155 157 of the Crimes Act after reading the latest Auditor General performance report into mental health that is dominating the news at the moment. You could also refer to the scathing one of ACC in 2014, which I was interviewed for, that also proves what I am saying is true.
Police are there to uphold the law NO MATTER WHO IS BREAKING IT – in fact I believe if it is government breaking it they have even more responsibility to do it because they are so powerful and in control of so many fragile, unwell, vulnerable and disabled men women and children.
Please I am begging you, just like I have begged people before you and been ignored. Ask Dr Alan Doris, Counsellor Jenny Kirby, WINZ case manager Tina Hemi if my health/behaviour has deteriorated – ASK ME I get better at hiding it from those I care about of course, because I don’t want to traumatise and upset them, but I know my mental health gets worse. I can’t even see my doctor any longer after she refused to deal with me accessing ACC/mental health care – blaming me rather than them……… I live feeling terrified because I am sick with bladder/kidney issues I should have had investigated years ago, but couldn’t get the mental health care I needed in order to attend – just like I need it to now see the doctor.
How proud you must be that police got to the point of physically assaulting me for my protests – because they have been told a bunch of lies about me being able to access mental health care and refusing it. What was happening is impairments that had developed because I could not get care then became a barrier to communication and services. THAT IS NOT MY FAULT – that is their fault. There is a way through this but they refuse to use it.
Woke up crying this morning, havn’t done that for a while, so so sad, the grief of knowing just how corrupt and criminally negligent successive governments have been in the area of mental health and providing professional health care and safe homes to live in for disabled people like myself. All for a neo-liberal ideology that advances rich and persecutes disabled poor.
Like I chalk on the street – “Police do not swear an oath to the government, they swear an oath to the Queen, who is head of a church, that believes in a book, that DOES NOT SAY protect the rich and powerful while they persecute the poor and powerless.”
Please, I am not delusional – reports confirm that – I am intelligent and just want to work and get help to work, get help to be played for the plays, songs and poetry everybody says I have talent for. There is so much I could have done and so much funding I could have accessed if I had had the required health care and professional rehabilitation. These people have destroyed my life and denied me right and justice. I just want to return to work, but I can’t while I’m living in such an unsafe and unstable home and HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES.
I went to University and studied health disability and rehabilitation I know what the government ACC/MH are doing is illegal, I know they are experimenting on people, I know they are breaking the law, driving people to suicide, harming so many people. I know police deal a lot with the consequences of criminally negligent politicians demanding government agencies deny people like me the treatment care rehabilitation and justice I am entitled to. I can show you dozens of emails and letters to ministers and politicians begging for help.
I just want to heal and go back to work, I just want to be able to communicate properly with my family, even though I will never make up for the 15 years I have been alienated from them because of my disorder and no professional care. I just want somewhere safe to live in my own community instead of feeling terrified at any time my landlord could decide to come back here and I would have nowhere to live. I don’t want to live with people are who are mentally ill, taking advantage of me, who wouldn’t be if I had the health care I am entitled to and should have been reinstated by ACC in 2010.
Things with police would never have deteriorated like they did if I had the health care I was entitled to under ACC, health, disability, criminal, imperial, human rights and bill of rights laws. Only police taking a case against ACC and mental health in my case would even up the power imbalance people like Justice Winkleman point out in public lectures! Please refer to the Law Society website.
NOTE: I will be posting this email to my website, so everybody knows I have begged for police to prosecute ACC/MH for years and been refused. Police know how much my mental health has deteriorated over the years, police believed that psychopath Curtis-Cody and ignored me when I was telling the truth.
Kia kaha to us all.
Civil Society Actor
HUMAN SEWAGE LIVING IN TEH DARKLANDS
Sent: Thursday, 1 June 2017 6:19 a.m.
To: Susie Barnes
Subject: Latest Performance Audit of Mental Health by Auditor-General
Woke up crying, havn’t done that for a while, still havn’t heard from you so don’t know what’s going on.
Did you see the news about Auditor-General report into mental health, more proof what I am saying is true. Except in my case I couldn’t get mental health services and was terrorised and further harmed by several of their clients who I had ended up living with. I can’t even tell you the situations because to recount them makes me to suicidal and want to self-harm. Because I was begging for help through all those episodes and received nothing!
I was interviewed for the 2014 Auditor-General report into ACC which was extremely scathing of them and the way they treated their clients. You should use that AS MORE PROOF what I am saying is true. I was always way more terrified of mental health services and what they were capable of doing to me than ACC. I was threatened on the street by Pathways staff during a chalk protest that I would be locked up under mental health act for telling the truth – I was terrified, could tell you details of that and prove that threat terrorised me.
I am going to write yet again to police and demand they take action over my complaints of harm by ACC and Mental Health under Sections 150A 151 155 157 of the Crimes Act. Have you been able to find a lawyer who can protect and represent me to get my ACC care back and a professional rehabilitation plan, plus a safe stable home to live in. Someone who can take a case of Human Rights abuse based on my disability, one of torture against the government for repeatedly making public statements that there is professional mental health care WHEN I KNOW THERE ARE NOT – NOT THAT I’VE BEEN ALLOWED TO ACCESS – because of course Andrew Curtis-Cody is a psychopath who makes sure I can’t. A lawyer who can take a case against police for allowing ACC and mental health to deny me health care I am entitled to, put me in harmful situations, break the law in regard to disabled people like myself and then spend years dragging me through court for legally protesting, etc.
When I think of all the times police have arrested me when they shouldn’t have (I’m ok with the times they should have). When I was held in the cells first time in my life for ‘trespassing on parliament grounds’ and I found out later there was already case law to say I could do it but someone from UPSTAIRS demanded that I be held – against the best judgement of the Sgt I was dealing with (cause I overhead the conversation). A serious violation of separation of powers and our democracy perpetrated by senior police staff. I was severely traumatised by that event and self-harmed in cells, still have pictures and still remember the morning before court rocking backwards and forwards on my bed for over an hour. Then the other time ………………. I don’t want to remember that either because of how traumatised I was by it.
Then of course there are the times I’ve been violently arrested, assaulted with handcuffs…………………..
I was thinking last night that in fact I don’t agree with Mike King saying the promises in the Suicide Prevention Strategy aren’t quantifiable. All that needs to happen is a good Occupational Therapist – like my old one Glenda, to make up a plan. I’ll have a go in next few days.
That’s really what an occupation therapist does, looks first at the outcomes the person and government want, then work backwards from their to ensure it happens using professional rehabilitation models. I studied them at university, I know they exist.
I also know by not using a professional rehabilitation model they are experimenting on people – and that is illegal under Human Rights Act and International law. I’ve written to ACC telling them this and saying I do not agree with being experimented on and to provide me professional rehabilitation immediately. Was ignored of course.
I will be emailing a copy of this to every editor I know, especially those I challenge on twitter – who have known for years what is happening to me and continue to censor what I know, say, do and how I am persecuted for it. When I get no response (as I have been ignored for years) I will then make a complaint to the Press Council about censorship.
Mike King is right they just write nice things but they never ever do anything about making sure these things happen – how could they, there are no professional services and most suicidal living in inhuman living situations, terrorised by govt and community – of course they suicide, its the only hope of getting out of this neo-liberal nightmare.
John Crawshaw phoned me about 5 yrs ago – 6pm one night after months of me begging him for help and telling him local mental health services and ACC were refusing me all care. He assured me I would get professional care I so desperately needed – stupid me had hope – that help never came and a suicidal person who has their hopes dashed is going to suffer some of the worst suicidal hell thoughts on earth. Of course in this shit hole if you’re suicidal and don’t kill yourself you’re a time wasting attention seeker – if you do kill yourself its a tragedy.
If there are mental health services then why am I up on 7 police charges, after ACC illegally withdrew all my care/rehab in 2009 (after National got in). Why have I had six charges for legally protesting dropped at the last minute by police since 2009, why have I been acquitted of another 7 legal protests about mental health? I was dragged through court by Wairarapa DHB for legally protesting outside DHB offices at Masterton Hospital – I was forced to represent myself and won. I’m entitled to compensation for what they did but told I need a lawyer to get it and I can’t afford one, letter from DHB about it was insulting and vicious.
You should read the transcript – judge Tuohy asked security guard what I was doing when he arrived – he replied singing. Judge said singing, really, mmmm. I didn’t handle things very well because I have a very debilitating stress disorder called Complex PTSD (look it up its extremely dangerous, most people suicide). Judge was nice though, he helped a bit – I won. One question I did ask was had security guard ever trespassed a protester before – he hadn’t – but was told to by this revolting woman from DHB office who demanded I was.
Why is my only criminal conviction in 52 years wilful trespass of the Law Society when I went there and refused to leave until I got a lawyer. Police arrived told me I was arrested, to pick up my things and we left – first time no handcuffs. Now I have to tell people who ask if I have a criminal conviction, its humiliating.
Current police charges involve misuse of a Telephone for phoning ACC screaming for my care to be reinstated after winning two reviews in 2010 and 2011 – I had waited six years and was becoming more and more unwell. I didn’t threaten anybody with harm but said I hoped and prayed God would hurt them as much as they were hurting me and all those other abuse victims I knew were being denied entitlements – women and children. I also have developed a tourettes type disorder so can’t help the swearing when I’m flipping out – my current case will have Dr Alan Doris as a witness on my behalf – he had already done a report for ACC saying I was like this and they should ignore it and give me care I needed. All ACC do is reports, they never give me the care, but mostly they refuse to accommodate communication impairments I now have when interacting with them.
ACC also only called police after I made a formal Privacy Act request for copies of the recordings I was making to ACC remote claims answerphone, I wanted to have proof of how unwell I was and how I was begging for help. I was told they didn’t keep recordings so I couldn’t have a copy, yet within 2 months they were using a copy of one of those recordings to demand police prosecute me for misuse of a telephone. The first lot of charges they dropped, then six weeks later they did it again – I had had them at my home so often for WELFARE CHECKS (all calls made by agencies I was begging for help from) about 18 months ago I started having nightmares and every car I heard in the street I panicked and had to look out the window to see if they were coming to get me.
One time they arrived at 11pm, I had been really unwell, was terrified being woken up, though some previous violent flatmates were coming to get me, when they said it was police I thought one of my children had died – I never slept rest of the night, what happened is on my facebook page.
I have been making submissions to committees and making formal complaints for years about how incompetent, unprofessional and abusive ACC and mental health are. Petitioned United Nations, spoke to their delegates, all ignored. They violate multiple laws as other pages on this website show. They deny people PROFESSIONAL HEALTH PROCESSES/MODELS – they’re illegally experimenting on people – and the only reason is neo-liberal terrorists don’t believe in helping terrorised abuse and trauma victims. All they like doing is making money out of them through justice/prison system and compulsory treatment orders.
Ever go into a home of someone with mental health issues and they’ll be taking boxes of drugs – as well as being really dysfunctional. Ask people who are into meds – they can rattle off all the drugs like professionals – which ones to take, which you never touch. Mark Unsworth is a top government advisor, runs a government Public Relations (spin doctor) business in Wellington, gloats about arriving in 1993 when MMP came in to set up his business. The man ‘was’ a very highly paid drug company executive, sent here to make sure drug companies took over mental health, instead of people getting the professional health models they were entitled to – not to mention the safe homes they are also entitled to under NZ law.
We still have forced ECT on people in New Zealand – ELECTRIC SHOCK TREATMENT has been stopped in most countries as its seen as inhumane – still doing it in New Zealand – and it doesn’t work, a short fix maybe but for the most seriously unwell nothing more than abuse/persecution.
Then of course there are all the abused women who not getting help, then have children, still not getting help when they are entitled to it under ACC law (please can media reading this read the IPRCA – ACC law – especially social rehabilitation and Schedule 1). They’re illegally having their children taken, I know several of them, it hurts my heart watching these poor women suffer like no mother should ever have to.
Ignorant bigoted self-righteous people in suicide prevention have created a system that strips suicidal people naked – to terrorise them more. Saw on working dog programme recently a police officer standing beside a suicidal woman curled up near a fence with dog in front of him barking at her – terrorising her. I’ve had the dog, completely freaked me out – I did some art about it next day, was terrifying, lead to a series of events I can’t even talk about or I’ll go to the knife drawer right now.) Next shot on the programme was them handcuffing her and stuffing her in back of a police car. Why are disabled suicidal people being treated like criminals? Something to do with Christian believing suicide is a sin – driving people to suicide is the sin!
I protest a lot – would have done 200 protests over the years since ACC illegally withdrew all my care and tried to kill me. Every interaction I have with police, they agree mentally ill people are not getting help they need and entitled to, which is why they end up dealing with them. Times I’ve been in the cells, so many mentally ill, some beating themselves against doors for hours, while officers try to calm them and say help is coming. I get CATT team called occasionally, just as punishment by those I am protesting in front of – I speak truth to power. Takes 5 hours before they get there, I start swearing at them, because I have been denied care so many times over the years I reject them before they reject me. They always leave and now most of them who come are foreigners – I can’t even get someone who is a New Zealander and I’m Pakeha.
One time I was watching court prior to my case coming up in 1 1/4 hours of the 12 cases I saw, 4 of them were mental health – so one third of people going through court are mentally injured abuse victims or mentally ill (note there is a difference).
Then of course there is me trying to get a lawyer to make ACC and mental health provide the professional services I know I am entitled to under ACC, health, disability, criminal, imperial, human rights and bill of rights laws. Like making a complaint to the courts about torture by the NZ government – was rejected by Judge Davidson, saying I was abusing the process. I have documents to show what I wrote – I did my best and begged for a lawyer to do it properly.
Months later I went into High Court where Legal Aid are based telling them I could not get a lawyer – I can get legal aid I just can’t get a lawyer, they’re all too busy or don’t have any experience in human rights law or don’t do legal aid. Was insulted and told I was a liar, that I obviously didn’t have a case if I couldn’t find a lawyer. Had my guitar on at the time and went stood in the corner singing, Why Am I Arrested For Being Disabled, playing guitar, when guard held my guitar so I couldn’t play I started reciting Wasps in the Beehive. A woman behind the counter was cheering for me, she knew what I was saying was true.
Police were called and I was illegally trespassed, next time I went back months later for Tony Ellis case against Attorney General and DHBs re torture of mentally ill men, I organised it night before with security because I didn’t want any hassles or anything happening that would set my disorder off. I went in the building multiple times before to go to the toilet etc but when I went to attend court so I could watch how Tony Ellis presented the case (I had intended going every day) I was assaulted and denied access. I was severely traumatised because I knew I couldn’t do it without this information, couldn’t get a lawyer and would continue to be persecuted and denied health care, continue to be left rotting on welfare and despised by most of my community/family, continue to live with suicidal nightmare of hell.
I have been making formal complaints of harm to police for around five years, saying ACC and mental heatlh violating Sections 150A 151 155 157 of Crimes Act – which they are. Police refuse to act and several have taken to terrorising and discrediting me, to the point of physical assault. At one point Mike Sutton of Masterton police said he would investigate – I just about fell off my chair. He came back two weeks later saying he didn’t know who to prosecute. I know he had been warned not to do it by the government and I pointed out ACC are a limited liability company and should be investigated and prosecuted just like any business.
My living situation has been the worst, all these years forced to move repeatedly due to landlords selling houses or poverty or being discriminated against. I always tidy up places I live and leave them better than I found them – and I ALWAYS get ripped off.
My living situation has been dire since my children left home, past 9 people I have lived with all ripped me off, taken advantage, stolen from me, victimised me and two have attempted suicide. One stalked me for months, was terrifying. You are not allowed to leave disabled people where they will be harmed its against criminal law.
I can’t go on – my stress disorder is compounding (complex PTSD) and every time I talk about things above I get flashbacks to being highly suicidal or severely traumatised by people or situations. I’m crying now, getting visions of knives slicing up my forearms and bleeding out, the knife drawer is only 30 steps away. How many times I’ve walked there – only reason I don’t end it is that’s what these neo-liberal filth want, they trying to drive people to suicide purposely, its the neo-liberal way.
I have reports saying I am intelligent, do not have a personality disorder and not delusional – until I see a report on people like Bill English, Jonathan Coleman, John Crawshaw and Alastair Scott that they dont’ have serious mental health issues with what they are doing and ignoring, then I know they are mentally disturbed. Years of neo-liberal propaganda advancing rich, disadvantaging middle class and persecuting poor, radicalised rich pigs who believe all poor people are that way because of their choices.
All I want is to get better and go back to work so I don’t have to live with mentally ill people who take advantage of me and hopefully one day get somewhere to live that I dont’ have to move from and can grow a garden and not be terrified of the next move. Landlords are a nightmare to deal with as I get really angry when I ask more than three times for dangerous things to be fixed and they ignore me.
There is so much more to my story, what is happening to me is illegal and Human Rights agencies just ridicule discredit and insult me when I beg for professional health care I am entitled to.
MMMM – still typing – how can media not know when neo-liberal Annette King drove 1000s of disabled people out of mental health facilities into a cruel callous hateful community – without the professional heatlh care and rehabilitation they were entitled to. We all know the community suffered because these people were too unwell and not getting help they needed – that’s when they started having beggars on the street. Mentally ill people have been in a housing crisis for 30 years – its only now its hit middle class media are saying anything.
We all know when these disabled people were driven out of facilities the prisons filled up – an officer arresting me once had been a prison guard in the 1980s, he said he watched it happen. According to NZ and international law you are not allowed to persecute people based on the type of disability they have………………………..
OH LORD I WISH I WAS DEAD, SHOT WITH A BULLET RIGHT THROUGH THE HEAD……………………….
LASTLY – please can a journalist with some compassion, intelligence and integrity interview me, I can’t do this by writing it all the time – I need to look in someones face – because I’m never allowed to look in the faces of those oppressing me and getting police, justice and mental health agencies to do it.
Also Andrew Curtis-Cody who runs adult mental health in Wairarapa is a psychopath and extremely mentally disturbed – everybody knows it, everybody tells me he’s a nut job and I know it. You should see him when he’s part of CATT team, no emotion whatsoever – psychopaths are attracted to mental health because they can have power over people, persecute them and get paid for it. He has been acting head for over a decade, because he is not appropriate qualified. My complaints to local DHB I get abused for, I am blocked from making complaints by email, I spent 4 years with a HDC advocate trying to get help to no avail. When I went to HDC and begged for help I was ignored – even though advocate said Code of Rights was being violated.
…………… why do so many people allow this to happen to me – even my current lawyer?
I know what’s happening to me is related to neo-liberal terrorism by rich against poor, its all about the violence industry, its sick and it must stop.
Going to Chelsea Brunton’s funeral tomorrow 🙁 it makes me really sad that I can’t get health care people like her and me entitled to by law, makes me beat myself up for not doing enough, not protesting enough, not being able to take my own case to court to prove what government are illegally doing to people.
Sent: Monday, 15 May 2017 10:17 a.m.
To: Alfred Ngaro MP
Subject: No housing crisis – are you completely mad?
I am absolutely horrified by your comments about housing when me and those around me (disabled poor people in Wairarapa) are living in constant terror of having to move yet again – and local newspapers are saying there are hardly any rentals for people moving to the area. YOu need to read up on the impacts of housing and food insecurity in humans and be assured the situation we are in is inhuman – that’s what happens after 30yrs of neo-liberal terrorism of rich by poor.
20 yrs ago Trust House (insulting name) took over state housing and never built another house, they charged market rents and for years drove ‘undesirable’ poor people out of the district. They built commercial buildings, funded extravagant sports events and protects, art and business.
I can’t go on I am so distraught about what is happening around me and watching people like you on TV saying everything is great when it definitely is not. Please meet with me, you need to see the distress human sewage like me are in. Disabled abused men women and children and mentally ill all suffering – you talk about social investment but we had that with housing, health care and welfare – our govt has taken away most of it because rich elitist people want all the money and enjoy the persecution and suffering of people they have made poor.
Also if there was any sort of social investment then ACC would have provided the professional treatment care rehabilitation housing and justice I am entitled to under ACC, health, disability, criminal, imperial, human rights and bill of rights laws – but they continue to refuse even after I have won two reviews. I won those reviews in 2010/11 – its now 2017 and I still have absolutely no care and am very unwell, most days are a living nightmare – if they won’t help me get back to work then I don’t want to live – if I can’t work and am forced to live in poverty with no hope for future – only a life of suffering and homelessness then I don’t want to be alive.
I’m going to a funeral for a young mum you drove to suicide last week – I knew her growing up, your party killed her, because you make people hate single mums and children. Devastating when Paula Bennett had all those perks and took so many off me and others. My kids have left home now – the continuous threats to have them removed from my care because ACC refused to provide professional parenting support or the social rehab etc I am entitled to can’t be used to intimidate and stop me telling the truth about what life is like in the neo-liberal terrorist darklands of hell in New Zealand.
I still can’t believe what you have said about housing when exactly the opposite is happening in the Wairarapa. How proud you must be at being the token brown man who hates poor and renters – bet you they pay you lots, stroke your ego lots and brainwash you with their neo-liberal terrorist beliefs. And you profess to be a Christian – more proof it is end of days for me. Of course you could repent and stand against your government about what elites are doing to bulk of NZers and especially disabled poor. That’s what Jesus would tell you to do – you would be surprised how he walks amongst the poor in the darklands – keeps people like me alive to fight this immorality and hatred.
Please meet with me, please you must know what is really going on – people are terrified which leads to even more violence, addiction and suicide.
Please God help me and so many others.
HUMAN SEWAGE LIVING IN THE DARKLANDS
We’re sick and can’t see a doctor
We’re sad and no help they send
We’re suicidal and wish we were dead
Cause this nightmare never ends
We’re refugees in our own country
We’re drugged when we can’t cope
We’re abused for being traumatised
Neo-liberals leave poor no hope
We’re marginalised and terrorised
We’re blamed for social ills
We’re persecuted and prosecuted
As the morgue and prison fills
After phoning Police Headquarters Complaint Investigation Unit about huge delay in dealing with police assault in August, I received a phone call from Insp Donna Howard who took over Wairarapa District earlier this year. What Insp Howard said to me yesterday (18/11/2016) is really pissing me off so I need to write about it, I will send the link to her as well. Towards the end of our conversation about police phoning me if they have someone phone them ‘concerned for my welfare’, she started saying I should be respectful of HER staff, that I shouldn’t swear at them. Told her since I was assaulted by one of HER officers I had little respect for them and how dare she expect me to after what they have put me through. I hung up or I would have started swearing and sent her an email, explaining briefly why I got angry.
Felt I needed to explain the backstory to my rage and disgust in police, especially in the Wairarapa where I live. Also my disability is Compounding CPTSD, so all the unresolved trauma police have caused builds up, which is why I was having nightmares and was so frightened by noises of cars in my street that police were coming to get me.
It was always a rule of mine not to swear at the police and I didn’t for years, even if several times I wanted to. My brother in law a Snr Sgt, he told me what to do, not to swear or say the P word. It wasn’t until they started being vindictive and mean, stripping me naked in the cells and demanding I remove my underwear even when I had my period; charging me with bogus minor crimes then dropping the charges at the last minute or losing the case (around 10 times since illegally ACC withdrew all my care in 2009 and I started protesting).
Taking me up to the cells when they didn’t need to, being violent and degrading (violently arresting me Xmas Eve 2014, refusing me shoes & a jersey when I was sick with flu). Basher insulting me at home, telling me if I was broke (and I was) that I should sell my furniture – furniture my friends had given me. Sykes gossiping about me around town telling people not to let their children come to my house because I was a nutter, another officer hiding a formal complaint over the Xmas Eve event. Then of course there were the repeated welfare visits (more than 50) which were embarrassing and my neighbours saw. Most officers were nice but ignored when I said about ACC or mental health refusing me services.
Then there was the late night welfare visit at 11pm earlier this year which was very traumatic for me. The welfare visit I was taken to Masterton and charged with Misuse of a Telephone for phoning ACC screaming to have my care reinstated (as I had done many times with no response).
My case manager had phoned April 2014 telling me my care would be reinstated as it was in 2009, I spent 15 minutes confirming this. All that happened was I had to do another traumatic assessment with Dr Doris in Auckland, had to catch plane up and back in 1 day, lots of things I had to pay for. I was very unwell and needed my care back it was psychological torture to be told it would be, telling all my family and friends it would be, then nothing happened. I still have absolutely no services and my doctor is hopeless – although she wrote to them weeks ago asking why my care was withdrawn and why it hasn’t been reinstated, just like other doctors have done, and had no response.
Years ago I discovered Sections 150A 151 155 and 157 of the Crimes Act, I know ACC are violating these laws and police have continuously refused to prosecute them. One officer did look into it but after several months of hope, told me police ‘didn’t know who to prosecute’ so refused to go any further (ACC are a limited liability company, my case manager, the CEO and Chair Paula Rebstock should have been charged – of course there needed to be a thorough investigation to identify others persecuting me but it was never done). So when ACC phoned and wanted me prosecuted for an extremely minor charge of course I was extremely upset with police – and why should I have any respect for them – they are supposed to uphold the law for me, protect people like me, not just rich and powerful at ACC (who are illegally refusing me and so many others disabled by abuse care and leaving me in harmful situations).
Then of course there are all my protests and the charges I have got off there, that should never have been taken and I told them that over and over again, that I was within my rights, under Bill of Rights laws.
Another vindictive mean thing they did was keep me in the cells overnight twice, where I broke down in the morning both times. First time was for breaching trespass notice for parliament – I was outside the building – after being told by police they wouldnt’ arrest me the week before, this day they did. I overhead one of the officers tell another that the order had come down from upstairs (because they wanted to let me go). My girls were 14 and 15 then and were left home alone. Also there was already case law that said people can protest on Parliament grounds even if trespassed previously.
Next time was week before Xmas 2014 I violated bail conditions and did a protest at Justice House, I was very unwell, singing, reciting poetry and had my naked torso painting. I didn’t know I would have to stay and was really upset, was told by police a lawyer couldn’t get me out – found out that was wrong. Because I have mental health issues they are not allowed to hold you in the cells for longer than six hours – I’m sure the cop didn’t know BUT I should have seen a lawyer.
Also was arrested for not appearing in court – because I couldn’t afford to get there and was traumatised by what had happened in 2013. Police waited two weeks then picked me up 8am 2 January, a public holiday and my birthday, which they knew. Initially was angry and traumatised by this, then couldn’t stop laughing on way to court – the shear stupidity and vindictiveness of police was laughable. Had my kids home for a visit, had a day of things planned I had to delay for three hours. Other person seeing judge that day was a man who had beaten up his partner and wanted to get out of the cells. I had done nothing but a non-violent protest begging for my health care to be reinstated by ACC so I could get back to work.
Then of course there was the violent arrest during the Rugby World Cup where I had been protesting outside ACC building and police were called. I had vented and was really angry but ready to leave when police arrived (I never threatened anybody with harm but called them maggots and swore at them several times). One officer went inside to talk to staff and one stayed with me and refused to let me leave – other officer came out without speaking and slammed a handcuff on my right wrist. I freaked out – my stress disorder – pulled away from him like I was being attacked onto the ground screaming in fear, my wrist still attached to his arm. Have been scared of handcuffs since and always ask, then beg, for them not to be used (nice police officers don’t use them). You are not allowed to arrest a person like that, you are supposed to warn them they are under arrest etc. I blame the Sgt who sent two young men to deal with a disabled female protester, as they were having to deal with violent rugby fans every night and just used same tactics on me – inappropriately.
Then of course there were the insults and discrimination that prompted me to chalk pen a swastika onto the Carterton police station. Telling me I was a liar, that lots of people had tried to help me – I just didn’t want it. Telling me I was protesting all the time and made it my job because I was mentally ill, again that I was a liar and nobody was being discriminated against or refused care they entitled to. That my protesting was a joke, that they weren’t scared of me like the others – which showed they were being vindictive. Threatened in very menacing way if I didn’t stop protesting my innocence and rights under law, saying I had just been assaulted and talking about ACC etc that I would find out just how mean and nasty the officer could become if he wanted.
Why would anybody be scared of me, I’m a single woman with a disability, no partner so no protection from a man, isolated from my family and most of my community – police have an entire force to back them up and they do rightly or wrongly. Not all police are mean, but those who aren’t are allowing others to do it and not saying anything -which makes them almost as bad.
Then the assault 🙁 then 3 hours of being held at Masterton Police Station, went into shock after the assault (had only just got over a bad flu week before) refused a blanket. Tried to make me catch bus home, ended up curled up in a ball in the corner of station banging my back on wall repeating over and over I can’t catch the bus. left for an hour in even colder part of police station at the front desk. Cowering from people who walked past, head down, rocking and whimpering that I was cold and wanted to go home. Go home to a flatmate who didn’t speak and not able to tell any of my friends or family what had happened. Having no counsellor, social worker, psychologist etc I could tell either. I did tell my doctor but she ignored it.
Also police have not acted on my complaint of assault by High Court Security in July 2016 when violently detained for wanting to attend court case of Tony Ellis taking government to court over Torture and Inhuman Treatment, which I tried to do and failed previous year, couldn’t get a lawyer and so wanted to see how to do it myself.
Just remembered another police thing where I was arrested at Police HQ earlier this year for getting angry and swearing during a marketing promotion about Its Not OK – went there and started yelling how it wasn’t OK to withhold health care, not have safe homes for people, leaving them with dangerous flatmates, make things worse for them, etc etc. Usually I would have been 30 mins in police station, given a warning and let go – this time I was held in the cells for five hours to see mental health, who they know I am petrified of and just swear at, then let go.
My complaints to IPCA are also being ignored – apparently I make too many of them – I have made 6 complaints over 8 years (3 in past six months), as soon as I started making complaints things deteriorated with police in Wairarapa. Police in Wellington nowhere near as bad, especially with the insults, degradation and way I am treated.
All of this I have experienced at the hands of police and I have done my upmost best to stay civil to those who are nice to me – even when I see the uniform and am overwhelmed by all the bad things people in that uniform have done. So when Inspector Howard says I should not swear or be disrespectful of her officers anybody would understand why I find it extremely difficult and have ever right to talk to them the way I do when they are mean and disrespectful.
Sorry this post is a bit confusing, so many things have happened and I get triggered easily by having to recount what has happened. Hopefully it shows Inspector Donna Howard and others what I have been subjected to for screaming for the professional health care I am entitled to from ACC (I have won two reviews and still get nothing) and protesting about mental health and justice services in New Zealand being abusive and violating people’s rights.
I find it extremely sad and soul destroying that Human Rights Commission and a multitude of justice and health agencies etc refuse to uphold my rights and protect me from this ongoing persecution – cause persecution is what it is according to definition in my Oxford Dictionary. All this just so I can get the health care I am entitled to as a mentally injured abuse victim – if an intelligent 51 year old women who knows her rights can’t get professional care then NO MAN WOMAN OR CHILD will get what they entitled to either. Of course our government, media and disgusting corrupt liberals in the VIOLENCE & ABUSE INDUSTRY will keep telling you it is OK to ask for help and there are heaps of care for people!
I live in sick sick country, in a sick sick world, that ignorant rich violent neo-liberal terrorists run.
Kia kaha to us all.
You’ve driven me to swear
Driven me and others to despair
You allowed the govt to not care
Torture degrade, create hate and fear
You’ve driven me to hate
Left me writhing at hell’s gate
Told me there I must wait
Want heaven’s door to be my fate
You’ve driven me insane
In your class war fucking game
They do the wrong, I take the blame
Your heads you should hang in shame
You’ve driven me to drink
To numb the pain so I don’t think
About Keys policies that truly stink
And their increasing NAZI link
You’ve driven me to yell
Denied the facts, why I’m not well
Burn here in the fires of hell
Fuelled by corruption of what I tell
You’ve driven me to scream
Give up my lifelong hopes and dreams
I want to die John Key’s so mean
Keep asking where my health care been