Category Archives: Uncategorized

Kill Me Quick

I’m a completely worthless waste of air
You chose a government that’s cruel not fair
Every National voter should kill me quick
Living life so degraded is sick

My story’s rejected by those on show
I’m rejected because of the things I know
My heart bleeds for all those bad things done
By people who say you deserve no-one

My kids have to live with a useless parent
Someone so worthless, well that’s apparent
10 years left rotting on welfare
Cause it’s not fiscally prudent to provide health care

Running round and round on their torture wheel
Getting whipped and beaten, so how do you heal
And when I tell someone of my plight
They attack me – LIKE I PICKED THIS FIGHT!

Every National voter must take the blame
For violent & suicide, our nation’s shame
For all those abused who get inadequate care
For those that hurt them the lion’s share

You find it abhorant those that abuse
Yet for those they’ve hurt, it’s neglect that you choose
Although our laws spell out the road
You leave us writhing under this heavy load

Nobody takes responsibility it’s true
Not the worker, the boss, politician, not you
You assure those at the top get money and praise
While those at the bottom you persecute degrade

God defend New Zealand
God defend our free land
From neo-liberal extremists now running this place
Who’ve turned New Zealand into a fucking disgrace


It’s All Bullshit – JR Murphy – EMINEM vs NZ National Neo-liberals

It’s all bullshit
Run by cock suckers
Backed up by some very stupid mother fuckers!

Stamp our crime they use judges, use lawyers use screws
Use marketing, public servants, policemen and news

Now lets get things straight
It don’t start at the end
Violence and addiction
Means a broken heart we MUST MEND (x5)

Seven years of neglect
It will take to destroy
The kindest of hearts
Man, woman, girl or boy

It’s the top of the cliff
We should centre attention
Not put the traumatised
Under detention

Why would they change it
Those ones with the power
They make money off us
Feed egos to feel superior

How long can these wankers
Keep ignoring the facts
Against scientific evidence
Their approach DOESN’T STACK (x5)

House and feed people well
Give them asylum
Nurture their souls
Never ever neglect them

And when you’ve helped them
Become unwound and calm
Then you can work on
The ‘not’ that caused harm


But after that’s done
Don’t turf them out
Leave them foundering
Then do fucking nowt
Or everything that has been said and done
Will be instantly and completely unfucking done

They know what to do
To stamp out most crime
Instead they ignore it
Drive people out of their mind

See I know for sure
Can tell your straight
From six years of study
I can confidently state



Now lets see what happens when I sing this outside the Eminem vs National Party courtcase in Wellington next week – tehehehehe.  Dont’ you just love art and freedom.


Wherefore Art Thou ACC – rapped to I’m A Soldier – EMINEM

Wherefore art thou ACC
Wherefore art thou ACC

No matter how you phrase it the law tells me the rules
It’s meant for my interpretation you bureaucratic fools
The times I’ve used the law before I haven’t need help
But now I am incapable of fighting for myself

Don’t tell me I am wrong I’ve read it in the act
How ACC are their for us why do you ignore that fact
You come and clean my toilet to get me on my feet
But when I ask for help with parenting you tell me not to bleat

No matter how far down the cliff I’ve gone I’m never far enough
Until I lose my sanity things gunna be real tough
I want to scream it in your face I tried with mental health
But I know you just won’t listen because I have no wealth

I am a body and a mind no more important than the other
I don’t deserve this treatment it just keeps me in the gutter
Cause I had no status in your eyes cause I was just a student
Its a case of human rights abuse to you its fiscally prudent

Wherefore art thou ACC
Wherefore art thou ACC

And as I sing this rap I feel better about myself
I’m not a wasted loser just a product of ignorance
I don’t have cuts and bruises legs not severed at the thigh
And I never got the help I needed keep on asking why

The blood pools all around me drips from every piece of art
What does a person do with such a badly broken heart
Every time I ask for help it gets increasingly harder
Rejection’s like a hunters knife giving deep wounds to my mana

I’m filled with toxic shame a festering type of wound
But all you wanna give me are drugs to change my mood
It seems so obvious to me what needs to be done
Treat the mentally injured the same as anyone

Ignore me at your peril I’m not about to go away
I will demand that you obey the law
And stop – this – twisted – game you play

Wherefore art thou ACC
Wherefore art thou ACC



Stay Stay Away – song dedicated to Wairarapa Police

Stay Stay Away

My voice shatters the silence
This shit I’m in is grave
If only you had listened
If only you’d stayed away

But you jumped in your car
And you sped it this way
If only you had listened
Wouldn’t be singing in the cells today

(stay, stay away)

As I sat there and I waited
Police could see the tears on my face
Of your time and my honour
It’s such as bloody waste

Cause you jumped in your car
And sped it my way
If only you had listened
Wouldn’t be singing this song today

My voice cuts through the silence
As you drove me home today
Wish you your tazer gone for good
With my life you would not play

You just jumped in your car
And sped it away
To me you’ll finally listen
And away you then will stay

(stay, stay away)


Awesome – love it – can’t wait to sing it outside the police station in next couple of days. They needn’t think I’m gunna sit back and just accept this treatment.



Open Letter to New Zealand Ministry of Social Development

16 October 2014


Mr Rob Brown

General Manager

Office of Corporate & Governance

Ministry of Social Development

PO Box 1556





Dear Mr Brown


Thank you for your recent letter I am disappointed the Chief Executive refuses to deal with this matter himself, as it doesn’t appear he has spoken to a disgruntled disabled person on long term welfare, however I will do my best to respond to your letter.


My expertise is in stress disorders, psychology, using welfare, health and justice agencies.  12 years of study to try and understand what was happening to me after I was raped and how useless mental health services were to heal and support me.  I have barely worked in this time and currently spend around 70 hours per week trying to get treatment care and rehabilitation as well as protesting to highlight the gross miscarriage of justice going on in ACC and mental health services.


The majority of your staff are of course not directly responsible for the Ashburton killings.  However it is the ever increasing degrading policies and demands WINZ makes of disabled unemployed people that is.  I cannot believe you don’t understand what degrading hell it is to walk into a WINZ office year after year.  To have to tell a stranger what a loser you are, how little money you have and all your personal details.  At the same time you are watching the person at the next desk begging for help as well – you know details about why they are there.  I want to be able to TELL you these types of stories so you understand what people are going through.


I attended a series of lectures on Public Policy early last year, at one of these it was explained how there was a concern that senior public servants were not being told important information from middle management.  This is the only explanation I can think of for why you are not aware of the degrading nature of your processes and environment you have created.


Also I know there are people in your office who decide how much money people on welfare receive.  My case manager told me she could not live on what I was getting, but expected me to.  I was in a very unstable and dangerous living situation at the time – I already have a life-threatening stress disorder and this made it much worse.  Behind her on the wall was a large mural saying te tangata, te tangata, te tangataI (Wainuiomata office), this is so offensive to someone begging for help.  I want to tell you about some of my experiences at WINZ, my case managers have all been good people, it is what they are expected to do that is damaging, humiliating and degrading.


Every person who has ever been on welfare for any length of time blames MSD for what happened in Ashburton.  Roydon Christie on Breakfast the morning after the shootings first comment was I wonder what happened to that man.  You must know this, I can’t believe you take absolutely no responsibility for this considering the increasing levels of violent incidence – why do you think this was happening.  It was happening because people were being degraded further and denied more.

The narrow parameters of the review, have avoided the issue of degrading services and people driven to breaking point with unstable housing & income.  Have these violent incidents increased since 2011 when the National party changed the law and criteria for disabled people.  When WINZ started employing its own staff to define people’s level of health and support they should get?  I have spoken with Rob Robinson and Murray Jack about this.  I was so extremely concerned with the way the Ministry and Minister had absolved themselves of any responsibility on news media following the tragedy.


Unfortunately Mr Brown the tragedy at Ashburton was entirely predictable for those of us living in the darklands of New Zealand, things out here are very difficult and really harming people psychologically.  It was made even more insulting when the National party covered New Zealand in signs saying WORKING FOR NEW ZEALAND.  For those of us who cannot work due to lack of health and welfare services it is an insult as the NZ government are not working for us.


Due to my protests about the appauling state of mental health care for abused, disabled and mentally ill people I hear dozens of terrible stories.  I get a huge amount of support for my protests from people on the street. I believe my knowledge and ‘lay-expert’ opinion is important to MSD if they TRULY want welfare offices to be safer places for clients and staff.


Recently I was insulted by a young woman covered in tattoos and piercings, drinking red wine from a cup in a van of similar people across from the High Court –they were there supporting a friend who had done something really bad.  She insulted me for not working and said at least all of them had jobs and I was just a loser who wanted attention.  I am a good person, I do not associate with bad people, don’t have any tattoos and only my ears pierced.  Until I was charged with wilful trespass of Law Society ACC and Ministry of Health this year (because I couldn’t get a lawyer or services I was entitled to) I had never had a criminal charge.  There have been other instances of degrading insults about not working and I need to TELL you about them, explain what happens – even with my own extended family who are ashamed of me.


Did you have an ‘independent’ senior psychologist/psychiatrist on the review board to advise your department of the adverse psychological impacts of increasing security on the already traumatised and stressed disabled unemployed?  Also did you get ANY feedback at all from clients of WINZ in Ashburton.  Why do you think another worker killed herself two days later then?  It so happens I know a senior employee who had left the office only weeks before the killings – she had been desperate to get out she hated it so much, she was ashamed of working for WINZ – why do you think that is.


This letter is intended to assist MSD and to stop more people flipping out and hurting innocent people.  I am devastated by what happened, when I spoke to Rob Robinson and Murray Jack I cried when I said how disappointed I was in myself, that maybe if I had protested more, written more letters, done more to expose just how bad mental health services were and how degrading poverty was in New Zealand then maybe Ashburton wouldn’t have happened.


 I understand why you put in more security but I can assure you it is degrading and intimidating.  Again I have information with regard to this that you need to hear.  I believe the recommendations were short-sighted and over-zealous, you are never going to stop random acts like this.  But you can stop degrading people on long-term welfare.  Bill English said before the elections how people on long-term welfare were like P addicts, they became addicted to it.  I was insulted and horrified that a cabinet minister would say something as ignorant as this.  I have been fighting for years to get health care I am entitled to so I can heal and get back to work.  This is ignorance combined with bigotry at the highest level and should not be allowed to impact on services WINZ provides as required by law.


You may have taken all steps to protect staff, but you don’t appear to have acknowledge the degrading hell people on long-term welfare are being subjected to.  Psychological torture is what it is, ask anybody who has been on long-term welfare – do you survey clients?  Especially when you are an intelligent person but too dysfunctional to work and keep getting refused services you know you are entitled to.


You talk about the physical safety of staff, but what about the psychological safety of staff and clients.  Although my WINZ case managers have been great I have been told of other people that are not – some who are particularly degrading of men.  Can you imagine what it is like for a man to be sitting begging at WINZ, at the table next to him there is a woman ticking shaking and crying.  His teenage son is watching him tell the case manager they are about to be evicted because his benefit has been cut because he didn’t get some mail.  Of course you would be aware that the way offices are now set up people can hear the next person’s business.  The man I referred to above had a security officer hovering nearby, his benefit was restored immediately but they refused to backdate it.  Men don’t cry, men bottle it up and they get angry – that is human nature.  I was scared of the man’s anger too but could understand why he was like that – you must know this is happening.


I know what the function of the security guards is, but I also know it is stressful, traumatising, degrading and threatening to have them there.  How would you like it if there was security all around you because another senior public servant had gone mad and killed people.


Please meet with me, you need to hear what I have to say, even if you don’t like it.  Like several people on the street have told me – it needs to be said and MSD need to acknowledge just how degrading their services have become.


This letter also gives you the authority to look at any of my files, police, mental health, ACC and WINZ.  You can see what has happened to me over the years rotting on welfare I have nothing to hide.  Now I want you to think about giving me authority to look up anything about your financial situation, health status, living situation, family and friends or legal issues.  This is what you expect unemployed people to provide and you can’t understand how degrading this is – I find that difficult to believe.


I would ask you to seriously consider meeting with me, only two hours of your time and maybe you will have a better understanding of what is happening to me and others.  I can assure you I will be respectful during our meeting but I will also be emotional as you can’t go through what I do and not be.  Also please ask yourself, why a person such as myself hasn’t worked for so long?  I think this letter shows I am reasonably intelligent, the reasons for this I would prefer to bring up during our meeting.


I can be contacted on                                        if you wish to arrange a meeting, please hear what I have to say, it is vitally important.


Yours sincerely



Take Your Blinkers Off – JR Murphy – To Paula Bennett & John Key

Take you blinkers off I say
With people’s lives your do play
The police are left to sort this out
While mental health do less than nowt

If you arrived dripping in blood
If you staggered in as you could
Would you expect to be turned away
Told its not bad enough you can’t stay

Back on the streets of this masters town
Neglected, rejected, oppressed, put down
They keep the suicidal from view
If only you knew, if only you knew

But you don’t want to see
How the system treats ones like me
So you put up barriers left and right
Leaving the only option fight, fight, fight

Fight that unseen enemy
Those that choose neglect are many
Giving excuse after excuse
Not taking responsibility for this abuse

Although I endure a stress disorder
That sees me on the edge, the boarder
No-one comes to sort shit out
All they do is look and spout

Of course almost dead is not enough
Living with suicidal ideology is tough
They know it – I’ve studied
So why neglect people bloodied

Compare us to the strongest man
Would he say any weight I can
I can lift 100 maybe two
But even I know what I can’t do

And what if this strong man
When asked to bear all weight he can
Was put in water above his head
Well that’s real easy – he’d soon be dead

I’ve lived like this for months, for years
Thousands of hours, thousands of tear
Trying to make you do what you say
But you keep the power at the end of the day

And with this power you do abuse
Neglect, reject, oppress, refuse
The backlash we see in social stats
Dysfunction, addiction, violence, the facts

Do something my peopld
Don’t leave us to cry
Rescue us from this place of neglect
Or watch innocent die


I wrote this a few years ago, it breaks my heart that two innocent WINZ workers were killed because our media and politicians refuse to believe what I say in my poems and say about how abusive and degrading mental health and welfare services now are.

Evil Lives Inside Me – JR Murphy

5.   Evil Lives Inside Me

To become that which I dream of
To start the journey as a wholy being
Living in syncronicity
Living with holy meaning

To be enlightened by the darkness
Surely the greatest human feat
To feel my heart smashed to pieces
See the light within extinguished

Standing at the ledge of death
Battered by a hurricane
Feet rooted like a might tree
Trunk broken but not in vain

Those spiritual roots stay alive
Through the greatest power that reigns
The power of the universe
Is coursing through my veins

When the evil overtakes me
No-one to pull me out
Let the evil live inside me
Show it great respect

Don’t empower it with anger
Don’t feed it with fear
Let it find expression
In the tom tom, bass and snare

All those kind and gentle people
Calling on God to bring us peace
For those so angry and afraid
A mere wish to slay a beast

Research, marketing, meeting, conference
And really so little difference
At the cliff face nothing changes
Still not enough funding and to much ignorance

A meteor burned in atmosphere
A shooting star to wish upon
All the pain that I have suffered
Will change the system because its wrong

Never END

This poem is apt today as yet another huge amount of mental health money is funnelled into fkn bullshit research.

This funding appears focused on intellectual disabilities and yet again ignores sexual and physical abuse victims, who are currently missing out on huge amounts of professional treatment, care and rehabilitation thanks to corrupt ACC processes.

Also a note to Roydon on the Breakfast show when he said a few weeks ago how great it was that more people were turning up to apply for jobs thanks to government welfare reforms last year.  The extra people are of course disabled, abused/traumatised and mentally ill people – those who are never going to be employed but the government insist they be repeatedly degraded and psychologically tortured by being forced to apply for jobs.  Many of these people have been ‘dysfunctional’ since children, but as soon as they turn 17 are considered adults and then subject to discrimination and being despise by the media and an ignorant society.