Author Archives: jrmurphypoet

Trust House Terrorists – Heart of the Darklands

This poem that could see me / homeless in the street
For standing up to neo-liberals / crushing poor beneath their feet

They wrap themselves in charity / to cover what they do
Take from the poor, give to the rich / persecute us, not you

Rich and powerful love to build / monuments to their greed
Extravagant sports and arts supporters / and crumbs for those in need

When there’s a housing crisis / they buy a pub or two
Give more to corporate welfare / help fund a giant screw

A hockey turf, a rugby ground / a running track and more
Build a home for businesses / while people knock at their door

Trust House terrorists surround themselves / with the luxuries of life
They’ve never lived for years on end / under the neo-liberal knife

My heart bleeds for the things I see / that nobody will admit
Those that say we should trust / leaders who are not fit

You’ve been radicalised, you’re ignorant / propaganda tells you what to think
While after 30 yrs of this hell / those suffering are on the brink

Disabled poor and abused / cry themselves to sleep
Hoping they will die soon / knowing God their soul will keep

There is no hope in this tragic place / no safety net, not here
Death Valley, Wairarapa / heart of the darklands and of fear

enD

We Are – Carterton, Wairarapa

We’re sick and can’t see a doctor
We’re sad and no help they send
We’re suicidal and wish we were dead
Cause this nightmare never ends

We’re refugees in our own country
We’re drugged when we can’t cope
We’re abused for being traumatised
Neo-liberals leave poor no hope

We’re marginalised and terrorised
We’re blamed for social ills
We’re persecuted and prosecuted
As the morgue and prison fills

enD

 

Request Christopher Finlayson to allow prosecution for torture by ACC

 


From: JR
Sent: Wednesday, 8 March 2017 9:34 p.m.
To: c.finlayson@parliament.govt.nz
Subject: Request of Attorney-General to allow prosecution under Crimes of Torture Act 1988

Dear Mr Finlayson,

I have been advised in order to take a case of torture against ACC I am forced to get your agreement under law.

This is a formal request to allow me to take a private prosecution against ACC on the basis they have tortured me for the past 15 years by refusing to provide the PROFESSIONAL treatment care and rehabilitation I am entitled to under the IPRCA.  That in 2009 after 7 1/2 years of requesting these services I did begin to get a professional multi-disciplinary rehabilitation team of people and professional plan that was supposed to last 2 1/2 years but was illegally stopped after six months against the advice of all medical professionals and others involved in my care.

That although I have won two ACC reviews to have this care reinstated, ACC continue to tell me at regular intervals care is going to be reinstated then refuse to do it, which is extreme torture and makes me highly suicidal and unwell.  They also refuse to accept they have significantly harmed me as a consequence of their actions.  They violate government  disability directives, along with Human Rights and Bill of Rights acts by refusing to accommodate communication and other impairments I have related to my worsening stress disorder which prevents me from accessing any services or receiving other monetary entitlements, even when my disorder is life-threatening.

ACC do not use professional rehabilitation models and are therefore experimenting on me – it is illegal under Human Rights and Bill of Rights to experiment on people and I have complained about this multiple times.  I have been unable to get a civil legal aid lawyer in New Zealand, according to multiple lawyers there is nobody that does this type of law now – even though I know the Magna Carta ensures I do receive access to right and justice and the government is not allowed to destroy me – which they have.

I am currently under ACC for the sensitive claim, but receive no services, I have received limited and intermittent counselling since 2009 but no professional rehabilitation that resembles reinstatement of the care I had in 2009.   I have attempted multiple times to organise communication options with ACC but they refuse.  Currently they are refusing to allow me access to counsellor Jenny Kirby who I have asked to be a mediator in my case with ACC as I have been told by multiple advocates I need a lawyer and I cannot get a lawyer as I become highly suicidal having to recount my situation over and over again when the majority of lawyers are too busy to represent me.

I have made continual complaints to ACC which are ignored, I have the support of Dr Alan Doris psychiatrist, Jenny Kirby Counsellor, and Occupational Therapist Glenda van der ven Long.  Currently ACC are prosecuting me for Misuse of a Telephone for phoning them screaming for help when I was very unwell, begging them to reinstate my care as they continually say they will but then refuse.

This is extremely urgent and important as I desperately need to heal from my mental injury so I can return to work and be in a safe and stable home, with hope for the future.

​Can you please advise that you have received this email and when you will be responding to it.

Sincerely

JR

***********************************************************

I honestly believe he will ignore my request as I know how deeply corrupt/immoral/uncivilised he is and the extent of his radicalised neo-liberal terrorist beliefs that advance rich, disadvantage middle class and persecute people who cannot work at 100% productivity.

 

Health & Disability Commission – Terrorists of NZs disabled poor

Am currently formally retrieving information from multiple agencies for my upcoming court case, those who have refused to resolve or do anything about government health agencies refusing me professional treatment and rehabilitation or ensuring necessaries of life – ie a safe stable home to live in.

Thought I’d post the email I sent them today – HDC have already tried once to not provide the information by saying I hadn’t explained myself clearly – which I had.  Its one of the techniques they use to stop disabled people from progressing serious complaints – so watch out if you do use HDC, they will do anything they can to stop the process and make you feel stupid.

Sent: Sunday, 5 February 2017 9:53 a.m.
To: Margee Do
Subject: Re: OIA Request

Dear Ms Do,

Due to impairments related to my disorder I cannot go over the years of rejections Health & Disability Commission subjected me to, when I knew my rights, was being persecuted and denied professional health and rehabilitation models/services by multiple agencies.  However can I please have a letter from the Commissioner stating which organisations I complained about on what dates and that NONE of my complaints were ever resolved.

My HDC advocate from Nationwide HDS is sending me everything she did over the past decade to try and get me professional services without success and it will advance my legal case to have Health and Disability Commission confirm they refused to believe any of my valid and serious complaints even when Nationwide were unable to resolve them and was fully supportive of how badly I was being treated – but could do nothing without your backup.

I am also getting complaints I made to Human Right Commission, Tribunal, ACC, Salvation Army, Oasis Network, King Street Artworks, Wairarapa DHB, Ombudsman and Auditor-General that failed to uphold my rights or accept what was happening to me was a criminal violation of my human rights to professional health care.

It makes me unwell when I think those health care agencies supposed to help me persecute me instead and deny me care I am entitled to under law – but it makes me even more unwell when I know how corrupt cruel immoral and criminally negligent those who supposed to protect me from this are.  All those poor disabled abuse victims and mentally ill people in this country you are torturing (as defined by the Torture Suppression Act), who are living in misery, draining or harming those around them who also can’t cope, killing themselves or killing others – that is your fault, you people are murderers, cruel violent murderers.

My latest formal complaint is to the Privacy Commissioner, a second one about a mental health advocacy worker from Oasis.  Who told a woman I have just got to know that she couldn’t help me I was too unwell - I only wanted two things, for her to talk to police and get them to backoff (this was when things were bad and I was having nightmares they were coming to get me), she told me I should stop protesting/exercising my rights if I wanted this.  I also asked her to find and arrange for me to learn Maori weaving and Tukutuku and it ended up with her abusing me saying I was demanding too much of her.  The first complaint I made about her last year for violating my privacy and going to DHB mental health services when she said she wouldn’t and knew how I felt about them – she did and responded to me with an abusive text – was discredited and unresolved by Oasis etc.

You must know how many people like me you are rejecting (cause I hear horror story after horror story about dealings with your agency – everybody I know has given up and stopped making complaints of harm) how can you sleep at night knowing the suffering and death you cause in our society?

Sincerely

JR

Civil Society Actor

HUMAN SEWAGE


From: Margee Do <Margee.Do@hdc.org.nz>
Sent: Monday, 30 January 2017 11:38 a.m.
Subject: Re: OIA Request

Dear Ms Routhan

Thank you for your clarification. We will respond to your request in due course.

Sincerely

Margee Do ‐Legal Team Administrator
Office of the Health and Disability CommissionerPO Box 11934, Wellington 6142Level 11, TechnologyOne House, Wellington 6011
Ph: (04) 494 7900
Email: Margee.Do@hdc.org.nz


PPlease consider the environment before printing this email
This email may be legally privileged. Please do not forward without permission

(HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW HDC ARE TRYING TO USE THE LAW TO STOP PEOPLE MAKING PUBLIC WHAT THEY DO – OUR CORRUPT GOVT MADE THEM DO THAT – THEY WILL NEVER EVER SILENCE ME – AND IF THEY WANT TO TAKE ME TO COURT FOR MAKING THIS PUBLIC – BRING IT ON!)

To:        Margee Do <Margee.Do@hdc.org.nz>
Date:        30/01/2017 10:52 a.m.
Subject:        Re: OIA Request


Dear Ms Do,

Don’t know how I could be clearer on this matter, are you trying to avoid sending it – do you hope, due to my disability, that I won’t pursue this because that is the usual behaviour I get from agencies trying to hide something horrendous they have done to disabled people.

I want every piece of information and every complaint I have sent to your organisation since 2002, since I was raped and discovered ACC and the NZ government were persecuting and discriminating against mentally injured abused men women and children disabled by their abuse – along with every mentally ill person in New Zealand.  Denying them professional care, professional health and rehabilitation models, ensuring they became more unwell so drug companies could make more money and driving many to crime so they filled up the justice system.

One day the world is going to know what you people have done condoning this violent, torture, persecution of NZs most vulnerable people on the order of radicalised neo-liberal terrorists.

Jayne 


From: Margee Do <Margee.Do@hdc.org.nz>
Sent:
Monday, 30 January 2017 8:53 a.m.
To:
 
Subject:
OIA Request

 
Dear Ms Routhan

I am dealing with the request for information you have sent to this office on 9 January 2017, please can you kindly clarify the scope of your request. You have your requested for:


-
      copy of my information
-        all the formal complaints

Did you just want a copy of the complaints you have sent to this Office?

We would appreciate your clarification on this matter on or before 1 Feb 2017.

Many thanks


Margee Do ‐
Legal Team Administrator
Office of the Health and Disability Commissioner

PO Box 11934, Wellington 6142Level 11, TechnologyOne House, Wellington 6011
Ph: (04) 494 7900
Email: Margee.Do@hdc.org.nz


P
Please consider the environment before printing this email
This email may be legally privileged. Please do not forward without permission


From:        
Jayne Routhan <jrouthan@hotmail.co.nz>
To:        
Health & Disability Commission <hdc@hdc.org.nz>
Date:        
19/01/2017 10:18 a.m.
Subject:        
Privacy Act request for a copy of my file


Dear Sir/Madam,

Under the Privacy Act can you please send me a copy of my information and all the formal complaints I have made to the Health and Disability Commission since approximately 2002 – they are required for a criminal case.  Can you please advise if I will receive this information in the next 20 working days as required by law.

Thank you

JR
Civil Society Activist
HUMAN SEWAGE
*************************************************************

The information contained in this document is confidential to the intended recipient and may be legally privileged. You may not copy or disclose this email to anyone without the written permission of the sender. It is not necessarily the view nor an official communication of the Health and Disability Commissioner. If you have received this email in error, please notify the sender immediately and delete this message.

************************************************************* 

NZ Intiative (aka Business Round Table) – Neo-Liberal Terrorists

Havn’t posted for a while but been busy, lots of photos on my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/jrmurphypoetmusician and comments about political issues.

Phoned Jason Krupp from NZ Initiative yesterday morning I was so angry about his research about immigration being good for ALL New Zealanders.  The man is a radicalised neo-liberal, wouldn’t listen to a thing I said about disabled people left in unsafe and unstable homes – many abused women and children.  Said he had the statistics to prove what he was saying – told him I was living this nightmare and so were a lot of people I knew – so his analysis was wrong.

Krupp hung up on me as soon as he could, for a think tank that is supposed to be educated he DID NOT want to hear what I had to say.  I phoned back several times to explain why I thought his organisation were like NAZIs by advocating abuses of human rights for vulnerable minorities.  Chris Hedges book WAges of Rebellion spelled out how NEO-LIBERAL (Libertarian) think tanks were the way rich pigs took over and started persecuting poor and advancing themselves.

I was nice to start with, just wanted him to know what was going on, when he reacted the way he did, I ramped it up a notch too and yes I swore.  Phoned back several times and was finally told I had threatened to kill them – WHICH I DEFINITELY HAD NOT, I’M AN ACTIVIST NOT A TERRORIST – and they were phoning the police.  Like I care, police will be on my side, they know I piss people off and some would love to say the things I do to the stuck up rich wankers and bitches, making their jobs harder and less rewarding (that exclude those arseholes in NZ police just in it for the power trip).

Phoned police and told them what had happened, so they didn’t waste their time looking up phone records and they knew I didn’t threaten violence – cause I never have.  Havn’t heard anything so that be the last of it hopefully.

Just been told their bullshit about Housing was on TV news last night – NZ Initiative being given heaps of coverage – fucking corrupt corporate criminals – fucking media.  Grrrrr  Going to chalk around Wellington about what I think of NZ Initiative and their horrendous ideas that have already caused so much unnecessary suffering and death.  All those people who belong to NZ Initiative are rich and will become richer if there more people in New Zealand – they don’t GAF about disabled and poor not having safe stable homes to live in or exploited workers.  They also want to make money out of the destruction of the most vulnerable in society.

 

 

Open letter to Paula Bennett MP – NZs most violent abuser of disabled poor

The radicalised disturbing deceit and denial coming from people like Paula Bennett,  who has spent the past 8 years passing law after law to oppress, destroy, degrade and persecute 10,000s of this country’s most disabled and vulnerable citizens is frightening.

With everything I have learnt over past 15 years about psychology, basic instinct, history and human behaviour it is apparent to me the leaders of our country (and most of the world) are in the grip of a mass psychosis similar to that which gripped NAZI Germany.  The question is how do I counter this insanity when the very people who are supposed to stop it, ie Human Rights Commission/Tribunal, lawyers, Ministry of Justice, Police etc are standing back pretending its not happening and there is nothing they can do.

Today all I can do is write and tell them what they are doing is immoral and illegal, what they are saying are lies and deluded, that they are killing people and creating unnecessary and generational suffering, discrimination, intolerance, violence, addiction and suicide.  So here was my email response to Paula Bennett – at least I feel some comfort knowing police are not allowed to come to my house any longer and the nightmares have stopped.

Yes, I am telling the truth, yes this is happening in New Zealand.


From: Jayne Routhan <jrouthan@hotmail.co.nz>
Sent: Friday, 9 December 2016 1:52 p.m.
To: paula.bennett@parliament.govt.nz
Subject: Every disabled poor person I know is petrified you will be Deput PM

Dear Ms Bennett,

I’m writing this just to make sure you know what you do to the poorest and most vulnerable 30% of people in this country, mostly disabled, is degrading torture that creates violence, addiction and suicide.  The news reports keep saying you believe yourself to care about New Zealanders – but I live this nightmare you have made much worse in past 8 years, I watch other people living this nightmare which hurts me even more.

Personally when I think of you and just how much you have destroyed my life, while you got everything handed to you on a plate when you were a young mother, I self-harm and become highly suicidal.  The thoughts that come into my head are ones of standing in front of you slitting my wrists and bleeding out - that’s what you want of course, me to commit suicide because I keep telling the truth about how corrupt and criminally negligent the government are after 30 yrs of neo-liberal terrorists (TErrorism Suppression Act definition) running our country into the ground and destroying our Kiwi culture.

You have ignored my pleas for health care and justice I am entitled to under ACC, health, disability, criminal, imperial, human rights and Bill of Rights laws for years – why?  You leave me rotting on welfare, destitute, marginalised and suicidal because you don’t want to provide the health care I am entitled to from ACC – so they have money to invest in business.  ACC is about investing in people who advance our country, I am an intelligent disabled person, I am an expert in stress disorders, constitution laws and many other topics because I live this nightmare and keep myself informed and educated.

I doubt you will get this email because I have realised any emails from people who are telling the truth about those being marginalised and persecuted by the NZ govt and many others are being censored.  I have been in business, the boss is supposed to take the complaints not workers at the bottom.

The idea of you being given more power is an obscenity to me – after what you have done to so many people – I still don’t have a safe house to live in – how could I NAtional sold off all the state houses in Carterton in order to gentrify the town and region.  Only thing that consoles me at the moment is prophecies in the bible that the earths destruction is coming and people like you who advance rich and powerful by persecuting poor and powerless will be removed from the earth.  Then people like myself can get on with creating a peaceful, co-operative, loving society where EVERYBODY has the necessaries of life – like a safe stable home to live in, enough food to eat and respectful human interaction if they choose – those things Abraham Maslow advised in his hierarchy of needs .  Not what you are doing now, to so many, to so many intelligent women, you are truly disturbed.

I could be such an asset to this country, especially in the area of professional rehabilitation for mentally injured abuse and trauma victims.  I could be an asset with my creativity, play writing, poetry and music – but instead you keep me oppressed and traumatised using police, ACC, mental health, NGOs and so many others.  All who tell you they do what the law says and I am a liar – which is not true – what possible reason would I have to lie?  One of the reasons I am suicidal is I don’t work, all I want is to get care I am entitled to and need so I can return to work, so I don’t have to live with suicidal & unsafe people and don’t have to face 40 years of suffering, poverty & homelessness until I am dead.

I don’t understand why you lie about what is happening for people like me?   I do understand why the people I beg for help from do it – mostly because they are paid by government and we all know mental health services are grossly underfunded to the point of criminal negligence and murder.

Sincerely

JR
Civil Society Actor
HUMAN SEWAGE

Day of Activism in Wellington, New Zealand

Had an interesting day chalking poetry, attending question time, singing under Seddon and catching up with other activist friends.

Got to Wellington about 12.30pm started chalking comments about John Key, so can be seen from Bowen House and Beehive.  Photos up on twitter @jrmurphypoetry  Also called Judiciary corrupt over mental health care and bought up how much more money banks are making in interest since John Key became PM.

Then went and chalked two poems directly outside Supreme Court on Lambton Quay, good writing surface on large paving, different to footpath.  Had around 6 people stop and say how good my poetry was and good to see this sort of culture and art on the street.  Going to write to the council again and complain about them taking it off and that I have to pay for parking when in the city.

Met up with two friends and attended question time, we had to wait because gallery pretty full after Key’s resignation – several school groups.  I sat and watched govt first but got really upset watching John Key lie about the good he had done, especially for vulnerable people.  Had to leave the gallery crying, security staff up there are really nice to me, went over to other side of house so I didn’t have to look at his face and the other National MPs lying.  Especially about housing and health services.

Always need to have a debrief after watching question time, it is so infuriating – or have a sing and rant about how pissed off I am by what I just saw.  Also recited some poetry – Wasps In The Beehive.

There was a 1080 protest at parliament, would have participated but you can’t before you go into the house – its a rule, you’re banned for 24 hours.

Afterwards talked with friends, hoping to get my FILL THE GALLERY idea out into the Wellington community, focused on election year, disabled/students etc – representing all those people struggling and not happy with current policies.  Said how they were representative of people all over New Zealand that couldn’t make it to Parliament – lets send our polticians a message in election year that we’re going to be watching them and demand they represent and protect us as they are supposed to in a civil society.

Came home and uploaded photos to twitter – don’t know why I didn’t do a video – will next time.

Kia kaha and Aroha to us all.

Ode To John Key – by New Zealand’s Guerrilla Poet

This is my political comment about Mr Key resigning and what he achieved.

ODE TO JOHN KEY

I want to eat and Vomit
Fill the gaping hole then spew
Created by those nameless people
John Key paid to reject you

I want to slit my throat
Watch the blood seep from within
Put a gun in my mouth
Shoot myself in front of them

Walk in front of a city bus
Feel the impact of the steel
End this life, this hell on earth
Be driven over by the wheels

Because they are cruel and heartless
For you they do not care
They just smile or show no emotion
Then quickly get you out of there

They threaten you the police will come
Strip your clothes and dignity
Will punish you for seeking justice
Take away your liberty

enD

 

Dear Diary – Sadly New Zealand Children’s Commissioner Judge Beacroft Corrupt

Woke up this morning with something on my mind and felt I needed to write it in another Diary note.

On Friday I did a protest outside SUPERU (once called Families Commission but govt changed name – George Orwell would be impressed with number of times NZ govt does this) which is on same floor as Children’s Commissioner – 7th floor 110 Featherston Street, Wellington.  Check out my youtube channel for video https://www.youtube.com/user/jrmurphypoet

I did expect to have police called as I know they’re scared of me there for telling the truth about how corrupt and abusive ACC, mental health, CYFS, Human Rights Commission, Ombudsman, police, etc are.  Instead I talked with a couple of people at length about how bad the situation is for mentally injured abuse victims and their families – seems they all understand it is ignorant miserly corrupt politicians creating most of this violence – but there is nothing they can do.

While sitting outside the lifts – as nobody has a reception area any longer because the government want these agencies to be away from any public scrutiny or challenge – they sit behind security doors instead I saw many people coming and going, one of them the Children’s Commissioner.

so Mr Beacroft had to stand waiting for the lift, seeing my painting about how badly me and other abuse victims are being treated.  I recognised him from news reports, which I know he was hoping I wouldn’t – his body language said it all.  So I challenged him, calmly and asked why he didn’t protect the boy who killed Arun Kumar and have ACC and mental health prosecuted under Crimes Act?  Why did a 12 year old boy, with a head injury who ACC and mental health failed repeatedly get prosecuted for murder when it was obviously the fault of those two dreadful, criminally negligent agencies?

Beacrofts body hunched over even more and he almost ran into the lift when it arrived, turned to me and repeated 3 times, I haven’t got time, I havn’t got time, I havn’t got time, then hung his head as the doors shut.  I knew then this revolting man, who has been sending disabled mentally injured abused children to prison for years, according to his profile is one of the most corrupt judges in New Zealand.  This of course is why the National Party would have put him in this position.  It makes my heart ache that our government and judiciary are that corrupt and have been for many years – and nobody has stood up to this gross miscarriage of justice.  This corruption is why I get refused the professional treatment care and rehabilitation I am entitled to under law, its why my complaints of harm under Sections 150A 151 155 157 of the Crimes Act against ACC and others gets ignored.  Its why ACC, police etc instead drag me through court repeatedly for screaming for care I am entitled to after winning two ACC reviews and legally protesting in a NON-VIOLENT away about this injustice.

If an intelligent educated 51 year old woman like myself cannot get the treatment care rehabilitation and justice we are entitled to under New Zealand and international law – then no child is going to.  My passionate protests have been motivated by the suffering and injustice abused children, women and men are going through unnecessarily – I wish I could use that feeling to motivate me in other ways – to stop me eating, get me exercising again, get me sorted around home and find just a little joy in the world.

Its extremely sad that people in power, including police, judges, human rights, etc know what I am saying is true about ACC, mental health and the NZ government but they are committed to keeping up this persecution because neo-liberal politicians say they should.  Ignorant bigoted cruel radicalised abusive corrupt men and women who sit in organisations dedicated to protecting disabled and poor – they are the PASSIVE AGGRESSIVES I talk about.  They are experts at being nice about what is happening and blaming everybody but themselves – after all they are just doing their jobs – and if they weren’t doing what our corrupt abusive politicians said then they wouldn’t have jobs.

I despise the NICE people even more than the CRUEL people – the only solace I get at the moment is knowing under international law when this persecution of mentally injured abuse and trauma victims finally gets exposed then all those people involved will be liable to criminal prosecution.  These people who are allowing the government to withhold health care, access to legal representation and necessaries of life – like a safe house to live in are no different to those who sent Disabled Gypsies and Jews off to the gas chambers.  Now we send people off to kill themselves or kill others – there’s money in that for the corrupt rich and powerful – money in that for judges, lawyers, security firms, justice agencies, welfare agencies, mental health workers, etc.  The similarities between what happened with the NAZIs persecuting minorities and what’s happening with NEO-LIBERALS persecuting minorities are glaringly obvious to me who is LIVING THIS NIGHTMARE.

It makes it worse of course when you live in a street, town, region, country where most people are doing relatively OK.  Where we get bombarded over and over every day what a paradise we live in and how great it is compared with other countries.  Every day on all forms of media its repeated over and over again – so when someone like me comes along and says THE OPPOSITE I am persecuted for it – people refuse to accept it – THE MESSENGER IS SHOT.  Like the group of Wairarapa police officers who feel it is their job to silence, discredit and then abuse me for what I say.

Its the same reason New Zealand media refuse to tell my story or what I know about the truth of just how badly we treat abused children, women and men – how badly we treat families.  The truth that cutting state housing was a terrorist act against mentally injured traumatised people – who were by far the greatest number in state homes.  If you had a traumatic childhood the state helping you by giving you somewhere to live was the least it could do.  It is another deep sadness for me that people who have had good childhoods, been safe and supported, mostly wealthy people – are the ones who are stopping these traumatised people getting homes now.  Worse than that they are getting 30 years of governments to sell off housing so they can buy it – as so much of it is now in desirable housing areas and they don’t think poor disabled people deserve to live in nice areas.

My poem ASIAN BITCH comes to mind, look it up, about my people being greedy and cruel and feeding off the broken – about not learning anything from WWII.  When we violate human rights for minorities (like disabled mentally injured abuse victims and traumatised) we are bringing back the environment that created WWII.  Human Rights laws came out of WWII, some very clever people worked out how Hitler and his NAZIs came to power – things like they stopped FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION by artists like myself – they controlled media.

NZ government created the HPO – Health Promotion Agency to brainwash New Zealanders with propaganda, especially around violence.  They try and make violence NOT ACCEPTABLE when it is the government who pays them that creates most of the stress, discrimination and environment that causes this violence.

I studied to become a lawyer because I believed in the law – now I really understand that the judiciary were willing participants in putting 10,000s of disabled mentally injured abuse victims & traumatised people in prison – knowing they were not receiving the health care they were entitled to under multiple NZ laws – my entire world has been shattered.  Had an excellent discussion when being processed at Wellington Central police station one time with a security guard who was ex-prison officer in 1980s, said prisons filled up when mental health facilities were emptied.  That is blatant discrimination and persecution of disabled mentally injured and mentally ill people – same people who have had housing issues for decades that our media and politicians ignored, until similar housing issues started happening for middle class.

Been feeling – weird/different for a few weeks – trying to accept this gross miscarriage of justice and corruption in my own country, that majority of citizens and rest of world thinks is paradise. :-(

Dear Diary – I’m living in Heart of the Darklands Twilight Zone – New Zealand

I’m not sure what dissociation means – I’ve read about it with regard to mentally injured abuse victims but didn’t fully understand it – I think I’m starting to.  Everything is like walking around in a movie, like nothing is real, nothing interests me, I know in my heart everything I try to do will fail – as it always fails.  Yet everywhere I look there are media and people saying how we live in Paradise and today Theresa Gattung (used to be CEO of Telecom on $millions) was saying how easy it is to be a successful woman in New Zealand.

Perhaps its the pre-Christmas thing, everybody happy or pretending to be happy, when most are stressing out, drinking more, eating more, spending more, to try and feel happy – but mostly people are more angry, frustrated and despondent.

Today the Police Complaints Authority person who handling my current assault case phoned me after a distraught email begging to get this shit with group of police HATERS in Wairarapa sorted.  She was really nice – I hate it when people nice, it makes me cry.  My friend K said the same thing today – she’s just been told she has to leave her house and is freaking out, along with all the other shit she is going through.  I saw her outside a local café, drinking water, she was on the verge of tears.  Poor K I can’t help her either, I’ve now got so many issues with moving, HER BEING FORCED TO MOVE freaked me out as it brings up all the traumatic moves I have been forced to make since I was raped in 2002.

Anyway the IPCA woman was really nice and yes I became really upset, kept saying I didn’t want the officer/s to get into trouble I just wanted to know why they said those revolting things to me and why they thought victimising me for being unwell, not getting care I am entitled to and fighting through my protesting was OK – WHEN IT DEFINITELY IS NOT!  I HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT WITHOUT POLICE GIVING ME SHIT!

I had sent a couple of emails to Inspector Howard but she sent a shitty email saying it was up to the IPCA.  Bloody hell, I don’t want the police assault bought up at the trial for 7 charges of screaming at ACC to have my care reinstated and protesting because I couldn’t get a lawyer to make them – and have tried EVERY complaints process there is in this shit hole – none of them work.

The idea of brining up an assault at a Bill of Rights trial makes me feel like I’m back on trial for rape – and we all know how that turned out, rapist was found not guilty even when he admitted it.  I kept telling her I needed this stress with police off my plate as it was making my disability/stress disorder much worse.  I wanted this matter dealt with before the trial so I didn’t have to face the officer – I picture it in my head the state I will be in and it will not be pretty.  One of those situations where I will have to self-harm to cope, oh how my mental health has deteriorated due to the unprofessional, often abusive care I have been subjected to by ACC, mental health, NGOs and police.

I know I’m waffling – I’m tired but I can’t sleep, needed to get this shit out – my heart hurts.  I still can’t believe I am being subjected to all of this just for wanting and needing the professional treatment care and rehabilitation ACC law says I am entitled to.  Also health, disability, criminal, imperial, human rights and bill of rights say I am entitled to.  So many people in New Zealand don’t even know what they should be getting and our corrupt government have manipulated the situation and dumped mental health care onto WELFARE agencies – WTF?  There is something very corrupt going on and it relates to getting abuse victims professional health care they entitled to – but the government and particularly ACC do not want to pay.

I don’t understand though because care of abuse victims that are children or on welfare doesn’t come from levies, it comes from the Consolidated Fund.  Of course those sicko money men doing $billions worth of investments want to make sure they have lots of money to play with – they don’t care where it came from.

I’ve also been sickened by an #attitude award ceremony I saw was on this week, which was marketed over social media as being about how great disabled people were.  WTF.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,