Category Archives: Diary

Got convicted of GRAFFITI today – Listen to what happened

What a day after 18 months of waiting apparently I’m not guilty of Wilful Trespass but am guilty of Graffiti – but I won’t be punished or sentenced unless I commit another crime – WHICH I DEFINITELY WILL BE.

So got to Lower Hutt court – which is 1 hour drive from home (please note: I can’t find a flatmate so rent is $260 & invalids benefit is $410) petrol cost $20.  If I wanted to get the decision in Masterton I would have had to wait until March 2018 before the revolting corrupt fascist elitist VERY OLD judge was here again and I would have killed myself having to wait that long.

I was nervous of course, waiting outside court was a young man sitting on the low walls around the front area, with gardens full of cigarette butts.  He offered me a cigarette a couple of times to deal with the stress – so I did.  Big sign on the Lower Hutt court house said NO SMOKING – should have got a photo.

We talked about why I was there, he was 100% behind what I was doing and felt the same way about the government, inequality, justice, etc.  Was nervous and needed to do something.

I went and did some chalking in front of the court house that said:

NZ law No 1

Westminster Statute the 1st

  • common right be done to all rich as poor

NZ law No 2

Magna Carta

No-one shall be destroyed and everyone shall have access to right and justice



We’re not shares to be traded

We’re not pawns in a game

We’re not doing OK

And we’re not the ones to blame


Then a comment about how if wealthy govt violate Laws 1 & 2 then poor people don’t have to abide by any laws wealthy govt makes.


While I was doing it a young officer came along and started asking me questions, telling me I had been in trouble before for chalking and that I shouldn’t be doing it.  I told him it was all legal and I wasn’t going to stop, that I knew my rights, it was chalk.  He asked me what it was all about – my response was – can’t you read.  He kept annoying me and I got angry, I don’t have to answer his questions, told him politely several times to leave me alone, he didn’t so I started swearing at him.   Got very heated and he threatened me with being arrested and put in prison – I think the prison threat was pretty funny.  Came very close to being arrested BEFORE COURT.

Thankfully not far from us was the man I had just been talking to and a Dominion Post journalist.  So I started raising my voice so they knew what was going on – there was no way I wanted to get arrested BEFORE COURT and NO WAY I was backing down when he was the one annoying me.  The officer asked me why I was being loud, so I told him, to make sure that journalist over there hears what happens to disabled activists like me for writing statements and poetry about justice on the street (well actually it was on court property technically).  Photos are on my facebook page /jrmurphypoetmusician

I finished my chalking while police officer phoned his boss and talked for quite a long time before he came back – with a vastly different attitude – I was just finishing.  He asked me a really cool question about why I had said poor people dont have to follow the law if their Westminister & Magna Carta rights had been violated.  Told him the story about 1200s when they were feuding and some people decided the fighting needed to stop, so they decided on a set of rules (LAWS) But there was NO WAY the peasants would agree to the rules if the rich didn’t have to – or were treated better.

Magna Carta also guaranteed above all else that govt wouldn’t destroy you and everybody would have access to right and justice.  Which currently doesn’t happen and is why we have so much violence – previous intelligent humans knew some pretty cool and interesting things about human behaviour under persecution – go figure.  I think man has become more stupid as we have evolved – or maybe its just those who lead us – groan.

Police officer also said he didn’t agree with what was happening to mentally ill people in the system.  I said how good that was to hear and all peaceful revolutions succeeded when police refused to take up arms against CITIZENS.  (Isn’t it a shame we don’t have this sort of news or discussion on mainstream media?)

While I was chalking my poem a young man came past on a skateboard – loved what I was doing.  Said he was working homeless, things weren’t good, police had offered to lock him up in the cells for few nights if he needed somewhere to stay – they weren’t kidding, they actually were trying to help him.  He had mental health issues as well.

I went back to sit down and another man arrived, he had a cool music box with him in a bag, big Maori/Samoan man.  We started talking and I discovered he had Complex PTSD like me, he was up on charges of assaulting a police officer, resisting arrest etc.  He was really worried (was expecting bracelet or prison for 3 mths) – the things he was describing about his behaviour were TYPICAL PTSD symptoms.

It was 9am, he said he didn’t have to be there until 2.30pm – I said he should keep busy, perhaps go down the river or to some big trees, that might help – it helped me in the past.  He said if he left he didn’t think he would return, so i agreed with him about staying.  He revealed to me – by the sounds of it all the talk about abused CYFS kids getting an inquiry had been triggering memories of his own abuse.

He said people told him he shouldn’t bottle it up, but he couldn’t let it out either cause he couldn’t control it and someone would get hurt – oh boy do I know how that feels – probably not as violently as him but I know the feeling very well.  I assured him he was right about not wanting to talk about what happened if he was getting violent with it – I told him how I was protesting about professional care for abuse victims like him and me, and health care that would help us through dealing with really bad trauma.  it took only a few minutes and we were talking like long lost friends – that happens a lot with me when I come across people with Complex PTSD.  Cause I have studied it for so many years I understand it very well and understand people who have it – people who don’t have it DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

We talked about not letting people get to you, when some toxic triggering shit came towards you how to pretend in your minds eye you are dodging it, it flies right past and ends up in a basket behind you.  Especially useful for inconsiderate, degrading or abusive families you supposed to get help from.  He heard me swearing at officer as well & understood.  Officer came back past and I apologised for swearing at him – I never used to swear – but then I wasn’t a terrorised persecuted disabled abuse victim being denied health care, a job, a safe home and justice back then.

I reassured him everything would be OK now we had a Labour government & Kelvin Davis was in the media recently saying how he was going to help people who ended up in prison system – especially those with mental health issues.  I told him to make sure he reiterated his mental injury from his violent childhood in CYFS care from 5 yrs old.

He told me about a time when CYF worker had dogs lead around his neck, the lead was slipped under a closed door and the man was pulling it tight so J…. couldn’t breath.  Another child was yelling  at the man he was going blue but he said something abusive and ignored it.  J….. passed out and remembered coming too being dragged along the corridor.  He said a nice social worker at the CYFS home tried to stop and expose the violent abuse but was sacked instead.

(Just so people know, even though he said he didn’t want to talk about it, when you meet someone who understands sometimes a particuarly bad unresolved trauma will come up and next minute you are telling a complete stranger.)  Forcing this process when the person is not in a safe emotional environment – IS NOT GOOD, IS IN FACT DANGEROUS AND LIFE-THREATENING TO THE PERSON.  Getting drunk often brings it out in the worst way – avoiding alcohol helps but its not DEALING WITH it.

Was so cool to meet him and hopefully help him through his day/life – he didn’t have anybody supporting him either.  Made sure he knew me and lots of other people felt exactly like him and had same problems.  I’ve tried to start Stress Disorder Support Groups before but govt wouldn’t let me – I don’t reakon they want all disabled people like us together because we would validate the symptoms of our EXTREMELY DEBILITATING AND SOMETIMES TERRIFYING DISORDER and work out our government, police and justice system were purposely persecuting mentally injured and ill disabled people.

A Dominion Post journalist came along, he was there for my case, but I didn’t want to talk to him – told him I didn’t like journalists so he backed off – which was cool.  He talked to my lawyer by text to find out what was happening. Didn’t take any photos of my chalking or poetry of course.

Several random people took photos and video of my chalking – which is awesome – more uploads and shares the better – more empowered people will be.

Next person I met was a Maori guy who was representing himself in court, had done it a few times before – he hated the justice system, oppressors of the poor and Maori – he was really cool too and admired what I was doing.  Again I was talking to someone like I had known him for years after 5 mins.  He would have heard me going APESHIT at the judge when I was convicted – told him I was going to sing and I did.

Went into court and watched previous case – AGAIN a mental health case involving violence and a man with anxiety and depression (ie suicidal).  How many cases of mentally ill disabled people are in our courts at the moment?????  It is common knowledge two thirds of people in jail are disabled with mental health issues – same people National govt took away right to vote from – now why do you think that was?????

Check out rest of my page and ask yourself WHY we hearing nothing from our two disability commissioners, the Human Rights Commission, Law Commission, Ombudsman, Auditor-General, Mental Health Foundation, etc  They not saying anything because a radicalised terrorist aspect of neo-liberalism is the requirement people who are driven to violence by abuse, prolonged neglect and severe stress are completely discredited, denigrated & blamed for their disorder – not the people who abused them or govt/society that neglected them.

I didn’t sleep last night and I have just become very very tired RIGHT NOW – will finish off tomorrow.



New Zealand No 1 for homelessness in OECD

Its weird in New Zealand how it takes international organisations to highlight some of the worst social problems – while our government, media and National party voting leaders throughout our communities DENY what is going on with everything they have.

Actually its quite deranged – its why I get the abuse, insults and being discredited that I do from those in authority here.  Why no local mayor will respond to my requests for a meeting about mental health, poverty homelessness etc – yet they are often on the front page of local newspapers welcoming new people here.  In complete denial these new rich people are driving out disabled poor locals.

I never thought of Wairarapa as some sort of red-neck cauldron of hatred against poor and love of rich – but it truly is.  The kids used to call it death valley when they were teenagers – they knew – it was for them of course, after neo-liberals drove all the manufacturing jobs overseas in the 80s and 90s, they also drove most of the young out of the region and to Australia.  I know a few people who ended up in Aussie and are so much happier – mostly with how they are treated by their bosses.

Been doing a lot on twitter at the moment, conversations from all over the world, lately the UK – people can’t believe how bad it is here – they have been brainwashed into believing New Zealand is this amazing beautiful place with pristine environment, lovely people and little crime – LOL.  NZ is great at marketing of course – that’s it – after years of exploiting our environment and degrading the poorest and most vulnerable we have some of the most polluted waterways in the world, we have the highest rate of suicide and homelessness in the OECD, highest rates of family violence (due to people being terrified, stressed and forced to live in dangerous situations).

All my years of protesting in Wellington – our capital city – telling people in power (especially in our judiciary) just how bad things are for me and so many others.  I certainly don’t get the abuse from people in suits I used to get when I started 7 years ago – don’t have any health care or a safe home ot live in either – go figure.

Being charged for Misuse of a Telephone for screaming for my ACC care to be reinstated after winning two reviews, and for graffiti with a chalk pen and wilful trespass must be getting under the skin of the police by now.  Those in power in the police are so corrupt and so much part of this radicalised neo-liberal terrorism by rich of poor, I do wonder if they truly realise what they are doing.  I reakon this election is certainly hitting home to those in justice, just how they have failed New Zealands poor – who they no know are being persecuted by rich – the oldest hatred in developed world – the reason we have laws was to stop rich and powerful persecuting poor and powerless.

Still praying my health care will be restored as my physical health is deteriorating, especially with my huge increase in weight – makes me feel like shit – I try not to let it.  My mental health swings from hope to complete despair, I can see how people are driven to bi-polar, along with living in a world that says it cares for you but really it HATES you.

In New Zealand our government and leaders HATE disabled and poor people so much they deny them somewhere safe to live – where we were once heralded as the most progressive and egalitarian country in the world – now we are EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE.  The rich here have got so much richer and the hatred they continue to inflict on those THEY MADE UNEMPLOYED AND THEY DENY HEALTH CARE, WELFARE AND HUMAN RIGHTS entitlements to is so disturbing.

That’s why I get terrorised by police and many others like I do, that’s why I am denied health care I am entitled to and yet those denying it tell police and community I JUST DON’T WANT HELP.

After my protest at Min of Health couple of weeks ago I am in discussions with a senior medical officer, a nice man, A NORMAL PERSON with manners and who acts like a professional, so hopefully that will get me some care – he’s working on it.  I’m trying not to get my hopes up as when they are dashed – like they always have been in the past – the suicidal nightmare in my head is BAD, REALLY BAD – dont’ think I’ll survive it if this fails.

Am still thinking about documentary I saw by Naomi Klein called The Shock Doctorine, the truth of how completely vile the super rich and our governments truly are is comforting for me.  All these years me and so many other New Zealanders – including my dad (who is dead now) have known something was very very wrong with our government and how they were controlling our economy/lives – all of us placated and told it wasn’t true, that government weren’t doing that to us at all.  That government had to do this to us, had to sell off all our public owned assets, had to privatise everything, had to exploit our environment until it was polluted and our kids got sick swimming in the rivers.  We were all so naive and so brainwashed, especially by those we knew who were doing OK and those in our news media.  Watching TV 1 adverts for how great their news is, how honest and local it is, how it tells the truth and covers all the angles – when I’m sitting here knowing they censor everything I know say and do and what is happening to me for legally protesting.

Watching the deceit and marketing coming from our media about suicide is the hardest thing to watch – knowing they are pushing suicidal people into services that are going to degrade, abuse and persecute them even more.  On Wednesday last week, stupid me, yet again phoned media begging them to tell my story and everything that was happening in Wairarapa – why we were NO 1 in NZ for suicide.  Had this woman from Newshub (Radio Live, TV 3 etc) (sure I’ve spoken to the revolting bitch before) on the phone encouraging me to talk, to start with I said I wouldn’t because she would call the police.  She assured me several times she wouldn’t and she would tell my story, but of course she didn’t, she phoned police who then spent the next 3 hours terrorising and threatening me.  This is how corrupt New Zealand media are – especially when it comes to the suffering of abuse victims who can’t get care they entitled to and become suicidal.  These media people love it, love terrorising people, love driving people to suicide and creating more news for themselves – its truly sick, but that’s what radicalised neo-liberals do.

I ended up taking a new friend of mine with me to the police station because after two stupid phone calls from police I knew they would end up at my house and it wouldn’t go well.  Lucky she was with me, cause they revolting cow (who has hidden complaints in the past) on the desk got one of the policemen who assaulted me to come out.  I said I didn’t want to see or speak to him, he came out anyway, it didn’t go well, I challenged him on his threatening violence against me for legally protesting and lying about Hoera assaulting me – he just stood there.  Then I started swearing, so time to leave.  You have to go and see them if someone has phoned you about mental health because that is what the government do in order to terrorise you.  The government don’t like people who suicide, it makes them look bad and their horrendous neo-liberal ideologies they inflict on us are proven to be the persecution of poor they truly are.

All the phone numbers at the end of every news item about suicide or self-harm that I know goes absolutely nowhere – yes there is someone there telling you they’re listening but they don’t do anything.  If your situation is too much for them those poor young people with psychology degrees who can’t get jobs anywhere else just hang up on you.  Wonder how many people they hang up on every day, how many times they phone police to come round and terrorise the person.

It is terrifying when police first start being involved when your mental health gets to the extreme after years of medical neglect and ongoing trauma.  You can’t understand why you would be treated like a criminal for asking for help – especially for me, when I had read ACC law and many documents on health care I was supposed to get BUT IT WASN’T AVAILABLE.

I WISH …………………………………………..  I think everybody who reads this blog will know what I wish for.

Kia kaha to us all

Sunday – TVNZ – Trouble In Mind

Was watching TV and saw the first adverts for latest Sunday programme on TVNZ which exposes police being used as mental health services, while they blocked me from their email & social media for BEGGING them to tell my story & protect me from persecution by police while I am denied mental health/ACC care.  Earlier in the night I had been listening to the radio and adverts by Wairarapa National MP Alastair Scott saying how much he enjoyed hearing peoples issues and helping them while he refused to see me or help me with what is happening to me.  Along with repeated adverts by Stopping Violence Services who have never replied to the desperate message I have left on their answerphone.

I had to write otherwise I will kill myself tonight – I couldn’t cry like I wanted to, had to hold back the wailing cry I want to do because I know I would never stop and this would also have meant I would kill myself.  You never really get used to being suicidal due to neglect by your own government and being illegally denied the health care and justice you know you are entitled under multiple NZ laws.

As my research has uncovered the PTSD I initially had after the rape has turned to Compounding Complex PTSD due to ongoing trauma & neglect.  CPTSD is extremely common in New Zealand but being misdiagnosed and covered up by govt & health professionals, as things like depression, personality disorder, bi-polar, attention seeking, lazy etc.  It wouldn’t have got to this if I had received the care I was entitled to but left untreated and added to by ongoing trauma due to lack of safe stable housing and being left disabled and vulnerable in our revolting community has left me a shell of my former self.

Sunday hurt the most when they do stories on OTHER PEOPLE regarding mental health but NEVER ME, never what I know, the laws being violated, never the persecution I am suffering at hands of corrupt police, who will do anything to protect what the government and justice agencies are doing to all disabled mentally injured abuse/trauma victims and mentally ill.  David Rutherford (Chief Human Rights Commissioner) was right in his comments on bullying that the people those being bullied go to for help and ignore you, cause more distress than the bullies themselves.

I begged Sunday for help, begged them, told them police were being used as mental health staff years ago – I was ignored, discredited and degraded for it.  There was no way my case was important enough or of interest to New Zealand public, no way exposing the FACT that people with mental health issues were suffering a gross miscarriage of justice after neo-liberals shut down vast majority of mental health facilities – not that many of these places weren’t houses of horror and torture for many of their residents.  I seldom watch the show because it triggers all the time I have begged them for help and been rejected.

Triggered by all the times I have begged politicians for help, including all Wairarapa MPs for past 15 years, all ACC ministers, all ministers of health, all prime ministers, any MP that ever made a comment on mental health, suicide or ACC – hundreds of them.  All sent letters and emails telling them that people with mental health issues were being persecuted and denied PROFESSIONAL health care and everybody was turning a blind eye to the persecution of an entire sector of society.

When you have studied the violence trauma and neglect industry you realise them psychologically torturing and rejecting you to save money, is done because of a bizarre neo-liberal cult-like belief that you should advance rich, disadvantage middle class and persecute those weak people in society if they can’t work or need help to work.

I cry and feel a waterfall of tears right behind my eyes, I get that often now, even when walking through town to get some exercise because I have been so unwell, become ‘frozen’ with trauma, havn’t thrown up enough (I am recognised as having bulimia but nothing is ever done about it, no matter how much I beg for help) and have put on a huge amount of weight that makes me feel BAD – really really BAD in so many ways.  In 2009 when I had some care, that was illegally taken by National government John Judge and Paula Rebstock, I had a gym membership with some amazing support from the instructors, co-ordinated by my very professional Occupational Therapist Glenda.

I was supposed to get this reinstated but ACC continue to refuse 7 years down the track.  I can’t think about how suicidal and dysfunctional I was after they dumped me, the 46 day hungerstrike and the lawyer who let me down so badly, took ACC to yet another review, which I won AND STILL I GOT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.  This continual telling me I would get services then not providing them is why my mental health deteriorated and I now ‘go tourettes’ when badly triggered.

Thankfully I can keep the violence towards others under control with a lot of prayer and understanding of my disorder – I am sure soon the suicidal hell I suffer so often will take me. Why would I want to stay upon this earth if I can’t work and have to live in terror of homelessness, abusive flatmates and a cruel majority of my community in power who are unprepared to listen to what I know, say and experience.  Yes I have a lot of supporters but what can they do, they can’t get me a house, they can’t force ACC or mental health to provide me professional health care.  I don’t burden those I love or I they would be traumatised to and I’m not going to allow this to be passed to the next generation – like so many do out of ignorance and severe dysfunction.

From what I can see in the advertisement for Trouble in Mind they are going to get again cover up that under human rights and bill of rights laws our government is discriminating against and persecuting mentally injured and ill people.  As I said in my Suicide Prevention Strategy it is a neo-liberal obsession that professional treatment and rehabilitation models are kept out of mental health services so they can create as many jobs as possible from HUMAN SEWAGE like me.

I cry because I know this is done on purpose, because neo-liberal terrorists are doing it in other countries and just like other countries our corporate media – who make a lot of money out of social dysfunction – are not telling the entire story and not pointing out the gross miscarriage of justice going on here.

When I think of all the times I have begged for help with what I know – that I set up this website and all my social media for – have dedicated my life to – how many men women and children have suffered, killed themselves, become violent or addicts because of these corrupt, criminally negligent, seriously disturbed people in government who prefer to spend taxes on cuts to top tax rates, MASSIVE govt debt interest repayments, building refurbishments, Saudi farms, charity to other countries, etc  Nope getting distraught can’t keep telling this story, too many traumas come into my head and the suicidal hell becomes overwhelming.

Its late, I’m exhausted I’ll post this and maybe finish it later if I can – I hope and pray journalists at Sunday see it and contact me to tell my story, that they will ask why I am up on 7 criminal charges for screaming for help from ACC and using non-violent forms of protest to express my disgust and distress.

All those people they purposely killed, all those families they destroyed with their neo-liberal hatred, their corruption and violations of so many laws and everybody who was supposed to protect us sat back and condoned or participate in it.  Because they were told if government persecuted an entire sector of society that was OK – THAT IS NOT OK.

This is what happens when those with money and unbridled power go completely mad.

Day of Activism in Wellington, New Zealand

Had an interesting day chalking poetry, attending question time, singing under Seddon and catching up with other activist friends.

Got to Wellington about 12.30pm started chalking comments about John Key, so can be seen from Bowen House and Beehive.  Photos up on twitter @jrmurphypoetry  Also called Judiciary corrupt over mental health care and bought up how much more money banks are making in interest since John Key became PM.

Then went and chalked two poems directly outside Supreme Court on Lambton Quay, good writing surface on large paving, different to footpath.  Had around 6 people stop and say how good my poetry was and good to see this sort of culture and art on the street.  Going to write to the council again and complain about them taking it off and that I have to pay for parking when in the city.

Met up with two friends and attended question time, we had to wait because gallery pretty full after Key’s resignation – several school groups.  I sat and watched govt first but got really upset watching John Key lie about the good he had done, especially for vulnerable people.  Had to leave the gallery crying, security staff up there are really nice to me, went over to other side of house so I didn’t have to look at his face and the other National MPs lying.  Especially about housing and health services.

Always need to have a debrief after watching question time, it is so infuriating – or have a sing and rant about how pissed off I am by what I just saw.  Also recited some poetry – Wasps In The Beehive.

There was a 1080 protest at parliament, would have participated but you can’t before you go into the house – its a rule, you’re banned for 24 hours.

Afterwards talked with friends, hoping to get my FILL THE GALLERY idea out into the Wellington community, focused on election year, disabled/students etc – representing all those people struggling and not happy with current policies.  Said how they were representative of people all over New Zealand that couldn’t make it to Parliament – lets send our polticians a message in election year that we’re going to be watching them and demand they represent and protect us as they are supposed to in a civil society.

Came home and uploaded photos to twitter – don’t know why I didn’t do a video – will next time.

Kia kaha and Aroha to us all.

Dear Diary – Sadly New Zealand Children’s Commissioner Judge Beacroft Corrupt

Woke up this morning with something on my mind and felt I needed to write it in another Diary note.

On Friday I did a protest outside SUPERU (once called Families Commission but govt changed name – George Orwell would be impressed with number of times NZ govt does this) which is on same floor as Children’s Commissioner – 7th floor 110 Featherston Street, Wellington.  Check out my youtube channel for video

I did expect to have police called as I know they’re scared of me there for telling the truth about how corrupt and abusive ACC, mental health, CYFS, Human Rights Commission, Ombudsman, police, etc are.  Instead I talked with a couple of people at length about how bad the situation is for mentally injured abuse victims and their families – seems they all understand it is ignorant miserly corrupt politicians creating most of this violence – but there is nothing they can do.

While sitting outside the lifts – as nobody has a reception area any longer because the government want these agencies to be away from any public scrutiny or challenge – they sit behind security doors instead I saw many people coming and going, one of them the Children’s Commissioner.

so Mr Beacroft had to stand waiting for the lift, seeing my painting about how badly me and other abuse victims are being treated.  I recognised him from news reports, which I know he was hoping I wouldn’t – his body language said it all.  So I challenged him, calmly and asked why he didn’t protect the boy who killed Arun Kumar and have ACC and mental health prosecuted under Crimes Act?  Why did a 12 year old boy, with a head injury who ACC and mental health failed repeatedly get prosecuted for murder when it was obviously the fault of those two dreadful, criminally negligent agencies?

Beacrofts body hunched over even more and he almost ran into the lift when it arrived, turned to me and repeated 3 times, I haven’t got time, I havn’t got time, I havn’t got time, then hung his head as the doors shut.  I knew then this revolting man, who has been sending disabled mentally injured abused children to prison for years, according to his profile is one of the most corrupt judges in New Zealand.  This of course is why the National Party would have put him in this position.  It makes my heart ache that our government and judiciary are that corrupt and have been for many years – and nobody has stood up to this gross miscarriage of justice.  This corruption is why I get refused the professional treatment care and rehabilitation I am entitled to under law, its why my complaints of harm under Sections 150A 151 155 157 of the Crimes Act against ACC and others gets ignored.  Its why ACC, police etc instead drag me through court repeatedly for screaming for care I am entitled to after winning two ACC reviews and legally protesting in a NON-VIOLENT away about this injustice.

If an intelligent educated 51 year old woman like myself cannot get the treatment care rehabilitation and justice we are entitled to under New Zealand and international law – then no child is going to.  My passionate protests have been motivated by the suffering and injustice abused children, women and men are going through unnecessarily – I wish I could use that feeling to motivate me in other ways – to stop me eating, get me exercising again, get me sorted around home and find just a little joy in the world.

Its extremely sad that people in power, including police, judges, human rights, etc know what I am saying is true about ACC, mental health and the NZ government but they are committed to keeping up this persecution because neo-liberal politicians say they should.  Ignorant bigoted cruel radicalised abusive corrupt men and women who sit in organisations dedicated to protecting disabled and poor – they are the PASSIVE AGGRESSIVES I talk about.  They are experts at being nice about what is happening and blaming everybody but themselves – after all they are just doing their jobs – and if they weren’t doing what our corrupt abusive politicians said then they wouldn’t have jobs.

I despise the NICE people even more than the CRUEL people – the only solace I get at the moment is knowing under international law when this persecution of mentally injured abuse and trauma victims finally gets exposed then all those people involved will be liable to criminal prosecution.  These people who are allowing the government to withhold health care, access to legal representation and necessaries of life – like a safe house to live in are no different to those who sent Disabled Gypsies and Jews off to the gas chambers.  Now we send people off to kill themselves or kill others – there’s money in that for the corrupt rich and powerful – money in that for judges, lawyers, security firms, justice agencies, welfare agencies, mental health workers, etc.  The similarities between what happened with the NAZIs persecuting minorities and what’s happening with NEO-LIBERALS persecuting minorities are glaringly obvious to me who is LIVING THIS NIGHTMARE.

It makes it worse of course when you live in a street, town, region, country where most people are doing relatively OK.  Where we get bombarded over and over every day what a paradise we live in and how great it is compared with other countries.  Every day on all forms of media its repeated over and over again – so when someone like me comes along and says THE OPPOSITE I am persecuted for it – people refuse to accept it – THE MESSENGER IS SHOT.  Like the group of Wairarapa police officers who feel it is their job to silence, discredit and then abuse me for what I say.

Its the same reason New Zealand media refuse to tell my story or what I know about the truth of just how badly we treat abused children, women and men – how badly we treat families.  The truth that cutting state housing was a terrorist act against mentally injured traumatised people – who were by far the greatest number in state homes.  If you had a traumatic childhood the state helping you by giving you somewhere to live was the least it could do.  It is another deep sadness for me that people who have had good childhoods, been safe and supported, mostly wealthy people – are the ones who are stopping these traumatised people getting homes now.  Worse than that they are getting 30 years of governments to sell off housing so they can buy it – as so much of it is now in desirable housing areas and they don’t think poor disabled people deserve to live in nice areas.

My poem ASIAN BITCH comes to mind, look it up, about my people being greedy and cruel and feeding off the broken – about not learning anything from WWII.  When we violate human rights for minorities (like disabled mentally injured abuse victims and traumatised) we are bringing back the environment that created WWII.  Human Rights laws came out of WWII, some very clever people worked out how Hitler and his NAZIs came to power – things like they stopped FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION by artists like myself – they controlled media.

NZ government created the HPO – Health Promotion Agency to brainwash New Zealanders with propaganda, especially around violence.  They try and make violence NOT ACCEPTABLE when it is the government who pays them that creates most of the stress, discrimination and environment that causes this violence.

I studied to become a lawyer because I believed in the law – now I really understand that the judiciary were willing participants in putting 10,000s of disabled mentally injured abuse victims & traumatised people in prison – knowing they were not receiving the health care they were entitled to under multiple NZ laws – my entire world has been shattered.  Had an excellent discussion when being processed at Wellington Central police station one time with a security guard who was ex-prison officer in 1980s, said prisons filled up when mental health facilities were emptied.  That is blatant discrimination and persecution of disabled mentally injured and mentally ill people – same people who have had housing issues for decades that our media and politicians ignored, until similar housing issues started happening for middle class.

Been feeling – weird/different for a few weeks – trying to accept this gross miscarriage of justice and corruption in my own country, that majority of citizens and rest of world thinks is paradise. 🙁

Dear Diary – I’m living in Heart of the Darklands Twilight Zone – New Zealand

I’m not sure what dissociation means – I’ve read about it with regard to mentally injured abuse victims but didn’t fully understand it – I think I’m starting to.  Everything is like walking around in a movie, like nothing is real, nothing interests me, I know in my heart everything I try to do will fail – as it always fails.  Yet everywhere I look there are media and people saying how we live in Paradise and today Theresa Gattung (used to be CEO of Telecom on $millions) was saying how easy it is to be a successful woman in New Zealand.

Perhaps its the pre-Christmas thing, everybody happy or pretending to be happy, when most are stressing out, drinking more, eating more, spending more, to try and feel happy – but mostly people are more angry, frustrated and despondent.

Today the Police Complaints Authority person who handling my current assault case phoned me after a distraught email begging to get this shit with group of police HATERS in Wairarapa sorted.  She was really nice – I hate it when people nice, it makes me cry.  My friend K said the same thing today – she’s just been told she has to leave her house and is freaking out, along with all the other shit she is going through.  I saw her outside a local café, drinking water, she was on the verge of tears.  Poor K I can’t help her either, I’ve now got so many issues with moving, HER BEING FORCED TO MOVE freaked me out as it brings up all the traumatic moves I have been forced to make since I was raped in 2002.

Anyway the IPCA woman was really nice and yes I became really upset, kept saying I didn’t want the officer/s to get into trouble I just wanted to know why they said those revolting things to me and why they thought victimising me for being unwell, not getting care I am entitled to and fighting through my protesting was OK – WHEN IT DEFINITELY IS NOT!  I HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT WITHOUT POLICE GIVING ME SHIT!

I had sent a couple of emails to Inspector Howard but she sent a shitty email saying it was up to the IPCA.  Bloody hell, I don’t want the police assault bought up at the trial for 7 charges of screaming at ACC to have my care reinstated and protesting because I couldn’t get a lawyer to make them – and have tried EVERY complaints process there is in this shit hole – none of them work.

The idea of brining up an assault at a Bill of Rights trial makes me feel like I’m back on trial for rape – and we all know how that turned out, rapist was found not guilty even when he admitted it.  I kept telling her I needed this stress with police off my plate as it was making my disability/stress disorder much worse.  I wanted this matter dealt with before the trial so I didn’t have to face the officer – I picture it in my head the state I will be in and it will not be pretty.  One of those situations where I will have to self-harm to cope, oh how my mental health has deteriorated due to the unprofessional, often abusive care I have been subjected to by ACC, mental health, NGOs and police.

I know I’m waffling – I’m tired but I can’t sleep, needed to get this shit out – my heart hurts.  I still can’t believe I am being subjected to all of this just for wanting and needing the professional treatment care and rehabilitation ACC law says I am entitled to.  Also health, disability, criminal, imperial, human rights and bill of rights say I am entitled to.  So many people in New Zealand don’t even know what they should be getting and our corrupt government have manipulated the situation and dumped mental health care onto WELFARE agencies – WTF?  There is something very corrupt going on and it relates to getting abuse victims professional health care they entitled to – but the government and particularly ACC do not want to pay.

I don’t understand though because care of abuse victims that are children or on welfare doesn’t come from levies, it comes from the Consolidated Fund.  Of course those sicko money men doing $billions worth of investments want to make sure they have lots of money to play with – they don’t care where it came from.

I’ve also been sickened by an #attitude award ceremony I saw was on this week, which was marketed over social media as being about how great disabled people were.  WTF.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Troll abusing me for comments about ACC Minister Nikki Kaye MP – I do have cancer!

Actually I do have cancer, skin cancer.  It took me 3 weeks to get to see a doctor about it, another six weeks before she would put me on a waiting list and 12 weeks before I get any treatment.  Wonder if any politician gets this sort of health care.

Most of those delays are related to my stress disorder because ACC refuse to reinstate the treatment care and rehabilitation I had illegally removed in 2009 – when National got in.  I have won two reviews but still ACC refuse to do it so I am very unwell and find it difficult to communicate in times of stress – especially with health professionals.

I should have a mental health worker, who would have helped me access services but ACC refuse.  My doctor despises me, just like the previous 10 doctors who hate all people with mental health issues because there are no services – so they just attack the person.

Nikki Kaye has been instrumental in ensuring I did not receive the care I am entitled to, so I cannot return to work and have to live in unsafe living situations with this nightmare CPTSD disorder.  I have written to her, she knows my case and refuses to do anything about it.

I found it interesting you have suggested what has been happening to me is karma, when this was happening a long time before Nikki Kaye got cancer.  You obviously do not understand the principles of karma and the corruption and criminal behaviour of our government, who have been denying 1000s of abused men women and children the professional treatment care and rehabilitation they are entitled to and need under ACC, health, disability, criminal, imperial, human rights and bill of rights laws.

Next time police physically assault you and strip you naked in the cells for having cancer please feel free to contact me for some sympathy and advice.

Karma coming to all those in denial about how bad this country has become after 30 years of radicalised neo-liberal terrorists advancing rich, disadvantaging middle class and persecuting disabled poor – particularly people with mental health issues.


Guerrilla Activism in New Zealand by Civil Society Actor – Mental Health/Justice

Hi all,

Had to write about my day yesterday, from up at 5am to get to court in the morning until train home at 10pm.

Thought I had court all sorted was going there to plead not guilty and collect disclosure documents because my lawyer too busy in Wairarapa.  Hadn’t had any bail conditions prior to this, was in the dock when police wanted bail condition that I live at ..Ave, and I didn’t want any bail conditions.  I see this as just a way of police wanting to control me for no good reason and had previous bad experience having to leave a house where flatmate attempted suicide.  There had to be an urgent court hear so I could move.  Doing it now is an abuse of power, victimisation and of no value whatsoever.

Was really stressed going in anyway, so when they refused to remove condition I gave them a bollocking – with lots of swearing.  Bought up about police assaulting me and all the shit I get from them, 3 women in the room, one held onto the glass door so I couldn’t get out – which freaked me out.  Being locked up when you feel like that is revolting.  Security were called, who were AWESOME, said all the right things, that they would sort it out and I sat down.  Started freaking out anyway, rocking backwards and forwards, hitting myself as hard as I could, crying, eyes closed, hands over my ears.

Got so bad I had to crawl into the corner with the walls behind me to calm down.  Couldn’t hear what went on after that, not even sure how long I was there.  They sent in some clown from mental health, big tall bald white guy in a suit – ewww.  Sat down beside me, as soon as he said who he was I started swearing at him, big time, fucking mental health – they’re one of the reasons I’m in this mess.  Told him he was a maggot making money out of the people who were being refused care.  Called him a murderer, etc.  He got up pretty quickly and declared I was definitely not mental health and left – was hilarious and not unexpected – that’s what always happens.  (What do they expect when they refused me services for years, now best to give them shit and remember all those people who have committed suicide etc because of these maggots.)

Eventually I managed to de-escalate enough to open my eyes and ears and a security guard came into the dock and told me what was happening.  I was to see the judge at 10am – I asked him if I could get out of there – go outside and wait, so he saw me out, was almost running – escape mode.  Sat outside for an hour before seeing next appearance.

As I walked back in said sorry to Security, started crying, said I would never hurt anybody – they said they knew that.  Were really nice, though I had an escort when I went back to court – how important am I.  I was 2nd up – they know I want to get out of there fast as I can and what sort of disruption I can be.  Judge wouldn’t listen to my argument, got upset which he was concerned about.  When I didn’t like his decision started giving him shit – not enough to get contempt charge or anything.

Was removed from the dock by some ape pom, with a bad attitude – didn’t help things much, started swearing at him so he was threatening to keep me in the cells for 2 hours if I didn’t keep quiet.  Still told him go back to his own country, etc etc – just can’t keep my mouth shut some times.  Got out of bail room in about 5 mins, the guard was outside and I stopped looked around – there about 30 whipped looking people standing around waiting.  So I walked away from the guard and started singing full voice – Why Am I Arrested For Being Disabled.  Was awesome, so empowering, filled the whole room – keep singing all the way down the escalator and outside.

Once I started up poor security guard has to get me out of there, so I follow him but slowly, don’t like being manhandled and they won’t if you follow them.  Heard a call come through on his radio about getting me out of there – you would have been able to hear it from the courts – they don’t like to be disturbed by a rebellious citizen – might inspire others to rebel.

So left and went for a cuppa and morning tea with friend who had turned up.  There planned the final details for my Swastika and guerrilla poetry mission to The NZ Initiative, IPCA and Ministry of Justice.

First stop Wellington library to get organised, write up the poems put blue tak on Swastika paintings etc, so all ready for when I get to my target I can get it up quickly.  Then off to Bayleys building and NZ Initiative (business round table), photos on my facebook page and video of the poem I did on my youtube channel.

Left there regrouped and got out next painting, then headed off to IPCA only couple of streets away.  Got up there, nobody around put up my painting and did the poem then left – cause I’m trespassed from there – so I am expecting police to call in if they complain.

Finished there, it was raining, so headed for Bus terminal got out a rain poncho I carry and changed into that, heading off the back way to Justice House in Aitken Street where ACC and Ministry of Justice are.  Put up the painting, recited a poem and left.  Headed down Molesworth Street, past Appeal Court, Backbenchers and High Court, did a loop inside the courtyard of the High Court – I know they hate that.  Waved at security, did a little dance too I think – didn’t give them the finger even though I wanted to.  The guys watching the screens aren’t necessarily the ones I’m pissed off with.

Then went back to the bus terminal and court bus up to Victoria Uni Kelburn, stay out of the way while police might be looking for me.  The ESRA (left wing think tank) launch, was awesome, there had also been 3 days of workshops etc  Got there and had something to eat and a cuppa, talked to some really interesting people, good brain food.  Told a few what I had been up to, walking the talk.

Should offer them a talk on being a lone Civil Society Actor, how to deal with police etc.  Trespass Law and Bill of Rights.

Had to wait around until late train at 10.30pm, just people watched and McDonalds and the train station for 1 1/2 hrs.  Was good talk with a few exceptions, but gotta remember they all middle class people, mostly passive aggressives as well, who all idealistic and don’t like what I do.  Knew several people, was good, my reputation preceeds me with those who know my work.

Had been taking photos and uploading things to facebook all day.

All day today I’ve been smiling every time I think of what I did – challenging the system, pushing their boundaries – taking some power back.  Although the melt-down at court was not good, I recovered pretty quickly once I got into the mission.  The thought of the faces of the people who found the posters and poetry kept me smiling and imagining what they were thinking of.


First draft, unfinished report on Ceilia Lashlie Day Feb 2016

Felt the need to post this first draft, even unfinished, show people where I am going and what I am doing.  Kia kaha to us all.

REPORT BY JR, following Celia Lashlie Day, Victoria University, Wellington 25 February 2016


 I knew attending this event was going to be a challenge and it was much harder than I expected as my stress disorder kicked in with what I was hearing.  14 years going to events like this, surrounded by well-meaning people within the system, saying the same things while the government creates a toxic environment that makes matters worse – I’ve had enough. Hopeful this report will be the catalyst needed to bring professional health and rehabilitation processes to the current VIOLENCE INDUSTRY – along with the much needed resources that are required by law but being illegally withheld.

 My time was spent writing pages of notes during the morning sessions so I will follow those for now.  I am not an academic and my stress disorder is bad so I apologise for any repeats, grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, informal page layouts, etc.

 As part of this report I would refer to my website – particularly my law, solutions and rehabilitation pages – with a business plan based on ACC law and Fence At The Top Of The Cliff rehabilitation model.  Facebook page /jrmurphypoetmusician;  twitter @jrmurphypoetry ; youtube channel  You will note from these social media that like Celia I don’t pull any punches, which gets me offside with many.  I am also living this nightmare, have a life-threatening stress disorder, have studied stress disorders extensively, understand Occupational Therapy concepts of professional rehabilitation, am spirituality aware; along with knowing ACC, disability, health, criminal, human rights and bill of rights laws.  And my experience at the hands of the current abusive, unprofessional, irresponsible, criminally negligent agencies is also invaluable.

 NO MORE – I am putting up with this experimental way we are dealing with traumatised people NO MORE – people are entitled to professional health care using professional health models – that is currently not happening which is a breach of Human Rights and Bill of Rights in the area of experimentation. (Please refer to the story by Gabrielle Quirk, why did it take a police officer to do this, where are our health professionals?) There have also been several other breaches of law which I will outline later in this report

 Under United Nations definitions I am considered a Civil Society Actor in this field and as such supposed to be treated with impunity, this is not happening after almost 20 police visits to my home in Dec/Jan/Feb.   Mostly welfare visits, because I was phoning people in health, justice or political areas who I knew were responsible for what was happening to me (or more correctly what was not happening) and telling them I wished I was dead because I couldn’t get care and bear to live in poverty, unwell and unemployed any longer.

 My neighbours have stopped talking to me and I have started having nightmares about police coming to get me after a couple of the officers decided to be vindictive because of all the calls.  I am currently in court for misuse of a telephone, for phoning ACC screaming at them if they didn’t reinstate my care, as required by two reviews, or help me and other abuse victims that God was going to reign down fire and brimstone on them.  I have also developed a tourettes type disorder after waiting 7 years to have my ACC care (12 hours and 5 people in a multidisciplinary team) reinstated from 2009 – so I swear when I am upset and threatened.

 Recently it was stated by media that John Tully had been begging and screaming for help before he had a psychotic episode and killed those two WINZ workers.  Just yesterday a Christchurch journalist reported how domestic violence doubled after Valentine’s Day earthquake.  It is a fact and those in power know that prolonged stress causes some people to become violent towards those around them.  The solutions and ‘health care’ I propose would almost eliminate this dysfunctional reaction.  The solutions I propose would not only help people currently harming and being harmed it would empower and educate people on how to stop others from this reaction – how to help them.  This knowledge is so powerful and works so well it would spread throughout our communities like the ‘wildfire’ – people everywhere are so desperate for solutions to violence.

 Ceilia Lashlie Day

 My mission is outlined in my business plan for Mental Injury Services and on my social media sights.  I take Ceilia’s work one step further, that is my soul’s objective – action not words.  My mission is not to work with vulnerable people directly (other than those currently around me) but to make changes in government and with those who have the power and money to change these violent dysfunctional ‘health’ outcomes – eg health, welfare, social, justice agencies and news media.

 Several of the agencies represented at the day were ones who have censored what I have been saying about ACC and professional rehabilitation for many years.  I am blocked from their social media and often discredited and insulted for what I know, the situation I am in and challenging their abusive systems.  Note: there are a small minority that have successful programmes but because of the appauling state of housing, inequality and unemployment now it makes even more dysfunctional people, hence the increases in violence.


The magic in every child: I completely agree, ACC purpose and entitlements believe in this too for abused children, but do not deliver.

 Honesty and CredibilityNot happening, I have been listening to the same rhetoric for 14 years and the same solutions that successive governments refuse to fund – when they are legally obliged to.

 Moral Courage: I didn’t see any moral courage in that room, when I challenged Dr Liz Gordon to go to the police and make complaints under 150A 151 & 157 of the Crimes Act she refused saying it would be too embarrassing.  She told me nothing could be done to make ACC follow the law and Human Rights laws weren’t enforceable in the case of discrimination against mentally injured and mentally ill people.  I am sure any other speaker or academic I would have spoken to on that day would have said the same things, she is just an indictment of how abusive and degrading the ‘violence industry systems’ have become.

 Social Well-being and Awareness: I am not finding this at all, the connections are inciting discrimination, bigotry, fear and ignorant misinformation.  Not the 21st century professional treatment care rehabilitation and justice that is supposed to be happening.  Leaders are making decisions and manipulating people rather than well educated health and welfare providers (I consider only 20% of them to be sufficiently qualified and trained to the level of understanding I have).  Our communities are not working together, mostly due to inequality and the stress of poverty, poor housing, misguided marketing/social engineering, etc.  This is the elephant in the room when it comes to addressing violence and our politicians particularly are in denial at the damage neo-liberal economic policies are having on our society – on our culture.

 Social Justice/Responsibility: The leaders of our communities hold the power to solve these problems – THE COMMUNITY ARE CURRENTLY THE VICTIMS OF ABUSES OF THIS POWER – victims of radicalised economic policies that are terrorising the poorest and middle classes, while advancing the wealthy.


I am a spiritual person but have become hostile and object to any prayers/karakia being said at anything to do with the ‘violence industry’.  Things have only got worse since these prayers began to be more widely used – you wouldn’t say them before a medical procedure or major operation and they are inappropriate in this context as well  (when ‘violent behaviour’ is approached from a health perspective as I do it).

 I apologise now if I cause offence, however people will have to accept what I am saying if ANY SERIOUS ACTION to stop the ‘violence industry’ is going to happen.

 Ceilia talked about the work she did directly with people and she did a great job, which is why she was loved by so many.  But we cannot leave this sort of care to chance, especially when through ACC law and professional health models (like Occupational Therapy) this care should be provided as of right, consistently and with well trained multi-disciplinary teams of health and welfare professionals.  Not multi-agency but multi-disciplinary teams, the haphazard unprofessional way we currently operate ends up with huge disparities in services throughout the country.  Many people instinctively know how to heal people and what they need, that is why my Mental Injury Services and Rehabilitation Model will fit with so many people reading this report.

 I was concerned with the implication that many abuse victims/violent people were doing some life-journey work and had to go through this themselves.  From my extensive study I believe it is not the severity of trauma a person experiences that causes them to become dysfunctional but the care they receive (or is omitted) after trauma.  We cannot change what happens to someone, we can provide a nurturing and safe environment after something happens.  When someone has been in a car accident we care for them, sew them back together, feed them, house them and allow THEIR OWN BODIES to repair – we need to apply this principle to mental injury.

 I read many news items etc on the violence industry and many commentators saying the issue is complicated and nobody really knows what to do.  THIS IS NOT TRUE, from my research we know what to do, we just choose not to do it, especially in regard to professional mental health care for abuse/trauma victims.  Mental Injury Services and Top Of the Cliff Fence are what ACC and others choose not to do.

 I was involved in the 10th Biannual Conference on Child Abuse around 2006 – that’s now 30 years of these gatherings, at a cost of how much?  Things are now worse, not better – they were arguing then about appauling lack of professional mental health services and adequate professional support.  Since then there have been more cuts, more inequality, more housing issues and more degrading welfare policies introduced – more severe stress and hence more violence (particularly sexual violence which I believe is 80% related to neglect not power).

 I was disturbed to see Duncan Garner involved in this group and the book launch.  He is someone I have been trying to get help from for years and been publicly abused degraded and discredited for it.  The way I approach violence is extremely challenging for people who are ignorant – if people had the extensive knowledge I did they wouldn’t act that way.  However society has become conditioned against violence due to extensive marketing campaigns like White Ribbon and Its Not OK (who have both censored my voice on social media).  Campaigns that put blame on those affected, rather than those who created this dysfunctional environment where 20% of the population suffer.

 CES’s Soul Work – Empowering Women

 I was disturbed by something that Ceilia said about not apologising for being middle class and educated.  Looking around the room the majority of people were like her – middle class and educated – many had been involved in the violence industry for many years.  All had seen violence statistics get worse and our societies mental health deteriorate – I don’t recall seeing anywhere how any of these people had taken to hunger strike in their cars outside Parliament in protest at the suffering and medical neglect they were witnessing (which of course they havn’t considered as I have.)

 It is one of the protest actions I imagine with cars lined up around Parliament, in them people on hunger strike against the appauling state of mental health services, particularly for abuse victims.  To imagine those cars full of people from this event taking a stand makes me cry as I am writing.  I imagine the daily speeches and workshops organised on the steps of parliament and beneath the Seddon statue, the local and international media lined up to speak to each of you about why you were there and what you knew.  I imagine the government and politicians being humiliated and disempowered by such a powerful direct action by academics, police, public servants and community leaders in the anti-violence industry.  I imagine this action – which would take no longer than a week to be successful – would not only change New Zealand’s response to violence and social issues but would also lead the world in this.  It would lead the world of academics and community leaders who deeply desire change but feel powerless in the face of dysfunctional ‘systems’ politicians and more to ACT.  I imagine disempowered abuse victims, those working in the violence industry and those begging for help coming from all over New Zealand to support this action, until thousands were gathered, all demanding WHAT IS RIGHT and ACTION.  Ahhhh I have a dream.

 Middle class educated people should apologise for who they are and that they are not doing EVERYTHING within their power to change what is going on in the world for traumatised people.  I am repeatedly arrested for my legal protests, repeatedly made to recount my trauma and have my traumatic stress disorder compounded by systems and people supposed to protect me both as a disabled vulnerable person and as an activist and Civil Society Actor (please refer to UN and google for definition).  I am poor with few academic qualifications, I am a frightened persecuted peasant of the lowest order – at the same time as I am well educated and empowered with truth and courage as my defences.

 In my solutions I am not asking that laws be changed and new science be adopted – although some may need to be (under urgency I would hope) – I am asking for laws and science to be adhered to.  For people with power to do what they say and people to be protected and cared for as they are supposed to be under ACC, health, disability, criminal, imperial, human rights and bill of rights laws. 

To get through this report I need to dream for a while and imagine how everything would happen if I could make this happen.  Firstly a plan of action which would include extensive training of those within the violence industry – some of whom would need to be removed due to personality disorders that would undermine and sabotage the new approach.  ACC would be at the forefront of rehabilitation for mentally injured abuse victims, they have the resources and infrastructure to do this.  Public mental health would work in conjunction with them to cover people mentally injured by other traumas, such as those in Christchurch after the earthquakes and those that witnessed violence but did not have it perpetrated against them.  They would also work in with mentally ill people and the challenges they pose.

 Media would be briefed and given extensive information to report, the community would be given hope and shown a plan that was real and had the backing of academics, community leaders, those who were experiencing violence and those who were perpetrating it.  The community would be educated about the part they would need to play in this, from one of hatred and fear to one of love and understanding.  I am reminded of the words in our National Anthem and my desire to be able to sing that song and mean/feel every word.

 I imagine six week ‘retreats’ being started all over New Zealand, every region to have these, so people are healed in their own community.  I imagine thousands of construction workers being moved off commercial projects on to building housing, in every community for every person who needed a safe home to live in.  I imagine these homes to be appropriate to the people who need them and designed in such a way to meet their needs both physically and socially.  They would also be as environmentally friendly as possible.

 I imagine asking not only government to provide money and resources but all charities within New Zealand to be focused on providing our most disadvantaged and unwell citizens their basic needs first and foremost – not sport, art or business – that would come later.

 I imagine a programme of free education for people wanting to work in this new era of health care for mentally injured and ill people.  Particularly the training of hundreds of Occupational Therapists, who I consider the most vital link in this rehabilitation process.

I imagine ACC buying properties throughout New Zealand to run these retreats as an investment in our own people rather than any other countries.  We must heal ourselves first before we can help others.  I imagine these places in the bush and beside the sea, around those places wealthy people already use to calm and care for themselves, such as Taupo. 

 Then I imagine the news headlines, the crime and violence statistics being slashed, the world recognition for our commitment to caring for people and the example we can set for other countries.  We are a small country it is easier for us because of our size to implement this.  Once it was successful then we could export those we have trained and healed to other parts of the world to facilitate change and peace in their countries.

 It makes you feel a little better when you can focus on your goal, especially one so grand and valuable to society.

 Now it is time to have a break my eyes are sore and go get some fresh air, be back soon, I am not stopping until this is finished today – you hear me Jayne, today 🙂


Why doesn’t New Zealand Parliament reflect our culture of kindness & charity

Was talking with a friend tonight about how, kind, charitable and friendly most New Zealanders are.  She’s originally from England, came here when she was 16.  She was talking about the Harvest Festival she went to on the weekend and how a friend of hers was chatting away to some people she thought he knew.  When he came to talk to her and she asked who they were he said he didn’t know them, that they were travelling New Zealand and decided to come to the festival as they had seen it on a poster – he had asked them to come and join their table for the rest of the day.  Sarah said if that was England there is no way anybody would do that, everybody stuck to themselves.

I recounted a story by a Chinese man I met protesting last year who was an English teacher and travelled a lot around the world.  He told me also that out of all the countries he had been to New Zealanders were the most friendly, anybody would talk to you on the street, give you directions, the time or help with almost anything you asked.  Even the way I had talked to him openly when I was sitting under Seddon outside Parliament, singing reciting poetry etc and had started the conversation while he was watching me.  He told me that would never ever happen in China, if a stranger approached you on the street, for any innocent reason, the person would be frightened not respond and even run away.  They would think the person was going to rob or harm them.  We talked for about half an hour, we connected, felt similar about the way the world was headed and the way it should be headed and when he left we hugged goodbye.

I asked him lots of questions about what China was really like, very interesting and very scary the control the government have over there – good to hear there were now lawless cities in China the government couldn’t even go into – hotbeds of rebellion.

There was also a report last year saying we were the 3rd most generous country in the world.

With all this information about our culture WHY IS OUR GOVERNMENT and PARLIAMENT mean, uncharitable, miserly, elitist, threatening, abusive, degrading, insulting and unkind to some of the most vulnerable and deserving people here?  Aren’t our members of Parliament supposed to represent ‘the people’, be a reflection of who we are and our culture?

Even our National Anthem talks about bonds of love and protecting us from dissension envy and hate.  All those things neo-liberalism and cruel capitalism (being different to capitalism that isn’t cruel and doesn’t violate human rights etc) have inflicted on us over the past 30 years.

Why are we doing this, why are we allowing this, is our parliament being run by another country with a different culture? Is our country being run by cruel rich globalists and gambling addicts with psychopathic tendencies obsessed with money and power at all costs?

I know if we keep down this neo-liberal path we will lose the special connection we have with each other in New Zealand, we will lose that part of our cultural identity most of us have that sets us apart from the rest of the world.

At what point are they going to wake up and realise what they have created and allowed is very bad and does not reflect who we are, it does not follow our most precious constitutional laws or criminal law, nor the promises made in our National Anthem.  At what point are the people who vote for this meanness and unkindness going to demand change?

Kia kaha and Aroha to us all.