Tag Archives: human rights

Wairarapa Police The Devil’s Right Arm

In response to being assaulted with handcuffs by police last week.  I will be writing this on back of wallpaper and stapling up in Masterton and chalking around the streets.  Have asked for a meeting with the local new police inspector here and anybody else of a pay grade that can get an investigation into ACC etc under criminal negligence.

Handcuffs are not a weapon

Police are not there to harm

Freedom of speech is a right under law

Local police now the Devil’s right arm!

ReFuSe

Civil Society Actor report to New Zealand Govt for UPR of Human Rights

20 June 2018

 

Report by JR Civil Society Actor, Carterton, New Zealand.

 

Report to the NZ government to advise on their upcoming report on the UPR of Human Rights. Details of abuses of power and gross violations of human rights that deprive disabled mentally injured trauma/abuse victims from professional health care and necessaries of life.

 

The government knows what they are doing wrong, they perpetrate the abuses of power and corruption against people with mental health issues and people they purposely impoverished under neo-liberalism. I have sent so many reports, emails etc there is no need to tell you again. I will make that report to the UN directly during the UPR process. In this document I will outline those things in the area of justice and health that are essential to addressing serious violations of human, disabled and civil rights.

 

JUSTICE

After 15 years of study and assessment of why I am being denied health care and justice it has become quite obvious the justice system for poor people with health and poverty issues is grossly corrupted under the present extremist neo-liberal (note this is not capitalist) system. The lack of separation of powers in disputes between poorest citizens and the crown/their contractors has led to years of injustice, in health, justice, banking, insurance, tenancies, police, human rights, etc. The only way to rectify this situation is bring all decisions in disputes against the crown under the High Court (or its own superior court) system. All other disputes should be under District Court – no exceptions. The New Zealand government and affluent business people (rich & powerful) have proven they cannot be trusted not to abuse their position of power.

 

The power imbalances MUST BE ADDRESSED in regard to these disputes/injustices between rich and poor – laws to keep the peace – much of which has been lost under neo-liberal terrorism (please refer to Terrorism Suppression Act).

 

There must be a dedicated public defender human rights unit with the equivalent resources of NZ government lawyers such as Meredith Connell and crown law. The current system is set up to destroy the ability of lawyers in the community to adequately defend their poorest, most vulnerable and powerless clients against the most powerful – especially the government. We are supposed to be all equal before the law and have equal access to justice, it is a terrorist act to destroy resources to poorest sector of the local population. This injustice causes death and harm – which is currently happening to disabled people with mental health issues. Who are also those purposely impoverished under neo-liberal economic theory.

 

In the past six months I have been denied care by a psychiatrist, psychologist, Occupational Therapist and counsellor, even though I have reports saying my mental health is that severe I require residential care. The police and court staff would also be able to advise of how severe my mental health is when I start self-harming in the cells, or singing, crying, wailing. They will also be able to attest to the deterioration in my ability to cope during the court process – after being dragged through it repeatedly for over a decade – all for non-violent protests trying to get these services I am entitled to.

 

I have made formal complaints about all these health providers refusing me care. This has been happening to me for many years, but over the past 9 months I was encouraged to try to get services again by a senior official at Ministry of Health – he failed and I have come out worse off and more terrified/phobic/disturbed. When I spoke to the Health & Disability Commission about being rejected from these services a few weeks ago (I have been rejected by ACC Occupational Therapists for the past 8 years) without explanation, I was told THEY DIDN’T DEAL WITH ACCESS TO SERVICES. Which is what they always say.

 

They refuse to discuss anything after that about other people getting these services while I was denied them. I believe they are denying me this care to punish me for making complaints and protesting using my art. I have made multiple complaints to police about what is happening to me, senior officers refuse to investigate or take a prosecution against ACC, who have illegally denied me health care and caused me so much suffering and harm – destroyed my life, my family.

 

The solutions are on my website, as I have been telling the government for many years, since I wrote the business plan for Mental Injury Services and my rehabilitation model Fence At the Top Of The Cliff. These are what is supposed to be happening currently but is being denied the vast majority, if not all of those people mentally injured by trauma, abuse and neglect. www.jrmurphypoet.com.

 

Also on my website are two books of poetry, those poems are for the people reading this and those who caused so much harm to so many vulnerable and innocent people.

 

The health system must be brought back under government control – privatization has proven Marxist theory accurate in that it advantages the rich and ends in the persecution and alienation of the poorest. These private health providers (and public mental health services) cannot be trusted to provide the professional health care New Zealand commonwealth citizens are entitled to under law and expect in a civil society.

 

All housing of people with health and poverty issues MUST BE brought back under government control. The market DID NOT adhere to United Nations treaties and constitutional laws and the government have been corrupt cruel, incompetent and unjust in not providing these necessities of life for large numbers of citizens. They use illegal BUDGETS to deny and restrict services, disability services, housing, basic necessities of life to so many people – laws and treaties require ALL PEOPLE TO GET THESE NECESSITIES, not just a few.

 

It is a Crime under Sections 150A and 151 of the Crimes Act to not follow the law and as a result cause harm, criminal negligence. That is what has happened to me and is happening to 1000s of other mentally injured abuse victims like myself. It is also a crime to not provide professional mental health services and experiment on people – like they have done for years with psychotropic drugs on those suffering under their economic model that conflicted with professional health models and laws.

 

The market has also proven it cannot provide meaningful work for people with disabilities and again this requirement under international treaty and laws like ACC, health and disability must be provided BY THE GOVERNMENT WHO SIGNED THE TREATIES and must adhere to Rule of Law. As well as the added requirement to not act unethically and immorally under rule of a monarch that is head of a Christian church. Please refer to my website and postings regarding regional mental health facilities and regional rehabilitation centres. Where the things I learnt at university about professional treatment care rehabilitation and justice are actually provided in a dignified and professional way to all who need it in their local community.

NOW

In the past few weeks I have tested my theory about mental health and been proven right yet again. I have phoned new sexual abuse help line and other suicide help lines, as well as Geneva Health etc trying to get services and very upset. They all hang up on me, they tell me they are only there for people with mild mental health issues, not for people like me who can’t get services. They all suggest I contact Health & Disability Commission but I just got turned down by them last week for another complaint of discrimination by police on my file. They passed the buck to the Privacy Commissioner not knowing I had contacted him at the same time and he told me wasn’t his responsibility, they could say what they wanted.

Also been turned down by a counsellor who I was told was going to assist me in seeing a GP – I currently don’t have one and havn’t been able to see one in almost two years, I have other health issues (please help me I’m scared, other mentally ill people get support to go to the doctor, why not me?). He was going to help me get back the Occupational Therapist etc so my care from 2009 could be REINSTATED as required by two ACC reviews. The counsellor told me that wasn’t his role – but refused to tell me what his role was supposed to be or what ACC told him – I know he had read a psych report of mine saying I was unwell and needed residential care. I have emailed him and asked him what his role was under Privacy Act but have had no acknowledgement.

I have so many stories of discrimination and abuses of mine and others rights, so many I have sent to politicians, justice organisations, etc, all ignored. Sometimes I think writing to politicians etc just helps them work out ways to not give people justice, professional co-ordinated treatment care rehabilitation and safe homes.  Or perhaps avoid compensation payments to those they have harmed with their neo-liberal social experiment.

All this report on Human Rights abuses in New Zealand really wants to achieve is for the government to do what they say they do, according to professional health models, UN treaties and constitutional laws – why is that impossible in 21st Century New Zealand.

 

Kia kaha and aroha to us all

Neo-liberals calling their religion LOCALISM in New Zealand

I have just had a very disturbing telephone conversation with a man called Ron Shaw who lives in Carterton New Zealand.

He is head of a group that calls itself Wairarapa Heart and POWER TO THE PEOPLE, I was interested in going to their meeting after an advertisement in a local community newsletter.  I was concerned reading they were getting in Oliver Hartwhich from BUSINESS ROUND TABLE (now calling themselves NZ Initiative) who I have been following for over a decade. I know what they are and what they BELIEVE – and I know it is causing huge harm in society because the people who believe it are only wealthy affluent people who have very little REAL life experience.

NZ Initiative – Business Round TAble is what they used to be called was started by extremely wealthy international business people living in New Zealand in order to promote neo-liberal economic theories of privatization, less government, banking deregulation, free trade so foreigners could buy up NZ, charities running all health and social services for poor that were created.  They are what known as a RIGHT-WING THINK TANK – these people are deeply disturbed.  I have attended some of their meetings, was receiving their emails until I was blocked without explanation and have reports they put out and news items they make public.

So I phoned Ron Shaw to find out more about the upcoming TELEVISED meeting about POWER TO THE PEOPLE AND GO LOCAL.  I asked Ron if he knew who Oliver and NZ Initiative were and what they did – he said he did.  He then started raving on about how he was a BELIEVER in their ideas, he would have said the world BELIEVE and BELIEVER at least five times at the beginning of our conversation.

These religious neo-liberal terrorists are now calling what they do LOCALISM – according to them encouraging local people to deal with social issues the central government (following neoliberal beliefs) created is how to fix it. Oliver Hartwich is paid a lot of money by the richest business people in New Zealand – feel free to google their Business Round Table/NZ Initiative Board members and some of their public statements and the power they have in this country.  These people are not interested in needs of the poor whatsoever, their only concern is creating increasing wealth for richest in society.

When I said that I was a Civil Society Activist in area of mental health, inequality and neo-liberalism he became even stranger.  I had said about 3 sentences (after his rave about BEING A BELIEVER in neo-liberalism (which he refused to name as that) and he said I was RANTING.  I was taken aback because I had been especially conscious to remain polite and respectful.  I asked him if he knew he was a misogynist and told him how insulting he was being.  He just got worse.

When I started quoting him New Zealand constitutional laws and international UN treaties NZ was signed up to follow, along with social problems like world leading child suicide, violence etc he told me it was CLICHE AFTER CLICHE AFTER CLICHE.  I replied to him that quoting law and facts wasn’t a cliche and asked if he was mentally disturbed?

I said how neo-liberals didn’t believe in providing professional heatlh care and necessaries of life to disabled in the community and he replied with WHY IS THAT????  I said “Because Business Round Table introduced neo-liberalism to New Zealand and neo-liberals didn’t believe in health care or necessaries of life to be provided by government as required.”  He changed the subject and got more insulting.  Quite obviously he was a religious fanatic, like any of those violent terrorists around the world, just disguised in a cloak of western legitimacy.

He then said THERE’S NOT MUCH GOING ON IN YOUR HEAD, IS THERE    – yipes.  I still responded respectfully to that insult, as anybody who follows me will know I am an intelligent. well informed and well educated person and have reports to prove it.  I told him I had reports confirming I was intelligent if he would like to see them, he laughed maniacally – it was deeply disturbing.

I told him neo-liberalism was considered a religious cult by international news agencies and academics and his behaviour and use of language proved this to be correct.

He is running a televised discussion on LOCALISM soon and I am going to be there.  I can’t wait.  I am going to be sooooo cool calm and collected and I know the people opposed to me are going to look like raving violent lunatics – which of course they are – raving religious fanatics.

Many in this community discredit and despise me for a having disability called Complex PTSD, a stress disorder.  When triggered I can over-react and go tourettes, but I have never harmed or threatend harm to any person, nor have I LIED or TRIVIALISED what is happening to disabled poor people with mental health issues.    They don’t know me and the gossips have listened to the mental health & christian groups who have rejected me from services/help because they couldn’t deal with my disorder – not my fault, their fault.  They discredit, gossip and insult me to make themselves feel better about illegally denying me and many others health care and somewhere safe and stable to live.

Feel nervous about posting this as I am realising the extent of the power these neo-liberal terrorist nutters wealthy elites have – we’ll see what happens.  Its already started since our corrupted neo-liberal Labour government got into power.  Last week after I phoned Parliament very unwell begging them to have my health care reinstated and justice provided, their private security firm phoned police to do a welfare visit to my home – in order to terrorise me, no other reason.  Then they had my phone blocked from contacting parliament, any MP or minister.

The reason they did this is I talk to these new young receptionists answering the phones for these new LABOUR (supposed to be left wing) politciians and tell them a little of my story, they are rightly concerned and try and get me help.  This must be when they realise something is wrong with what they are being told is their job and rights of citizens phoning them.  They would then realise what is actually happening to people with mental health issues as a result of abuse and government neglect is different to what they have been told and their bosses are leaving people in inhuman living situations to be harmed & some of them cause harm.

I was also blocked by facebook for 30 days after making a formal complaint about a mental health worker insulting and abusing me on facebook.  Then a few hours ago Max Harris – who an extremely influential public figure at the moment – tried to have me blocked from twitter for telling the truth.

 

The evil of PASSIVE INACTION in New Zealand mental health – Abuses of Power

This email is to people I have been begging for help from for years (some more recent) the passive aggressives I call them (except my last lawyer Susie Barnes) and have had it confirmed they are evil and their passive inaction is too – the inaction of cowards and people who have blind faith in authority – which I do not and I’m no coward either.


From: Jayne Routhan <jrouthan@hotmail.co.nz>
Sent: Monday, 11 June 2018 4:30 PM
To: Ann Rice; Health & Disability Commission; Complaints ACC; HRRT; hrg@mfat.govt.nz; Human Rights Commission; info@cdc.govt.nz; SUTTON, Michael; Susie Barnes; Auditor General; Independent Police Conduct Authority; lawtalk@lawsociety.org.nz; Andrew Little; stuart.nashmp@parliament.govt.nz; carmel.sepuloni@parliament.govt.nz; Iain Lees-Galloway MP; Trevor Mallard MP; Tracy Adamson; Tracey Martin MP; ron.mark@parliament.govt.nz; kieran.mcanulty@parliament.govt.nz; alastair.scott@parliament.govt.nz; United Nations Association of New Zealand; Petitions OHCHR
Subject: The evil of passive inaction – Philip Zimbado

You people are evil and your systems are too, I do what I do because I am a hero until I die.  I became a hero the first time I was arrested for chalking a poem on a building in Masterton.  When the police officer told me to take my clothes & period soaked underwear & sanitary pad off so I could sit and wait in a short padded suit for mental health team with blood running down my leg for an hour.  I stood their speechless, something snapped and I said “I’ll fight you for them.”  Cop went away to talk to her boss and I didn’t have to remove them and I have NEVER REMOVED MY CLOTHES EVER AGAIN, EVEN WHEN DETAINED UNDER MENTAL HEALTH & NEVER WILL BE EITHER.  I have had it threatened a few times and I end up curled up in corner of the room screaming at them, they are sexual perverts  etc – they usually back off very quickly after that (I don’t do it purposely, its my extreme response when they suggest it, I am so terrified/degraded by what happened.)

After waiting for hours in a cell terrified and stripped of all dignity  (where I had never been in my life) the CATT team turned up .  Andrew Curtis-Cody came, he had been refusing me care for years and that day was no different so he went, said I’m not dealing with her, police looked at each other in disbelief because I was so suicidal and unwell.  After he left they told me to get my clothes back on and let me leave to go back to my car and home with no services to my two school age children – cruelty and evil.  (They pursued a charge of wilful damage for the chalk poetry for next three months before dropping them at the last minute, they have done that many times.)

I looked into this gross violation of my rights, demanding I am stripped naked, I was told it was only a policy and had not been put under Bill of Rights scrutiny – it was also done FOR MY OWN GOOD.  When you watch Philip Zimbardo talking about how evil is done in the name of good you can see how I (all people with mental health issues) ended up having my most basic rights  violated.  That’s what police always said when they came to my home for WELFARE VISITS (dozens of them) DUTY OF CARE required it- even when I wrote multiple letters begging them not to, telling them it terrified me more.  I even had a psychiatrist support what I was saying, police ignored it.  Those people sending them were in health, justice, media & welfare agencies, all the people supposed to help me were sending police to terrorise me.  I made criminal complaints to police under Sections 150A and 151 of Crimes Act, I was ignored – a crime is being committed and police are part of it – that sounds very similar to the abusive power systems in TED talk.

This ‘abuses of power’ information is over nine years old and other studies are much older than this – there are people in power in New Zealand who know mental health systems are abusive and do nothing.   I have known this information for more than a decade because once you understand human instinct – social psychology – it never changes, just like the physiology of a body doesn’t.  I have told 1000s of people what is happening and they have done nothing.  I cried watching this TED talk (which I hadn’t actually seen before surprisingly) I’m the hero and you are evil, I was right and you are wrong.  That can change if you listen to what I have been telling you and start doing something about serious abuses of power in mental health/justice system perpetrated against me and many other vulnerable mentally injured abuse victims.

I am sending this to many of those people who are legally charged with WATCHING THE STORE to stop abuses of power.  It is interesting what Philip says about Iraqui prison and how those in authority put NORMAL/POORLY TRAINED/PEERS into these positions knowing they had created an environment for abuse.  I truly believe from my 15 years of study and experience, there are people within New Zealand government/business community who DESTROYED (not reformed) the mental health system in 1980s to cause harm to both the community and those disabled by mental health issues.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsFEV35tWsg

 

www.youtube.com
http://www.ted.com Philip Zimbardo knows how easy it is for nice people to turn bad. In this talk, he shares insights and graphic unseen photos from the Abu Ghraib …

Watching this, absorbing it and trying my best to stop HATING and LOATHING all of you.  One thing Philip doesn’t understand, is how those staff in the mental health system are hired for the personality trait of PASSIVE INACTION and complete subservience to authority – no matter how many people are harmed.  SOOOO many people I have told my story, they have shown concern, then said they couldn’t do anything – they participated in this evil.  So many mental health prisoners who have turned on me and really hurt me.  The worst people have always been case managers at ACC and senior staff at mental health services – I truly believe Andrew Curtis-Cody is  a psychopath and I know many other people in our community do as well.

The way mentally ill people have/are being treated is evil and those who supposed to keep checks on those in power have completely failed, I believe to the point of criminal negligence.  That is why the idea that Ron Paterson – being a leader in charge of WATCHING THE STORE in relation to health care of mentally ill people is grossly inappropriate and should be removed immediately from the mental health inquiry.  In his position he violates the principles of Natural Law as he is definitely not unbias, especially when receiving $1400 a day on top of his history of failing to WATCH THE STORE.  He allowed the torture suffering and deaths of so many with MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES and often those around them.

It will all be in my report to the government on human rights for the UPR. The solutions will be in the report I do to the United Nations only – as I know how grossly corrupt ‘you people are’. I do not trust you, when I think of the suffering and harm you have caused and how you have all blamed us, the victims, the suicidal, the violent, the child abusers.  There is extensive evidence to prove women put in toxic inhuman environments without support and in the care of children will violently abuse them.  OUr government created that environment on purpose, refuses to provide support these vulnerable powerless women need, then looks mortified when we have high rates of child abuse.  And the stress men are under to provide when they can’t.  Due to requirements of neo-liberalism to have high unemployment and a terrified working class.

PLEASE  STOP IGNORING ME – THIS IS A CRIME – I AM SCREAMING FOR HEALTH CARE AND JUSTICE I AM ENTITLED TO UNDER NZ LAW.  I AM BEING HARMED BY NOT GETTING HEALTH CARE I AM ENTITLED TO – I AM BEING HARMED FOR BEING FORCED THROUGH JUSTICE SYSTEM REPEATEDLY – I AM BEING HARMED – you are persecuting and subjecting me to criminal/medical negligence.  I desperately need it to stop because I don’t want to die, I don’t want to be tortured and tormented until I’m driven mad,  I want to have somewhere safe to live, I want to return to work and not be treated like worthless human sewage just for asking for things I am entitled to by law – God’s and man’s.

Sincerely

Jayne Routhan
Civil Society Activist

HUMAN SEWAGE

PERSECUTED WHISTLEBLOWER

Why neo-liberalism destroys peace in civil society

Explained for Mental Health Inquiry team

 

7 June 2018

 

Mental Health Inquiry

Supplementary Report by Jayne Routhan

Dear Inquiry Team,

I have woken up two days after my report on mental health in New Zealand was sent and realise I havn’t given you my  ‘expert’ assessment of why neo-liberal economic theory is so destructive in society. Also why I am being persecuted, marginalised and psychologically tortured for standing up for my rights and justice in this area by health & justice providers, the community, friends and family (except for a few activists like myself).

Firstly you must watch two important experiments, the Cambridge Prison Experiment and the Milgram Experiment. These illustrate very clearly how people change behaviour dramatically when put in positions of power or subservience (guards or prisoners).   Also that 60% of the population will kill a person purely on encouragement from someone in authority even though they can hear that person screaming in agony (statistics that reduce significantly when the subject can actually see person).

Neo-liberalism is a failure because it creates too many unequal power relationships and when they become abusive/destructive to any person/group, law, morality and ethics is seen as a threat and persecution is the result.

I was deeply disturbed to find out only yesterday that Eric Crampton, who works for the Business Round Table/NZ Initiative (drivers of neo-liberalism in NZ), is now teaching a paper at Victoria University called PUBLIC ECONOMICS. An extremist, who has insulted and discredited me several times when I phoned him trying to discuss the damage this neo-liberal obsession is causing. The course outline begins by saying he teaches how to fit government into the new world economic environment – rather than what is supposed to happen that economic approaches are in line with civilised governments that have strict rules about treatment of citizens – via laws like Commonwealth Charter, Westminister Statute 1st, Magna Carta, Declaration on Human Rights and Economic Social and Cultural rights etc.

 It needs to be made very clear governments and laws were created to KEEP THE PEACE – to stop the continuous injustices and violence (uncivilised behaviour) the strong perpetrated against the weak. It is one of our most basic instincts as animals and in 21st century ‘civilised’ society it creates the most horrendous cruelty if allowed.

Governments and laws were not created to advance the strong/rich/powerful and persecute the weak/poor/powerless. In a civilised just democracy majority rules, HOWEVER majority does not get to use government and laws to advance the rich and persecute the poor – which is what they are doing (which has been accelerated by the adoption of neo-liberal economic theories).

Inequality in and of itself is not a violation of human rights HOWEVER it is a gross violation of human rights to take a country from one of equality, where the poor are cared for as is their right, to one of inequality where the poor are purposely persecuted and wealthy are advanced. I would be very pleased to participate in any recorded public debate on this topic, at any time, with any legal academic ‘expert’ on this planet!  Countries like New Zealand that were once far more caring and willingly compliant to United Nations international treaties/laws.  We lead the world in caring for those less fortunate – now we lead the world in child suicide, self-harm, family violence & homelessness.  I lay the blame for this at the feet of our legal profession, that third arm of democracy that is supposed to prevent the legislature and executive from persecuting citizens.

‘The majority’ are also not allowed to violate RULE OF LAW, most significantly constitutional laws that give power and protection to the weak and restrict abuses of power by the strong. At some time in our history people have understood this and defended constitutional laws with righteous devotion of a religion (which I do). Now neo-liberal terrorists (terrorism as defined by NZ laws I have read) manipulate, denigrate, discredit and complicate these laws so they can continue with their experimental/destructive economic theory. A theory which of course significantly advantages the strong/rich/powerful and disadvantages the weak/poor/powerless.

Not only does New Zealand government violate rule of law they change laws so they can advance rich and disadvantage poor – as I show on my website and can be seen in my treatment over the past 15 years (since I was mentally injured in a sex crime and refused health care I was entitled to and needed). Which is why it is still imperative I get a lawyer, justice and my day in court for those injustices I have suffered to be addressed in a court of law.

The failure of neo-liberal economic theory as a way of running a country/government is obvious in the increasing violence, injustice, addiction, suicide and poverty New Zealand and other neo-liberal countries are experiencing. While those who doing well and in power are firmly focused on others who are doing well and are in firm denial of the harm neo-liberlaism is causing.  That is why trying to FIX the dysfunctional victims of this violence and harm (which is ongoing for 20% of the population) does not work. You can’t heal someone in an unsafe environment, under constant stress and you definitely can’t get them to BE RESILIENT and do it themselves.

It is my opinion from my 15 years of study, there are a group of extremist elites (the strongest) who understand what neo-liberal policies do to weakest in society. They continue promoting neo-liberalism BECAUSE it drives least fortunate of ‘us poor peasants’ mad and creates 1000s of jobs, generating $billions in mental health, drug company profits, justice, security. Jobs and money they needed to generate when they drove 100,000s decent manufacturing jobs out of New Zealand into the hands of other countries with few human/workers rights, jobs we once had.

Humans have been making their own shelter, clothing and food since the beginning of humans, we were never created to be sub-servient to other humans – we are equal, just like Christianity and our legal system tell us. The massive increase since 1970s in SERVICE jobs, RENTAL properties rather than home ownership, unemployment, selfishness/user pays and banks putting money/power into hands of people who have not worked for it, is INHUMAN and ILLEGAL. The environment poorest now supposed to live in is INHUMAN – forcing people from their homes/land on a regular basis IS TERRORISM TORTURE PERSECUTION.

My own situation of standing up to what I knew was wrong, illegal and immoral in area of mental health treatment and inequality etc reflects the treatment of the PRISONER who showed courage (Stanford Prison Exp) and stood up to the bad behaviour of the guards. Not only did the guards attack him, so did the other prisoners and the way it was set up so the rebellious prisoner was hated by the other prisoners IS EXACTLY what is happening in our society.

We must eliminate those aspects of neo-liberal economic theory from our society, that create this inequality and support protection of the strong/rich/powerful at the same time as harming the weak/poor/powerless. Some of that will require changing/removing/revoking laws adopted to implement neo-liberalism in 1980s New Zealand (I contend these laws were ALWAYS illegal, which is why they should be revoked). Some of it will require strengthening of our constitutional laws and simplification of our justice system in this area – which I truly believe has been complicated in order to corrupt it. That is why Westminster Staute the 1st and Magna Carta are recognised as the first two laws of New Zealand.

Finally I wanted to make an appeal to those people reading my report, please help me I desperately need ACC to reinstate my care (including getting me back to university, as I was studying law before I was hurt and the ACC law says they must reinstate me as near as possible to my pre-injury state).

Please help me, I am an intelligent person, please don’t waste the past 15 years of extensive study and learning I have done living in the neo-liberal darklands. Don’t waste my expert knowledge of human behaviour, traumatic stress disorders and constitutional rights violations in the New Zealand context. We could lead the world in dismantling neo-liberal terrorism, rather than lead the world in the promotion of it – which we are currently doing (John Key while PM was head of a world group dedicated to spreading neo-liberalism across the planet and current government priorities and ongoing privatization/globalization focus shows they don’t intend to stop.

Please help me have a voice with my art so it can educate/inform those people radicalised and obsessed with neo-liberal economic theories to the detriment of society. Like in the Milgram experiment where those experimented on were not allowed to see the person they thought they were electrocuting/torturing/harming. Those people who have made New Zealand No 1 in the developed world for child suicide, women self-harming, family violence and homelessness.

Kia kaha and aroha to us all.

Jayne Routhan

Civil Society Actor

HUMAN SEWAGE

“It’s the shittt in your life that helps you grow – but too much shitttt and you die”.

“It’s not the traumas that happen to people that cause long-term harm, it is how we treat people after they are hurt that determines their recovery (whether they GET OVER IT OR NOT).”

“I am love, I am life, I am light as much as I am hate, I am death I am darkness

A whole being, no longer shielded from the reality of the cruelty at the heart of this materialistic neo-liberal culture.”

“ Neo-liberalism is terrorism”

“Neo-liberalism IS NOT MY CULTURE”

The Amazing & Kind Jacinda Ardern is a marketing phony

Was so disappointed with the budget- even worse than I thought it would be, wish I had money to get to Wellington I would be chalking every day! Grrrrrr  Singing, reciting poetry and protesting.  these filthy neo-liberal Labour scum – I knew they were bad but this is worse than I even imagined????  Where the fuck did the 1800 police come from???? I never heard that mentioned once coming up to the elections, I heard lots of promises about mental health services that they desperate not to provide.

What planet are these people on, they are continuing to grossly violate international treaties on the way you treat disabled and poor people.  They are allowing a grossly unjust and abusive economic system replace constitutional law.  The people who believe in it are radicalised extremists – they infect our media, our political institutions, our business world, our banking sector.  They leech off us peasants and then blame us when they screw up.

No reprieve from punitive welfare requirements, no reprieve from housing crisis.  It just gets worse and those in power continue to trivialise it and perpetrate it.  Karma coming, end of days I reakon from where I’m sitting, not long now before armageddon? or whatever it is going to be.  They promise all those greedy scum will be gone, so hopefully.

This can only be a good thing as people will realise this government weren’t going to save them and they have to get out on the streets and start fighting for their rights!

2nd night in Wellington police cells in New Zealand

Been avoiding writing this, don’t want to recall what happened it hurts too much, but I know I have to, then I won’t have to look at it again if I don’t want to – better out than in.

My arrest and night in Wellington police cells was going fine until the last three hours, then it all turned to shit because I was transported in a very cold NEW van into cold court cell, further delays and an arsehole guard looking after me.  People with stress disorders (in stressful situations) must be treated the same as people in shock, first thing you do is keep them warm, being cold adds to trauma/stress.  That is what should be on my court transfer papers not that I make vague threats of self-harm – WTF.  The design of that NEW transport staff were gloating about is absolute crap and harmful to those inside the boxes.

Start from the beginning

As I didn’t turn up for court on Monday, as I had been turned down by the OT for health services and still didn’t have a lawyer I knew there would be a warrant out for my arrest.  Chickened out doing a protest in Masterton so I would get arrested, too scared of police here.  Went over to Wellington chalking and then started on my mission.

Headed for Supreme Court to do some chalking about justice and how I completely blamed the judiciary for discrimination against mentally ill people and allowing government to criminalise and persecute them, deny them professional health care.  Then headed up to Treasury building and left a message for Treasury wankers – photos on my facebook page.  Held them to account for the appalling mental health stats as well – did a few swastikas and called them murderers as well – I know they hate it.  Then headed for Human Rights Commission, from which I am trespassed.

Nutted off at this old guy in reception and a group of people having a meeting about some bullshit.  I was in total fire breathing dragon mode, told them exactly what I thought of them and their responsibility for mental health crisis, suicide, NZ being No 1 for child suicide, self-harm in women and family violence.  Left before police arrived heading for my next target – didn’t make it 🙂

Have photos on my facebook page /jrmurphypoetmusician did a couple of videos of the chalking a few photos at the Human Rights Commission.  Its like lala land up there, those people are completely out of touch with reality and refusing to accept the seriousness of what has gone on in mental health due to an economic theory taking over from constitutional, health and justice rights.

Was arrested on Lambton Quay with my large naked torso painting a couple of cardboard signs and my big over shoulder satchel with chalk pens paper etc in it.  Was funny knowing they were coming, saw them to my left, I was heading towards Willis Street across from Midland Park.  They put on their lights, quickly did a u turn and jumped out of their car to aprehend me lol.  Told them to calm down I knew I was going to be arrested, that’s why I had come to Wellington – strange to them of course.  I was picked up on warrant for breach of bail for not attending court.  Not for nutting off at the dick head at the HRC and breaching a trespass order.  WAs prepared for it to happen though.

Tried to talk them out of handcuffs but couldn’t, managed to get them put on in front of me which is so much less oppressive/scary/vulnerable than behind your back.  She also did it really loosely on my right wrist cause told her I get arthritis in it.

Male officer told me handcuffs were for theirs and my safety – lol – brainwashed.  Not in my situation they’re not – its one thing I hope the UN can look at having a restriction on police using handcuffs, particularly in a public place.  They were OK, just following the book and treating me like any criminal who had a warrant out for their arrest.

Got back to the station and got processed, almost everybody was nice, were surprised to see me back.  The woman I had a run in with last time came and talked to me a few times, said she was pretty stressed with work etc last time I was there and sort of apologised, we made peace – that’s the main thing.

Didn’t sleep all night but was able to read a book, which I couldn’t last time because my stress levels were too high.  I can’t hold the story in my head when very stressed, even this time there were a few times I had to re-read paragraphs because I hadn’t absorbed what I just read.  Its a horrible part of Complex PTSD and a lot of people don’t understand it, can make you feel really stupid and like you going mad.  I worked out over years, it comes and goes depending on my stress levels.

I was OK with going through the police process I had gone over it in my head many times.  Had all the same guards as last time just in a different order, they were really cheerful and nice.  Told them I was in a much better state than last time and just wanted to get through the process and get things sorted out.  Last time I was self-harming and really distressed, this time I was really chilled out.

Had a guy come into the cells about 6pm who banged and yelled most of the night, then started up again in the morning – when I get stressed too, cause you don’t know what time is and all the guards disappear to organise transfers etc.  Handover is at around 7am.  So in the morning he sets off sprinkler in his cell and flooded something else by the sounds of it, lol, all the male prisoners were put in the female section – was weird seeing the guys – cause you never do.  They have it set up so people can’t see each other – I’m all good with that, few of them looked dodgy as.  They handcuffed him and put him in the Female Day cell that I can see from my special window/mental health cell.  Gave him the thumbs up for what he’d done, I was bored too.

As 11pm shift came on I asked if I could go in the bigger cell to prepare myself for going in the van in the morning, like I had spoken to Stuart about – when I made a comment about my first visit and how they could improve it.  He was a pommy guy with a bald head, manipulative power tripper.  So a group of them are outside my cell and he makes a comment about me being a Human Rights activist in a mocking tone then tells me he will think about the change of cell and tell me in the morning – he didn’t.  I worried about it all night, because had a bad feeling I would have a meltdown in the morning – which I did and are really horrible.  He purposely denied my request and kept me guessing to exert his authority and disempower me – and it would have had even more impact if I didn’t understand psychology of abusive power relationships.  so I’ll be making a complaint to police about it.  That is the sort of person who SHOULD NEVER BE in a position of power over others.

Got to have a shower at around 4.30am and had an early breakfast, 3 weetbix milk sugar & a milo.  Should have asked for something to take with me, didn’t realise how long it would be until I had food again – and I have diabetes issues if I don’t eat reguarly – especially having been up all night, when your body needs extra food.  I learnt that years ago, if you want to stay up all night at a party you have to keep eating throughout the night, its your body running out of fuel that makes you tired.

Reluctant to get in the van in the morning, they just turn up to take you, it freaks you out, I need to know what is going to happen to mentally prepare – fuck them!!!!

Van to Lower Hutt was really cold, 2 metal boxes in back of a van, 4 men sitting close together in one side and 2 women in the other.  First time I’ve had someone to talk to during transport, she was a regular visitor, knew the system well, but we avoided why we there.

We change to the NEW truck for trip over Rimutakas, it has about 10 metal boxes with individual windows – the staff were gloating that it belonged to Wairarapa and Hutt were jealous they didn’t have anything that flash.  Obviously they  have never spent any time in the back – I have got to get something done about the design or they going to have lots more people flipping out like me.

I refused to get in this van, he had to take my arm, but I did’nt resist past that, these metal boxes are only as big as your body and solid except for small windows.  Killer on your back, when you get jolted over bumps, there no padding its just a stainless steel bench about 1m square – FREEZING COLD AGAIN.  Not only cold thick metal there was a blast of cool air blowing down from directly above that you couldn’t get away from, it either went on top of your head or if you sat hard up against back it went onto your body and legs, which felt even colder.

Someone yelled out to guards to turn the fans off at about Upper Hutt, guards told him they were for ventilation, I chimed in that I wanted them off too, I was fkn freezing.

I got colder and colder – sooooo bad for my stress disorder – people under extreme stress are supposed to be kept warm.  Got angrier and angrier too.  When I got to Masterton refused to move – couldn’t move – I don’t know, but didn’t get out of van for about 5mins – they didn’t know what to do.  When I finally did because I thought they were going to get more physical two women were standing at end of truck.  I angrily asked WHAT ARE YOU – they were detectives, one of them said how she had heard about me in a nice enough voice –  I have got lots of supporters in the police – my response as I went past was a vicious GET FUCKED.  Was angry at the police for putting me through this shit, through all of this shit letting ACC manipulate them and refusing to investigate my complaints about them.

Was put in women’s holding cell at Masterton Court – it was fkn freezing as well, blasting cool air and a vent that went directly outside I could see through.  We had arrived about 10.30am from what I can gather, I wasn’t feeling very well coming over but was so fkn angry ignored it.  Got there was so cold put x2 on my ReFuSe tag I left two weeks ago.  They wouldn’t give me my shoes, eventually they gave me a museli bar at around 12pm – I had breakfast at 5am – they were told I had diabetes issues, it should be on my transfer notes I have to be offered food at regular intervals, they know the time I don’t – WTF.  Grrrr  That’s what those notes are fucking for – not a pile of disgusting offensive bigotry.

I sang Why Am I Arrested, Human Sewage and I wish I was dead with all loud drumming required on the walls – which went through the whole building I now know tehehehehe.  Some young people in other cells made comment about me ‘that protester’, also came to look at me through the window when one of them was wandering around.  Said something about me being Crazy – not me the crazy one dumarse – sometimes young people grrrrrrrr.

After singing revolting old white guy guard came to tell me I was embarrassing myself – trying to degrade me – oppressive and wanting to make me feel even more marginalised.  Again, lucky I know these sorts of tactics and can shake off most of their shit – but always a bit that sticks and makes you feel like shit.  Those are the comments that go on a loop in your head when you sink down into the well/darkness and consider all the good reasons you should kill youself.  I’m sure I’ll have to deal with that in the next few weeks – I’m sure there will be fallout from Thursday’s meltdown.

Then the arsehole said I was up next, ie first after lunch,  They called out 4 names before I STARTED LOOPING OUT – I was so distressed and so cold started losing it, started ticking by banging my whole body back against the door making a really loud noise, felt sooo good, calms me, its like a heartbeat and because its so violent on your whole body you can’t think of the anything else and it calms down the ‘panic attack’ you about to have – that happened later when outside.  Telling someone something is going to happen and then it not happening is another psychological torture method and what the guard in Wellington did.  An abuse and perversion of power – it is very common but should not be tolerated in people working in police etc. (Have found out since guards were pissed off with delays too, it was court staff who delayed my appearance – same court staff I gave shit to recently for not providing CCTV footage.)

Guard came along trying to get me to stop, turned the fan on full blast so I was even colder, turned the light on and off several times.  I was freaking out because of what had been happening and him lying to me, then he didn’t know what to do when I started freaking out more than he expected and the judge knows about it, cause the whole building can hear me.  If I’m causing that much fuss, then he has failed his job and EVERYBODY knows it.

I knew bus back to Carterton was at 1pm and it was 12, I got out at 1pm, with no time to walk to the bus stop 10 mins away.

My old public defence lawyer Susie turned up, which was a welcome sight as I was in full freak out mode pacing around the cell.  She spoke to the judge when i was up, told judge not-guilty and case now set down for 25 June.  They kept saying the police don’t oppose bail – because this is the third time I havn’t turned up for court and violated my bail conditions.  Of course police don’t oppose bail – that might be a bit much considering they put me here – they wouldn’t want to be reminded of what they have done grrrrrrr.  Police prosecutor in court looked ashamed, wouldn’t look at me.

After Susie spoke I made sure I had my say, without following any rules – except trying not to swear, it was pretty obvious I was really pissed off and really freaked out.  Not many people get to address the judge like I do but there was NO WAY I was leaving that courtroom without her knowing about Geneva Healthcare refusing me OT services and still not having a lawyer – which Susie told her anyway.  It was Judge Morris, I Know her and she knows my situation quite well, was still all I could do not to swear at her for allowing this to go on for years.  Like I said, I have never hurt anyone, they hurt me.

I reakon they left me until last so there weren’t many people in the gallery, they don’t like the public seeing me go through the system because I have no respect for the judge or the process and give them shit – using their own laws.  Quoted Magna Carta several times and reminded her I said two weeks ago when I saw here I wasn’t voluntarily participating in teh justice process until I had health care I need and lawyer I need.

They know at court making me wait stresses me out – they’ve accommodated this aspect of my disability before – why not now, when I’m in an even more stressful situation do they now ignore it?  They could have changed the order, they knew I was going to arrive the night before. grrrr, will be bringing this all up in my complaints to police AGAIN – that they will never listen to but I have to do because nobody else does grrrrrrrrr.

Told court staff to go get my painting and bag etc because I would not be going to the police station to pick them up like last time – I don’t want to see those motherfuckers at the moment – especially that dark headed bitch on reception.

Waited in the bail room, at least slightly warmer, but I was chilled to the bone.  NEK MINIT started crying uncontrollably, that heartbroken cry where you can’t even close your mouth and you dribble onto the ground in front of you as you sit there rocking, wailing, in such emotional pain.  Your heart smashed to pieces by what you are being put through for asking for health care and justice you entitled to, for throwing paint on a white ribbon banner after being assaulted and threatened by police  – plus knowing just how cruel and corrupt your government and so many others are.

Was let out, almost ran out of the court, got outside took two steps, stood there shaking, thinking – I had missed the bus, I was now extremely upset and would have to go to the park, find something sharp and spend the next few hours self-harming until next bus to Carterton.  Didn’t have anyone I could call to pick me up.

I became completely overwhelmed, my arms gave way & I dropped my paintings signs & bag just as my legs gave way from under me and I ended up on the footpath curled up in a ball on my side.  I managed to sit up and started rocking and wailing/crying loudly – in a way that would make my broken heart feel some sort of relief from what had just happened to me.  I wasn’t there long and a woman came along and one of the guards from court came out.  They were both very nice, the woman was from Te Hauora, I been screwed over by them several times, so I was scared of her, but when she offered me a ride home I had to ignore that and say yes – I had to get home – my homing beacon was on full strength and causes me huge stress if I don’t listen to it.  I wanted to be where nobody could see me melting down, it is so humiliating when it happens – it has only been this bad four other times in 15 years.

I couldn’t keep my mouth shut with the woman, I tried, I didn’t want to tell her anything, but all my biggest fears and worries were just tumbling out of my mouth, just like the anger does when I go ‘tourettes’.  I kept saying sorry, it was OK, it didn’t matter, I just wanted to go home etc.  She asked all the usual questions about a doctor etc, told her I don’t have a doctor and why – that I havnt’ seen one for over 2 years (1 for WINZ form last year doesn’t count).  Think she was pretty horrified at how unwell and unsupported I was, told her a little about not trusting Te Hauora.  I didn’t’ have any bread or milk at home, was crying about how poor I was and how tired I was of being poor and there of course was not point in living in this shit hole country. etc etc.  She gave me $20 I refused – I HATE CHARITY – she demanded I take it, I HATE PEOPLE WHO DEMAND I TAKE CHARITY, and from an organisation that has ensured I was taken advantage of and traumatised by a flatmate under their care, denied me care themselves and let me down when I was really unwell.  A friend in the community who worked for Te Hauora for a short time told me what they thought of me, that lots of people had tried to help me, I just didn’t want help.  FUCKING SCUMBAG FUCKING LYING PIECES OF FUCKING GARBAGE.  Same people I have made complaints about that were covered up and not dealt with you mean.  They a big part of the bigoted rumour mill round here.

I’m sure the only reason I had that horrendous meltdown is the cold, it was like being tortured.  It has left me feeling tearful and very very fragile, I don’t want to go out anywhere –  I can’t anyway I”m so broke.  I’m hoping I don’t get a backlash in a few days, sometimes that can happen and I get highly suicidal and all the oppressive degrading things staff did/said will come back to haunt me.

At least Susie and even Judge Morris acknowleged that I had been punished and suffered in custody – which is why of course I wasn’t prosecuted for breaching bail ($2,000 fine & 1 yr in prison is what they threaten on bail form for violations).  Given I had sent them an email Thursday last week saying I was both mentally incapable due to my disorder and refused to attend, asking them not to make me into a criminal – they did anyway.

One thing pissed me off about Te Hauora lady, she spent at least 5mins telling me to take medication for my anxiety – WTF.  Terrorised women are being put on medications to deal with teh inhuman and unsafe living situations they are being forced to endure by the government.  Its sick, deeply deeply disturbing, immoral, unethical, unprofessional and ILLEGAL.  I also explained I was a rescuer and helped lost souls pass over to the light, I was told by spirit not to take medication or it would affect my ability to protect myself spiritually.  She didn’t say anything after that – Maori understand spirituality a lot better than Pakeha thank God.  They have a lot more respect for spiritual people as well – most Pakeha ridicule us – sad considering our entire legal system is based on christian principles of fairness justice and us being all the same before God irrelevant of our wealth and status on earth.

I’m having a chill out day today, my daughter is taking me out for brunch for mother’s day which will be nice.  Will try and stay in the present and not feel bad about the fact I can’t afford to take myself out for brunch or anybody else.  I will barely be able to afford to buy my daughter a present, its her birthday soon – my life would have been so different if I had health care and help I needed to return to work after I was raped.  Fkn scumbag government, fkn terrorist murderers 🙁

My back is hurting, so trying to not do anything more to strain that after the trip over Rimutakas in truck, feels like a lower disc wants to move and I know what that means – not being able to sit down at all, only being able to walk around slowly or lay down and in agony for days.  Its happened before.  Obviously justice transport not designed for older people with aches pains & injuries.

People ask me why do I do this to myself, I can assure you it is actually helping me, it is very hard being really unwell at home on my own, its far more stressful than protesting and getting arrested.  I get food I don’t have to pay for, hot drinks, to talk to interesting different people who understand more about failings of mental health system than anybody else – police.

Some police are OK & actually respect what I am trying to do with my mental health advocacy work –  trying to get a better journey through teh system for people who have traumatic stress disorders.  I can assure everybody I DO NOT TRUST THE POLICE and nobody reading this should either – their are some real nasty pieces of work amongst them & most/all of the others will cover it up.  As nice as some are there are others who are fkn aresholes and they all sit back and allow shit to happen. Wouldn’t even be surprised if the cold transport was for my benefit – I would assume the new truck would have had heating.  Police trying all those psychological torture tactics perhaps – when constable French said you’ll see how bad police can be, is this what he meant?

 

Strongest impressions of my time in custody in New Zealand

Firstly, be nice if they nice to you, try not to let all the BS questions upset you.

Check out my youtube channel for the vlog I made at the Health and Disability Commission.  JR Murphy Poet.

I knew police take about 15-20 mins to get to a job around Wellington, so know when the lift opens its going to be them.  Three this time, two men and a woman, who surrounded me immediately, you have to get used to that – lot of abuse victims don’t like people behind them – me included.  One of them was a newbie who took my details, read me my rights etc.

One asked for me to put my hands behind my back but as I HATE handcuffs and last time I had them on they hurt A LOT (it was after the assault) I didn’t want to.  As soon as I ignored their instructions they got aggitated, I chilled the situation when I started joking about it.  I wasn’t ignoring their directions, I didn’t like handcuffs, they hurt and I was trying to talk my way out of having to put them on.  Sadly it didn’t work, its so much more comfortable and less oppressive when you don’t have them on.  Joked about being able to carry my own stuff out if I didn’t have them on – didn’t work.  He wouldn’t put them on in front of me either which is easier and a less vulnerable position.  He did put them on loosely, made me realise how tight the last lot were.  my hands were blue by the time I got them off and I had bruises for two weeks.

I was arrested on the warrant for not turning up to court, not for doing the protest at HDC even though I swore like a trooper.  I was trespassed and given the notice while I was being processed.  I was also questioned about chalking on the Tribunals building, which I admitted to.  If you knew at protesting don’t say too much when you arrested, I know my rights pretty well and know what to say and what not to say so I talk quite a bit.  If you are an activist keep to your rights and information you know about why you are taking the action you are.  Quote laws.

Organise to speak to a lawyer, but best to have a lawyer who knows consitutional law already oranised to arrange your release.  It is very seldom a judge will keep an activist in the cells overnight, I was picked up on a warrant – or if I had broken my bail conditions – I would have had to stay if I couldn’t get to see the judge.  A police officer told me few years ago to get arrested before 9am in the morning on a sitting day and I wouldn’t have to stay the night.

I am trying to get something organised where as a recognised disabled Civil Society Actor I can’t be held overnight because of my disorder.  United Nations treaties say NZ govt are not allowed to use the process in a punitive way against a CSA- which is what the justice system is being used for.  It is disproportionately cruel to make me stay incarcerated with my stress disorder issues compared with other people.  I am not a threat to anybody and I can be picked up by local police before court when I am set to appear.  (My issue about can’t appear is I can’t make myself drive to court, to get around this police have to pick me up, which I can do – weird I know but its a bizarre and terrifying disorder so you get creative.

They sent two police cars, there is always one of the officers who knows me, lead out in handcuffs and put in the car, you wonder what people are thinking – you wish you could explain to people what was happening and why.

Arrived at cells, newbie was asking me lots of questions, but I started to get upset and cry as my post bollocking melt-down started to kick in.  The woman processing me was a rigid bitch who I didn’t take to at all, usually those people are nice, but not this one, was an older woman.  Argued with her when I was told I would be staying the night as court wasn’t taking any more prisoners today.  Demanded to speak to a lawyer but that was a disaster.

The lawyer Val, a man, to start he couldn’t hear me and hung up (the accoustics in teh concrete box were really bad), they got him back on the phone and he said something to the effect to phone some woman – I don’t remember name – and she was more sympathetic to women in my situation. WTF sexist pig.  They were supposed to phone another lawyer but the small room overwhelmed me and I became claustrophobic and started banging on the door to be let out.  The officers said, don’t you want a lawyer and I just laughed at them, pointing out they knew very well I couldn’t stay in that room because of my mental health and as there was no other options then I got no lawyer.  I’d suck it up if I had to stay, I had no choice I couldn’t go back in that room, not that day – in fact not ever.

They take your shoes jewellery, everything out of your pockets and put them in plastic bags (which I keeping for an art project) – they also had my painting and two signs and my bag of protest stuff, visual diary, laws, pens etc.  I got put into a cell I have been in several times before, in the women’s section – officer told me there 38 mens cells and 9 womens – so when the revolution arrives we only need to get 50 people arrested and Wellington police are overwhelmed.  They can fit about 30 in the day rooms – anyway its not many. 🙂 dreams are free.

By the time they let me out of the concrete box I was freaking out and getting worse, head down ticking, shaking, hyperventilating, on verge of panic attack, but not knowing about to take the violence I was feeling out on myself.  Got back to the cell and started pacing, shaking, ticking, trying to keep a panic attack under control.  Nothing would work, so sat on bed and started banging my head and back against the concrete wall, it is the only thing that will calm me when I’m that traumatised.  Then I started wanting to hurt myself, with slapping beats on my legs and the mattress, beating myself about the head, thumping my thighs with fists as hard as I possibly could.  When its happening its a release valve, its not nice and is distressing for people watching.  Its torment on full blast, but it releases pressure, its me turning the psychological violence I have just endured into physical violence.  I have very little control over if it starts happen, my body is rigid.  It takes every bit of concentration to not completely flip out and start trashing the cell and really harming yourself by punching walls etc – because that’s what you want to do.  I picture every bone in both my hands smashed.

When I start punching my head its because I want the torment to stop, the hurt the extreme hurt about not getting health care I should be and being dragged through court and justice processes so unfairly.  Of being isolated and lied about, discriminated against and persecuted just so a bunch of neo-liberal rich pigs can have lots more money and poor people have less.  So they can make money out of people they deny mental health care to and safe homes.

I’m going to be requesting a copy of the CCTV footage from when I arrived until about 6pm when I finally calmed down.  Once the horrible police guard left at 3pm and next lot took over things got better.  Although I was told I had been a problem earlier, a problem mmmmm.  Best to be nice and make jokes when you first meet them, they’re usually nice and introduce themselves.  I play a game of trying to work out what the time is and I’m usually right – its one of the weird and not nice things about being in cells, you don’t know the time, even if it light or dark outside.  The dungeon they call Wellington police cells which is sub-ground and best earthquake strengthening possible I am told.

Dinner was 2 min noodles – which I refused – I eat too many of them already and butter chicken with rice over microwaved but ok.  There were 3 women there most of the night, one beside me was being checked every 20 mins.  Was given milo and tea over the night, when I couldn’t sleep.  All but two of the police were really nice, respectful and professional.

We got offered a shower at about 7pm which was really nice, you have to do it in front of guard but she way down end of corridor.  An image when I got to the showers has stayed with me – that I want to do an artwork about.  When I got to the showers there were five small soaps in one side and none in the other.  I asked the guard why, she said how people preferred the one that was slightly behind the wall and more private.  Just shows you how modest women are – not like what media portray (I have a theory this is one of the reasons young women drink so much to get confidence to wear things they not comfortable in).

  • Would be an amazing experience for every MP in parliament to be processed through the police and courts, kept in the cells overnight and experience the concrete phone box, showers, restrictions, small spaces, boredom, handcuffs etc.  The waiting rooms, the endless questions, the stripping of your identity, belts and shoes, the transport vehicles, the metal boxes, the other prisoners, the police and guards – mmmm I can feel a poem coming on – maybe a rap song.  Imagine Crusher Collins locked in the concerete phone box unable to get a lawyer and having to bang and yell to get out.  Or Jerry, lol, with his size, what a mission, getting in and out of cars and transport vehicles – I actually don’t think he would fit in the latest transport vehicle I was in.  He wouldn’t have handled the small dinner either and no snacks.

My back started getting really sore and I had to move around most of the night because of it.  Sitting on a low bench/bed was hurting it.  So changed to lying on my tummy, walking around, doing exercises etc.  The pillows are really bad so I got an extra blanket, was OK.  Wish I could have had a scrubbing brush and bucket of hot soapy water for a couple of hours to clean the cell.  Was still hair and stuff from previous occupants, it was Tuesday night, I’m not sure how many days worth – I thought that was a big tacky.  Showers weren’t cleaned every day either and water pooled on floor outside them, looked pretty yuk – at least a few days old – thats unhygenic.

Boredom is the most difficult thing when you have really bad mental health, because you brain always wants to obsess about being locked up, the injustices etc.  So I do things, like sing, good pracitice for remembering my songs, recite poetry and do drum rhythms on my legs, walls, doors, matress etc.  I also rip up paper hand towels and toilet paper – which I then keep and make into an artwork (which I’m doing later today).

I rip up poly cups you get your cuppa tea/water in, I do origami and make water bombs and Which Number Do You Choose game.

The mornings are the most difficult, hard to know the time and things stirring, you getting prepared to go into the metal box in the paddy wagon and not wanting to.  Past two times I spent night in cells I had massive melt-downs in the morning and I could feel another one coming on.  I told my guard what was happening and could I walk around the female day room and have my breakfast until I had to go, just to give me a bit more space from the cell I was in and before I had to go into something much smaller.  He seemed OK with it but said he would have to talk to his Sgt, he never came back and I had that melt-down and it was horrible.

Went on for ages, though it is hard to know when you in that state, rocking, fingers in ears, crying, self-harming, tormented and completely distraught.  I remember starting to babble about being allowed to go to the day room over and over again.  That’s when Sgt I didn’t like came around with breakfast and asked me if I wanted any, in amongst the babbling I said yes.  He asked again and I said yes, he left and went to the next cell.  I wanted breakfast I wasn’t feeling good, I told them I had early stages of diabetes when I arrived.  Want to get the CCTV footage of not getting breakfast as well.

The guards from the previous night and overnight had been trying to help me with my issue about getting into small spaces in the transport vehicles.  They tried to have my case transferred to Wellington, but apparently you have to go where warrant was issued, which was Masterton for me.  There were several other people being transported over to Masterton, obviously a bad bunch over here.

They did offer to get me the CATT team which I refused, what’s the point, I just been turned down by mental health and what would they do.  I would just start swearing at them, I go tourettes when they come anywhere near me, I’m terrified of them.  When they suggested it all I could envisage was me spitting at them and being done for assault.  When I thought about it I could have used the 6hour rule to not have to stay incarcerated in police cells but would probably have had to go into care of mental health AND THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM EVER GOING TO DO THAT VOLUNTARILY – NOT EVER.  At least I know what police are capable of and inmates are locked up so can’t harm you.

One part of it I was whimpering and crying, a woman in another cell was being really lovely and telling me it would be OK and not to worry.  She did this for about 20 mins, its amazing how people come together in these situations – I’ve seen it before, especially with people who are upset.  I’ve also seen upset people be verbally attacked by other prisoners and told to kill themselves cause they were losers.  (same sort of people in police)

Then two new guards appeared at my door telling me it was time to leave, knowing I had been having a melt-down for over an hour.  They tried to be nice and commented on my origami, were impressed they were water bombs I had made.  I had to tell them I couldn’t walk and to give me 5mins after my melt-down, they weren’t too bad, only young.

Had a right audience putting me in the first transport van, was getting flashbacks of the last time, couple of years before and it wasn’t good.  Tried to be brave but got to the door and stopped, I Knew there was no choice and all those people behind me woud make me get in there but I still told them how I felt and that I didn’t want to.  One of them commented on me not wanting to go to court, I threw back some insult that shut him up.

Got in the box and focused on my breathing and avoiding teh claustraphobic feelings.  Looked out the back window.  Started hyperventilating and banging my head against the box to calm down.  Prisoner being bit of an arsehole – one of those who hones in on suicidal and traumatised vulnerable people – someone who attacks the weak rather than protects them.  Guards driving teh van suggested one of the guys sing to me to make me feel better.  It does distress some people when they see me in that state – that’s what many of them have encountered when rescuing abused women, except it is the justice system setting off my traumatic behaviour.

I immediately snapped out of what I was doing to keep from freaking out and said I can sing and started singing Why Am I Arrested, with drumming, the prisoner didn’t like it too much but I ignored him.  Then I did Human Sewage and Wish I was Dead with loud emphasis on SHOT by slapping both hands on the metal wall in front of me.  That was as we drove down the Wellington motor way out to the Hutt Valley, I was in full voice, loud as I sing it at home with just as much feeling.  YOu could hear every word.  Everybody shut up after that.

We arrived at Lower Hutt court to swap prisoners & I felt a bit better after singing and joked with those unloading me that last time I was here I chalked Judge PJ Butler on the building and a big swastika.  They knew about the incident and now they had met who did it.  I had been put in last and let out first which I was EXTREMELY GRATEFUL FOR – it was one small thing I had talked to my guard about that they did.

They lied to get me in the van to Lower Hutt because they said the next transport was bigger and really it was much much smaller.

You have to bang on the door repeatedly to get any attention which is annoying, made sure I went to the toilet when I could because I know how incontinent I can get with my bladder/kidney issues if I need to go.  The toilet at Lower Hutt court is amazing, shame they don’t give you pens to contribute to the mural of graffiti all over the natural plywood walls.  I so wanted to do a poem in that room – will have to do something to get back in that room and do one.  Maybe another chalk mission, the walls of that building are like a giant blackboard.  I could come up with some cartoon images and words.

So we were put back in the new – state of the art apparently – transport van/truck.  As we were walking out one of the guards started giving me shit about being in custody and being arrested (which I had organised myself when I did the protest).  Lecturing me, I gave him a right mouthful, told him he wasn’t my fucking father and I was there because two policemen assaulted me, lied about it in court and got away with it and I had thrown red paint over white ribbon banner as a result.  He scoffed to others listening how it was only an alleged assault- there were about 6 guards police around during the change over.  I just said YEAH RIGHT of course it was pig and a few other nasty comments.  Which others listening seemed surprised about.  Said something to the effect how I suppose we would get a shit drive over the hill now after what I said, but we didn’t.

The put me in van and of course the enclosure/metal box was even smaller, only the size of a person sitting down – no way Jerry Browlee would fit.  You had a window, which I just focused on most of the time – the view.  There was a camera up in front of you, you weren’t in handcuffs or anything.  Anybody would think you were a terrorist and your comrades were preparing to break you out – the security was EXTREME.  The plug on the bottom of the metal box made me feel sick, you wonder what sort of fluids went down there.  Anybody with really bad claustraphobia would be completely fkd in that metal box.

The imagines outside the window were cool, such a familiar trip for me but not in a police paddy wagon with bunch of other criminals.  Going through Greytown you could see the van/truck clearly in the windows and Carterton where my graffiti from the morning before was still up.  Would be great idea for a music video for some of my songs.  Make the paddy wagon like a tardis inside with me and a band performing, while outside the world watches us go past in a reflection.  We’re a statistic that people who create this neo-liberal nightmare make sure the masses don’t see.

Got taken out at Masterton and taken through to court waiting room where I tagged ReFuSe on teh wall using my finger and rubbing it over someone who had used a pencil to tag.  Some of the shit on the walls was real bitchy violent hate stuff, typical Masterton and a big pencil tag MSTN can’t be trusted – I completely agree.

It was cold, I didn’t have my coat or my shoes, only my socks, I was feeling yuk and needed something to eat.  The guard I had called a pig was still with me and I had to ask him to get me something to eat as I felt sick and had no breakfast in Wellington.  When we got out the guy in metal box beside me was looking back at me, obviously to see who had been making all the noise – pretty sure he was in the van from Wellington as well.

Guard came in and said I had to see Forensic Nurse while I was there – I refused.  Now I realise police wanted that to prove they hadn’t been the ones who inflicted the bruising to my face.  I had not mentioned the bruising even though I knew it was there.  Several people I have seen since have mentioned it and immediately thought it was police, I’m happy to tell them it was me and was THE SYSTEM that drives me to self-harm, not the actual police around me.

Guard came in and said I had to see lawyer – I refused that as well, no point.  This was only another court date until I actually get a PROPERLY TRAINED CONSTITUTIONAL LAWYER.  Judge was a crusty old guy and you don’t fk with them too much, told him my magna carta rights were violated and I didn’t have to follow the law, told him my mental health was too bad and I couldn’t make myself attend court.  Told him until my health care was reinstated and I got constitutional lawyer I needed I wouldn’t be participating.  He pretended to ignore most of what I was saying.  A lawyer in the room volunteered that another lawyer had just rejected me as a client so LEgal Services Agency were trying to find another before 7 May.  So is Wellington Community Law Centre and Ann Rice at the Law Society.  I don’t believe they exist – its just a sick joke they tell people about justice that they don’t actually do.

Given same bail conditions then waiting in bail room told I have to go back to Masterton police station to pick up my belongings and shoes.   That judge said I am not allowed within 1 metre of unless it is an emergency.  I pointed that out to the court staff – who are always nice to me (most of them) so they phoned police station to get it organised.  I don’t trust Masterton police not to have me prosecuted for picking up my stuff.

Walked out of bail room had to go past security, getting a few flashbacks to melt-down I had there couple of months ago, but nothing I couldn’t handle.  Waved and smiled at the security guard I had yelled at and he smiled back – so that’s all sorted thankfully.  Will make it easier to go in teh building next time.

Lucky it wasn’t raining recently and I could walk around to police station in my socks.  Took my time getting sorted in foyer, getting shoes on, took a photo of where white ribbon banner USED TO BE, tehehehehe.  Although I was sitting in that police station after spending the night in cells, it was actually a WIN FOR ME not for them.  Every time this case goes to court it will be explained I threw paint on that banner because of injustice about police assault, threats and cover up.  Everybody who here’s my story thinks I am completely justified, including me.  I did perform an act of wilful damage but there was no injustice in my actions – so I can’t be prosecuted and punished.

A friend was in Masterton and was able to give me a ride home – back to my car I had left at Carterton Railway station the day before.  All the train guards will know I spent a night in the cells, its really cool how they follow what I do.  If I had seen judge in Wellington I wouldn’t have got a free ride home – that saved me $17.

Another successful guerrilla protest mission as the days go on only those things that left an impression are with me and things are fading, which is why I wanted to write it all down.  Hopefully too it will help/validate other people with stress disorders who have anything to do with the justice system and police.  Give them some ideas on how to deal with situations so they dont’ get too out of hand.

Lastly, when I got home I noticed a form attached to my things  –  Instructions for escorts to and from court.  The comment on me being suicidal was absolutely disgusting, full of lies and was just degrading me because of my suidical ideation, calling them vague threats of suicide.  After police had been so nice to read this was disturbing – who had written it, why would they write such a pile of BS that didn’t help guards whatsoever, in fact it made them more bigoted and easier able to discredit me.  I will be making a complaint about this form and some of the other things that happened and I also can’t praise some police staff highly enough for accommodating impairments related to my disorder/disability and making my stay in custody as easy as it could be for someone like me.

For activists, when you do finally get around friends you can talk to, spend a few hours debriefing and telling them about your experiences.  Have a long hot shower to wash away all the bad shit.  As soon as you can write a diary note about everything that happened, sign it, date it and you’ve already told someone about it.  This is important evidence if anything happens in future to address discrimination and problems that arose – like the revolting comment on transport documents – or not getting access to room prior to being moved and not getting breakfast.

When I got home, as I have said before on my website i got the news that all my ACC care is going to be reinstated after waiting eight years.  It seems surreal and I know once I get this care I won’t be having the melt-downs, self-harming and extreme torment I go through now in teh court system.  Wait until they see jayne in action and full strength – then I’ll kick some legal arse.