Tag Archives: discrimination

Anne Tolley MP – Either Corrupt or Seriously Deluded Regarding Abuse Victims

My response to Anne Tolley’s garbage about looking after people who were abused in state care – or anybody who suffered childhood abuse for that matter.

From: JR
Sent: Wednesday, 30 November 2016 9:16 a.m.
To: anne.tolley@parliament.govt.nz
Subject: You are either corrupt or seriously deluded

Your comments about abuse victims in state care – in fact ANY ABUSE VICTIMS – is absolute garbage.  I have been involved in this field for 15 years, all of that time screaming for the professional treatment care and rehabilitation I am entitled to from ACC and being mostly refused (or having it provided then illegally removed).  If I can’t get care I am entitled then no child is every going to.

I talk to dozens of people who say exactly the same as me that the system is corrupt, abusive and psychological torture – it is those of us who do not have well functioning families that are the ones who suffer the most.  You are seriously deluded, your government and neo-liberal obsessed radical terrorist friends know the damage they have caused by not providing what mentally injured abuse victims are entitled to under ACC, health, disability, criminal, imperial, human rights and bill of rights laws.

I have six people I know right now who are all suicidal and suffering, all abuse victims 3 women and 3 men.

You disgust me, watched you in the house yesterday, you’ve seen my chalking around Parliament, I’m sure you have seen all my complaints of harm by ACC and others.  I still don’t have a safe house to live in, still petrified my latest flatmate going to hang himself, he barely speaks, there’s something wrong with him – he didn’t like it I asked him to get rid of his dog who kept pooing inside.  I don’t want to live with mentally ill people, I don’t want to live with suicidal people, I don’t want to live with dangerous people who rip me off – even when they are supposed to be under care of NGO!

Why won’t you meet with me, I’ve asked you before – 1 hour and I’ll tell you how bad it is in Carterton.  But then Wairarapa is particularly bad because neo-liberals, mostly National Party, sold off all the state housing in order to gentrify this region – so your rich voter mates have somewhere safe to live.  There will never be anywhere safe while you allow the persecution of so many disabled mentally injured and ill people – you drive these people mad, they used to have state homes to go to, but you stopped all that.  You do realise intelligent people knew why safe stable housing was needed don’t you.  You are seriously disturbed, just like all the other neo-liberal extremist governments around the world who have spent past 30 years advancing rich business people, disadvantaging middle class and persecuting poor.  Driving decent jobs overseas to poor countries with few human rights, violating human rights of disabled people in New Zealand, denying disabled people like myself the necessities of life and leaving me to be harmed and further traumatised – to be marginalised and ostracised because of the situation I am in.

You are a liar, you are ignorant and you refuse to accept what your cruel immoral corrupt government are doing to an entire sector of society.  From my extensive study and research people with histories of abuse seem to be those who are being treated like human sewage – those who become violent particularly (which is an impairment related to their disability according to world experts).  These are the people ending up in jail, harming those around them, addicts and committing suicide.  Of course you love those who harm others and end up in jail, its the ones like me who self-harm and suffer for years rotting on welfare that you despise the most.  What you force police to do to people like me is seriously disturbed, check out my website for what’s happening there.  One day I’m going to get you sickos into a court room – no matter if you leave parliament, what you have done is a crime against humanity for abused and the most vulnerable people in this country.

You are an extremely sick woman – bet you don’t even get this email – that’s why you have staff so you don’t know this pain and suffering you are causing in our communities, for me and so many others.  I have referred you to my website previously, but here it is again, these are the laws, the solutions and the trauma you are causing.

​Sincerely

JR

Civil Society Actor

PERSECUTED WHISTLEBLOWER

HUMAN SEWAGE LIVING IN THE DARKLANDS

ACC & Paula Rebstock are Criminally Negligent and Corrupt – New Zealand 2016

Below yet another email begging to have my care reinstated and professional care/rehabilitation provided – I saw on social media a meeting called #integratedcare held in Wellington today, which is really Occupational Therapy (a method of rehabilitation that has been around for decades) and like I have repeatedly called Multi-disciplinary Approach to Rehabilitation which I studied at Massey University 7 years ago.

People are trying to say this is new – its not new – its what should have been happening – and mental health care (especially trauma care after abuse) should never have been excluded like it has been – thanks to corruption ignorance bigotry and general hatred of abuse victims.  If you read over ACC laws you will see good intelligent educated compassionate NORMAL people developed those rehabilitation requirements (based on Occupational Therapy), they are extensive (especially in the area of social rehabilitation) and detailed.  Just ACC doesn’t do it and nobody seems to give a shit that they are violating laws and harming people – which is a crime under NZ Crimes Act.

If you read over disability documents put out by the government you will see they promised integrated care, if you read over human rights, disabled rights, mental health documents they all say this is happening WHEN I KNOW IT IS NOT!  Because I have known what these people were talking about for 15 years and told thousands of people about it I am currently blocked from Ministry of Social Development, White Ribbon campaign, Human Rights Commission, Health and Disability Commission and so many others.  I am denied any care that even resembles an integrated care plan and police bully and threaten me for speaking out about this gross miscarriage of justice against me and 10,000s of others.

I feel disgusting at the moment, have put on so much weight on top of everything else.  Anyway the email.


From: Jayne
Sent: Wednesday, 23 November 2016 4:43 p.m.
To: Complaints ACC; ACC Complaints
Subject: I still havn’t heard from my counsellor about treatment & reinstatement of my rehabilitation

I am very unwell, suffering extreme psychological distress, bombarded with violent suicidal and self-harm thoughts over and over again.  My bulimia is bad, ticking is bad, I am trying to hide it from everybody as much as I can as I don’t want to be threatened, insulted, degraded, abused, forcibly drugged and incarcerated.  My living situation is unsafe and I am still very frightened.  I am still putting on a large amount of weight, I have tried to get help to do some exercise but the person let me down.  I have barely left my bed the past two days I am so unwell.

I have been waiting for many months to see the counsellor Jenny Kirby, she was supposed to phone me, you have not reinstated my rehabilitation similar to that I had in 2009, you have not done anything to ensure I am protected from harm and provided the health care I am entitled to.  You have ignored impairments related to my disability and refuse to support me to even get to Jenny Kirby.  You are violating ACC, health, disability, criminal, imperial, human rights and bill of rights laws.  You are causing me to be discriminated against, driving me to suicide and dysfunction, ensuring I am isolated and marginalised in my community – and frightened to participate.  You have made me dependent instead of resilient and you think its a great joke because you saved that corrupt American Paula Rebstock money – but cost me my life and left no hope for my future.  Now I don’t own a home and will never recover from the past 15 years of discrimination, persecution, abuse and psychological torture.

I have noted on social media a large meeting on #integratedcare being held in Wellington today – this is the same as what I studied at University years ago about Multi-disciplinary approach to rehabilitation – which is what my care in 2009 was the beginnings of (that you illegally withdrew against all professional (and my) advice) - I told you that I wanted this type of professional rehabilitation, instead corrupt cruel immoral and criminal negligent people in ACC stopped it from happening.  Why?

Can you please advise Jenny Kirby when I will be receiving professional rehabilitation as required under law and this nightmare of hell will end, so I can get back to a normal life and work?

GOD PLEASE HELP ME.

JR

PERSECUTED WHISTLEBLOWER

HUMAN SEWAGE LIVING IN THE DARKLANDS

 

 

New Zealand Police vs JR Murphy

After phoning Police Headquarters Complaint Investigation Unit about huge delay in dealing with police assault in August, I received a phone call from Insp Donna Howard who took over Wairarapa District earlier this year.  What Insp Howard said to me yesterday (18/11/2016) is really pissing me off so I need to write about it, I will send the link to her as well.  Towards the end of our conversation about police phoning me if they have someone phone them ‘concerned for my welfare’, she started saying I should be respectful of HER staff, that I shouldn’t swear at them.  Told her since I was assaulted by one of HER officers I had little respect for them and how dare she expect me to after what they have put me through.  I hung up or I would have started swearing and sent her an email, explaining briefly why I got angry.

Felt I needed to explain the backstory to my rage and disgust in police, especially in the Wairarapa where I live.  Also my disability is Compounding CPTSD, so all the unresolved trauma police have caused builds up, which is why I was having nightmares and was so frightened by noises of cars in my street that police were coming to get me.

It was always a rule of mine not to swear at the police and I didn’t for years, even if several times I wanted to.  My brother in law a Snr Sgt, he told me what to do, not to swear or say the P word.  It wasn’t until they started being vindictive and mean, stripping me naked in the cells and demanding I remove my underwear even when I had my period; charging me with bogus minor crimes then dropping the charges at the last minute or losing the case (around 10 times since illegally ACC withdrew all my care in 2009 and I started protesting).

Taking me up to the cells when they didn’t need to, being violent and degrading (violently arresting me Xmas Eve 2014, refusing me shoes & a jersey when I was sick with flu).  Basher insulting me at home, telling me if I was broke (and I was) that I should sell my furniture -  furniture my friends had given me.  Sykes gossiping about me around town telling people not to let their children come to my house because I was a nutter, another officer hiding a formal complaint over the Xmas Eve event.  Then of course there were the repeated welfare visits (more than 50) which were embarrassing and my neighbours saw.  Most officers were nice but ignored when I said about ACC or mental health refusing me services.

Then there was the late night welfare visit at 11pm earlier this year which was very traumatic for me.  The welfare visit I was taken to Masterton and charged with Misuse of a Telephone for phoning ACC screaming to have my care reinstated (as I had done many times with no response).

  • My case manager had phoned April 2014 telling me my care would be reinstated as it was in 2009, I spent 15 minutes confirming this.  All that happened was I had to do another traumatic assessment with Dr Doris in Auckland, had to catch plane up and back in 1 day, lots of things I had to pay for.  I was very unwell and needed my care back it was psychological torture to be told it would be, telling all my family and friends it would be, then nothing happened.  I still have absolutely no services and my doctor is hopeless - although she wrote to them weeks ago asking why  my care was withdrawn and why it hasn’t been reinstated, just like other doctors have done, and had no response.

Years ago I discovered Sections 150A 151 155 and 157 of the Crimes Act, I know ACC are violating these laws and police have continuously refused to prosecute them.  One officer did look into it but after several months of hope, told me police ‘didn’t know who to prosecute’ so refused to go any further (ACC are a limited liability company, my case manager, the CEO and Chair Paula Rebstock should have been charged – of course there needed to be a thorough investigation to identify others persecuting me but it was never done).  So when ACC phoned and wanted me prosecuted for an extremely minor charge of course I was extremely upset with police – and why should I have any respect for them – they are supposed to uphold the law for me, protect people like me, not just rich and powerful at ACC (who are illegally refusing me and so many others disabled by abuse care and leaving me in harmful situations).

Then of course there are all my protests and the charges I have got off there, that should never have been taken and I told them that over and over again, that I was within my rights, under Bill of Rights laws.

Another vindictive mean thing they did was keep me in the cells overnight twice, where I broke down in the morning both times.  First time was for breaching trespass notice for parliament – I was outside the building – after being told by police they wouldnt’ arrest me the week before, this day they did.  I overhead one of the officers tell another that the order had come down from upstairs (because they wanted to let me go).  My girls were 14 and 15 then and were left home alone.  Also there was already case law that said people can protest on Parliament grounds even if trespassed previously.

Next time was week before Xmas 2014 I violated bail conditions and did a protest at Justice House, I was very unwell, singing, reciting poetry and had my naked torso painting.  I didn’t know I would have to stay and was really upset, was told by police a lawyer couldn’t get me out – found out that was wrong.  Because I have mental health issues they are not allowed to hold you in the cells for longer than six hours – I’m sure the cop didn’t know BUT I should have seen a lawyer.

Also was arrested for not appearing in court – because I couldn’t afford to get there and was traumatised by what had happened in 2013.  Police waited two weeks then picked me up 8am 2 January, a public holiday and my birthday, which they knew.  Initially was angry and traumatised by this, then couldn’t stop laughing on way to court – the shear stupidity and vindictiveness of police was laughable.  Had my kids home for a visit, had a day of things planned I had to delay for three hours.  Other person seeing judge that day was a man who had beaten up his partner and wanted to get out of the cells.  I had done nothing but a non-violent protest begging for my health care to be reinstated by ACC so I could get back to work.

Then of course there was the violent arrest during the Rugby World Cup where I had been protesting outside ACC building and police were called.  I had vented and was really angry but ready to leave when police arrived (I never threatened anybody with harm but called them maggots and swore at them several times).  One officer went inside to talk to staff and one stayed with me and refused to let me leave – other officer came out without speaking and slammed a handcuff on my right wrist.  I freaked out – my stress disorder – pulled away from him like I was being attacked onto the ground screaming in fear, my wrist still attached to his arm.  Have been scared of handcuffs since and always ask, then beg, for them not to be used (nice police officers don’t use them).  You are not allowed to arrest a person like that, you are supposed to warn them they are under arrest etc.  I blame the Sgt who sent two young men to deal with a disabled female protester, as they were having to deal with violent rugby fans every night and just used same tactics on me – inappropriately.

Then of course there were the insults and discrimination that prompted me to chalk pen a swastika onto the Carterton police station.  Telling me I was a liar, that lots of people had tried to help me – I just didn’t want it.  Telling me I was protesting all the time and made it my job because I was mentally ill, again that I was a liar and nobody was being discriminated against or refused care they entitled to.  That my protesting was a joke, that they weren’t scared of me like the others – which showed they were being vindictive.  Threatened in very menacing way if I didn’t stop protesting my innocence and rights under law, saying I had just been assaulted and talking about ACC etc that I would find out just how mean and nasty the officer could become if he wanted.

Why would anybody be scared of me, I’m a single woman with a disability, no partner so no protection from a man, isolated from my family and most of my community - police have an entire force to back them up and they do rightly or wrongly.  Not all police are mean, but those who aren’t are allowing others to do it and not saying anything -which makes them almost as bad.

Then the assault :-( then 3 hours of being held at Masterton Police Station, went into shock after the assault (had only just got over a bad flu week before) refused a blanket.  Tried to make me catch bus home, ended up curled up in a ball in the corner of station banging my back on wall repeating over and over I can’t catch the bus.  left for an hour in even colder part of police station at the front desk.  Cowering from people who walked past, head down, rocking and whimpering that I was cold and wanted to go home.  Go home to a flatmate who didn’t speak and not able to tell any of my friends or family what had happened.  Having no counsellor, social worker, psychologist etc I could tell either.  I did tell my doctor but she ignored it.

Also police have not acted on my complaint of assault by High Court Security in July 2016 when violently detained for wanting to attend court case of Tony Ellis taking government to court over Torture and Inhuman Treatment, which I tried to do and failed previous year, couldn’t get a lawyer and so wanted to see how to do it myself.

Just remembered another police thing where I was arrested at Police HQ earlier this year for getting angry and swearing during a marketing promotion about Its Not OK – went there and started yelling how it wasn’t OK to withhold health care, not have safe homes for people, leaving them with dangerous flatmates, make things worse for them, etc etc.  Usually I would have been 30 mins in police station, given a warning and let go – this time I was held in the cells for five hours to see mental health, who they know I am petrified of and just swear at, then let go.

My complaints to IPCA are also being ignored – apparently I make too many of them – I have made 6 complaints over 8 years (3 in past six months), as soon as I started making complaints things deteriorated with police in Wairarapa.  Police in Wellington nowhere near as bad, especially with the insults, degradation and way I am treated.

All of this I have experienced at the hands of police and I have done my upmost best to stay civil to those who are nice to me – even when I see the uniform and am overwhelmed by all the bad things people in that uniform have done.  So when Inspector Howard says I should not swear or be disrespectful of her officers anybody would understand why I find it extremely difficult and have ever right to talk to them the way I do when they are mean and disrespectful.

Sorry this post is a bit confusing, so many things have happened and I get triggered easily by having to recount what has happened.  Hopefully it shows Inspector Donna Howard and others what I have been subjected to for screaming for the professional health care I am entitled to from ACC (I have won two reviews and still get nothing) and protesting about mental health and justice services in New Zealand being abusive and violating people’s rights.

I find it extremely sad and soul destroying that Human Rights Commission and a multitude of justice and health agencies etc refuse to uphold my rights and protect me from this ongoing persecution – cause persecution is what it is according to definition in my Oxford Dictionary.  All this just so I can get the health care I am entitled to as a mentally injured abuse victim – if an intelligent 51 year old women who knows her rights can’t get professional care then NO MAN WOMAN OR CHILD will get what they entitled to either.  Of course our government, media and disgusting corrupt liberals in the VIOLENCE & ABUSE INDUSTRY will keep telling you it is OK to ask for help and there are heaps of care for people!

I live in sick sick country, in a sick sick world, that ignorant rich violent neo-liberal terrorists run.

Kia kaha to us all.

JR

 

.

 

New Zealand Police Assault Day 2 Emails

@police.govt.nz>
Sent: Saturday, 6 August 2016 7:25 a.m.
To: JR
Subject: Re: New Complaint of Unnecessarily Violent Arrest yesterday 5 August 2016 – Plus Privacy Act Request

Jayne
This is to acknowledge I have received and read your email.
I will notify our Professional Standards Office in Wellington who will initiate a complaint inquiry.
You are still entitled to make a separate complaint to the IPCA.
I will seek information and explanations from the staff involved.
I don’t believe we have cctv inside or outside the Carterton police station but will check this.  The area outside may be covered by Council cctv.
Mike

Sent from my iPhone

Mike,

Thank you – and thank you for getting back to me so quickly I dont’ feel as frightened when I know what is happening.  It does appear though that my previous complaints have caused a lot of resentment with some officers which is really sad.  I never make them to cause trouble, I make them because I know there are a lot of people, perhaps with stress disorders like mine, that can’t make them and how will officers understand who do it wrong.

I’m a good person Mike, I don’t hurt people they hurt me and the idea I have been offered ‘professional’ health care and rehabilitation and refused it is absolutely ludicrous.  Crying now – I don’t want to spend my life fighting for the care I am entitled to and need – for me and others – however because I am a good person and care more about other people than myself I don’t act on the suicidal hell in my head – I do my best to make a difference in the world using the knowledge I have acquired and the intelligence I was given.  I tried for so many years to heal myself, it didn’t work, my dysfunction got worse not better – of course that was severely aggravated by my unstable living situation – and since my kids left home unsafe living situations.

I think I’ve worked out where the corruption in ACC and mental health is – its not only about being denied services – its more about being denied a professional treatment and rehabilitation process.  Also the doctors who have backed up ACC and mental health I barely knew and were not qualified to make comment.  The people who were are Dr Alan Doris, Jenny Kirby, Glenda van der ven Long (Occupational Therapist) and mental health worker Donna – those people I worked with, they were professional and used a professional process.  Particularly the OT, they will tell you how hard I worked to overcome my phobias created by the sexual abuse, not guilty verdict and ongoing neglect and trauma.  They were all opposed to ACC removing my care in 2009.

Also ACC offering me care at Ashburn Hall, which I begged for years ago but was refused, in isolation to a comprehensive rehabilitation programme in my community – based on the Whare Tapa Wha model is not professional and never going to work.  I can barely leave town, couldn’t go to my uncle’s funeral (which I am very upset about) and recently went to visit my daughter and sister in Whakatane which was the first time since I was raped, I have chosen to go away, rather than been expected to by a friend or relative.  ACC knew I had serious issues with getting to Dunedin, they are supposed to accommodate those – they refused, the woman they have got as my case manager is not a health professional, she doesn’t know the law and she doesn’t follow professional processes – especially in the area of disability (refer the NZ Disability Strategy which I am currently making a submission on).

I’m going on sorry.

Jayne

 

New Zealand Police Assault Complaint Not Dealt With

Been protesting outside Masterton Police Station again today :-( Two officers came out after about an hour to check on my sign, which was directed at the Inspector leading Wairarapa police which said “DONNA COWARD STOP ignoring police assault of disabled abuse victim”.  One who spoke to me was a nicer one I know but I couldn’t even reply, just froze, tried not to cry, shake or cower from them, had my head hanging down and focused on my breathing until they left.

Also had several people come up to me and supported what I was doing, told me a few stories as well about those officers who are arseholes – who give all of them a bad name.  Couldn’t talk much as didn’t want to cry.

I realise people don’t believe the police would assault a woman so I decided to post the emails I sent following the assault begging for it to be sorted out because I had become very frightened of all police and the thought of coming to my home again was giving me nightmares.  I am not an unreasonable person, all I want is an apology and promise from the two who assaulted me that they would never hurt me like that again.

Police Complaints Authority (IPCA) are involved and have contacted me recently and said they refuse to deal with the assault until April 2017, after my charges of Misuse of A Telephone and Graffiti are heard.  Legally the assault has nothing to do with the charges, IPCA are extremely vindictive people just like police they investigate, they are delaying this because they know it causes me significant distress and hoping I will commit suicide.

This is the first email I sent – to one of the head people at Masterton Police who was supposed to be looking out for me after I was violently arrested and humiliated Xmas Eve 2 years ago – when police hid the complaint I made and had to apologise about the violent arrest & humiliation.

EMAIL TO MASTERTON POLICE
New Complaint of Unnecessarily Violent Arrest yesterday 5 August 2016 – Plus Privacy Act Request

Mike,

I want to throw up writing this to you, but I know that’s what I have to do – I will contact Complaints in Wellington on Monday so I can get another email to send this too as not sure if I can trust you to do anything.

What happened yesterday is as much a result of the two previous complaints I have made about inappropriate cruel behaviour of police officers not being dealt with – as it is with discrimination on the basis of my disability and trying to stand up for my rights.

Firstly, under the Privacy Act and as part of this complaint can I please request a copy of the CCTV footage from inside & outside Carterton Police Station between 1.45pm and 2.45 pm, when I went there to make a complaint about two police threatening me at my home over Misuse of a Telephone complaints ACC was making.

I arrived to make a complaint about police turning up at my house yet again threatening me with misuse of a telephone, when only a matter of weeks ago charges were dropped, my lawyer gave me a list of reasons – one being the Alan Doris report detailing my tourettes/insulting/swearing stuff.  According to your staff it was because the person died.  For at least 10 mins I got every cliché in the book, including the lie that people had tried to help me but me but I refuse care.  Comments about me being mentally ill which is why I protest all the time and make this my job.  Derogatory comments about how I take police to court when I know my rights have been violated.

I was so upset that Alan, who I thought understood as he had been so nice to me in the past, actually thought the same as ALL the other officers about me being a time waster, liar, etc etc.  It is getting difficult to remember what they said as my brain rejects discrimination and that sort of hatred and ignorance – its just too painful and causes me to become highly suicidal – why would anybody want to live in this hell hole country with a stress disorder and reliant on abusive unprofessional mental health services.

I left the station very upset at many of the things that had been said – but at least I know what is being said – I just never understood why you refused to protect me under the Crimes Act, now I do.  The only way peaceful way I could react to what I had just been subjected to was go back to my car, get my chalk pen, go back to the station and chalk a swastika and CORRUPT on the front window.  I didn’t think oh this is going to get me arrested, or oh I’m going to be violently hurt by those police, I just do it – I know it is not against the law to protest in this way.  Bill of Rights law and the right to protest has a measure of reasonableness and what is justified in a civil society.  What happened next was out of all proportion to what I did.

The Maori policeman – same one who reluctantly took my complaint against High Court Security last week – came out grabbed me and proceeded to assault me and throw me on the ground.  I was freaking out, I never resist arrest and yet this man was really hurting me, he was digging his fingers into the tops of my hands so I was screaming, my hands are all bruised and sore.  He also grabbed my ear and twisted it, along with my left arm being twisted and thrown to the ground.  I have a bad bruise up the inside of my right arm, I think caused by the chalk pen somehow – when I showed them the bruise they kept saying it wasn’t them it had been there for ages – it was really strange.  I can appreciate they didn’t realise what they had done but to vehemently deny it was.  Alan was also part of assaulting me, I remember him with his knee on me on the ground.  I’m sure the CCTV footage will show you what happened.

I was tightly handcuffed, which cut into my wrist really badly so by the time I got to Masterton station my hand was blue and tingling – its now 4am and I havn’t been able to sleep and the bruise on my right wrist and hand are really sore.

I was put in the police car and taken to Masterton, Alan talked the whole way, his words dripping with sarcasm and obvious hatred, it was very distressing.  Every question about why I couldn’t get care I answered or explained but he refused to believe anything I said – I’m mentally ill after all – he just got nastier and more insulting.  Threatened me with finding out just how nasty he could be if I didn’t co-operate fully or said anything to defend myself.  Said something about pulling the victim card.

I mentioned there are several other things happening in my life at the moment that are causing me huge stress, particularly my flatmate who has a dog and been breaking things but not repairing or replacing him – he is very strange and I need him to leave but as usual I can’t say anything because my disorder kicks in and my mouth just won’t say the words.  Alan just became angry with me about it.  I also mentioned my uncle had died and all my family were in Nelson for the funeral but I couldn’t go mostly because I couldn’t trust my flatmate, plus the cost and the fact I am so fragile at the moment and it is not safe to be around my family – they insuilt me for not working.  I find being away from home very difficult – I find being at home very difficult when I get continuous visits from police for whatever reason.

When at Masterton police station I started to go into survival mode and curl up in a ball rocking backwards and forwards – I asked for a woman officer and was refused.  After what happened in Wellington last week I’m starting to freak out about being around men bullying and standing over me.  I ended up curled up in a ball in the cell or rocking backwards and forwards to try and calm myself.  I was so cold as I had gone into shock.  I asked for a doctor as my arm was really hurting and I thought it might have been some clot as a result of the handcuffs, the pain was shooting all the way up my am to my chest.  The ambulance was called and it was another man who said the bruising was from a blunt instrument and offered me pain relief, which I refused.

He left and CATT team turned up, I started swearing at them – as I do – and they left, why anybody would expect me to deal with the man who has rejected me from mental health services for over a decade is beyond my comprehension.  The stories people have told me about that man and he still has credibility and a job – even though it is only ACTING head of mental health for the past decade.

While I was waiting I became very cold, I had only just got over the flu and shock had set in, I asked for a blanket repeatedly but was refused.

I asked for a lawyer because Alan said he was going to keep me in the cells for as long as he chose and I was really frightened – I know you can’t hold someone with mental health issues longer than six hours, which is why I asked for a lawyer.  He bought me in a laminated piece of paper with the names on it – I knew my last lawyer Susie  was away and I don’t know any of the others so I said he could choose anybody.  I also told him I only wanted a lawyer because he was going to make me stay in the cells.   I thought Alan went away to call a lawyer but he didn’t.

He came back and said I would have to sign for my things and then leave the building.  I completely freaked out, apparently I was to catch a bus back to Carterton in the pouring rain – it wasn’t the rain that freaked me out – I can’t catch buses when I’m a mess like I was.  That’s the reason I havn’t been able to see the counsellor because ACC refuse to pay for a taxi, I can’t drive myself because I become too upset when going to counselling and I can’t catch a bus either.  People would see me crying, I would be completely humiliated, I wouldn’t even know how or where to catch it from as I become quite disoriented when that traumatised.  I ended up curled up in a ball in the corner under the counter with my hands over my ears mostly, rocking, repeating over and over I can’t catch a bus, I can’t catch a bus.  He just got angrier with me, threatened me with being forcibly removed from HIS station and went away to get others to help him.  I was so scared I just curled up in an even tighter ball in the corner.

At one point I said something about how scared I was after they assaulted me – he got really angry at that and told me he had not done anything of the sort and there was no way he was going to give me a ride anywhere after accusing him of it.  I explained that I thought it was mostly the other officer that did it, caused the bruising, but I didn’t really know, because he was involved in what happened outside Carterton Police station but I don’t remember what part he played.  I just remember being hurt for no reason and trying to do everything to make them both stop - ie being completely passive and silent and defending myself by curling up in a ball.

I’m going to be sick.

All those horrible things they said come back to me in flashbacks which make me really unwell.  Like their comments about me making a career out of protesting etc – if I had the care I am entitled to I wouldn’t be protesting.  I make it my job because I am so unwell and I don’t want to die, I want my care back so I can heal and return to work.  What person would choose to live in poverty with no job and a future of homelessness and dysfunction.  I have a report saying I’m intelligent, without the care I need I will die and suffer for the rest of my life – I’m only 51 of course I fight for what I am entitled to.  Also it keeps my mind occupied – I’m not the sort of person that reads fiction all day, watches movies and spends there days asleep, wandering around, drugged or drunk – like most mentally ill people rotting on welfare that I know.

I also have a skin cancer that has returned and am worried about it because last time I had the money to have it removed, this time I have to rely on health system and it will take months – it has already taken four weeks just to get on the waiting list.

Alan eventually offered me the option of going to get my car across from police station in Carterton, which I agreed to – my car is my safe place when I am away from home and I thought I would be OK to drive home.  While waiting for him in the reception of the police station, I was so so cold, I was frightened of all the people around me and cowered when someone came out from inside the building.  I sat there mostly rocking backwards and forwards with my hands over my ears.  I remember becoming really distressed, sobbing and crying, whimpering that I wanted to go home, please I just want to go home, please I just want to go home.

I was arrested around 2pm and got home around 6.30pm.  I’m exhausted and tried to sleep but it only lasted 2 hours and I woke up crying because my hand/wrist was aching and I can’t believe what happened – all this for begging for the care I am entitled to under ACC, health, disability, criminal, imperial, human rights and bill of rights laws.   Last week I couldn’t sleep on my right side because of the bruising from High Court Security and this week its my left.  I have won two ACC reviews and still they refuse to reinstate my care – they offer me things knowing I can’t act on them because I am now so unwell.  I have the support of Dr Doris and Jenny Kirby, plus I am sure all those people who worked with me in 2009 when I did have the beginnings of a professional rehabilitation plan.

If you think like those two officers think about me being offered heaps of professional care etc and refusing – then you are very very wrong.  I can explain everything and I am sure these two would back up what I am saying about the ‘phobias’ after everything that has happened.

I am tired now, its 5am and I think my flu is returning after being so cold yesterday and so traumatised, I’ll see if I can sleep.

Please make this stop I am begging you, please uphold the law, I just want to get better and go back to work so I don’t have to live with people who take advantage of me and steal from me – or attempt suicide.

Please make this stop – I am begging you – I’m going to be contacting the United Nations about what is going on.  There are rules and laws, you just can’t treat a disabled woman like this – especially one who knows her rights and is non-violent.

Please note also my screaming at ACC is not a threat of harm, it is more a warning about what spirit is going to do to them if they don’t provide the treatment care and rehabilitation for people mentally injured by abuse and trauma.  When I am so unwell because of being denied care I am entitled to all I can do is hope and pray what happened to me, at the hands of a badly abused child that never got the ACC care he was entitled to, happens to them – as they are the ones causing this nightmare.  As you know I go tourettes on it I am so angry and frustrated – I never used to swear   I also know the science of trauma and I know the more we dont’ help people, the more people traumatised around them and it just gets bigger and bigger – which is why our prison population is exploding.

I just want me and others to get the care I know we are entitled to – and the safe homes to live in, which we are also entitled to.

God please help me -

God please help you, I know those officers probably didn’t mean to hurt me like they did, something came over them, it was really scary – they just lost all reason.  Its weird, its like they are trying to cover up guilt, or attack something that they know is wrong but also they know is weak.  Its like they’re attacking all vulnerable people like me – yes vulnerable, or more correctly fragile, they’re attacking all poor people or disadvantaged people because they want to believe everything they see on TV and the media about how great NZ is – when it is not.

Please help me, there are so many angry people in the Wairarapa and around New Zealand I just know things are going to blow – even worse than they have so far this year – I can feel it all around me – people are so angry and tired of struggling while the very richest make life better for themselves and harder for everybody else.

Can you please advise you have received this complaint and the Privacy Act request and about how long it will take to be investigated and dealt with – please also tell me if you are going to do nothing, rather than me being ignored.

Sincerely

JR
Civil Society Actor
HUMAN SEWAGE

 

Support my fight 4 justice – GiveALittle – Speak Truth to Power

Have managed to get a Give A Little page up and running, cause I need those people who support what I do and how I do it to help fund my activism, poetry, art, challenges to law, etc and take some of the pressures of poverty off my shoulders.

With your help we can change the world for some of the most vulnerable and disadvantaged people in our beautiful country and other places.

I have called it a fight for professional health care because I know what people are currently receiving doesn’t even follow health models or a dozen different health, welfare and justice laws (both NZ and United Nations laws).

Kia kaha to all those who understand and live this nightmare.

Kia kaha to all those who understand and don’t know how to stop what is happening.

Kia kaha to all those who don’t really understand, have decent lives but know what’s happening is wrong.

Kia kaha to all those police, justice and political people I talk to who feel powerless and tell me there is nothing they can do, even when they know I am right.

Kia kaha to us all   – Jayne

https://givealittle.co.nz/cause/fight4mentalhealthcare/