Begging for Care, Mike King is right, its all bullshit when comes to suicide

My lawyer asked for this as evidence in my upcoming court case for misuse of telephone for begging for help and legally protesting – its more proof what Mike King is saying is true and that our government are corrupt and not doing what any of their mental health documents promise.  People at the top say one thing, people at the cliff face do exactly the opposite!

Restoration of  Care – JR

 Any services I receive must follow professional treatment and rehabilitation models which are based on the Whare Tapa Wha and Te Whariki cultural models.  Along with the Fence At The Top Of The Cliff rehabilitation model (Appendix A).

 The refusal to follow these models in my case is the cause of my most severe dysfunctional behaviours and why I have been unable to work or participate in my community as I did before my mental injury.

 My other requirement of any treatment or rehabilitation is they be ‘medication free’, which I have said for the past 15 years.  This is a fundamental religious and ethical belief of mine and I will not compromise on it, nor do I have to according to human rights law.  My rehabilitation plan in 2009 was based on this and I had the full support of Dr Doris. 

 My top priority is to get my own psychiatrist, in 15 years I have never had any long term access to one – considering how many police welfare visits I have had, and visits from the CATT team – along with how suicidal I have been at multiple times I should have.  Complex PTSD is what I have (not what Dr Doris has said) it is a very dangerous disorder and the majority of people do commit suicide according to American reports I have read.  (I am on social media doing research regularly and keep myself well informed in the area of treatment for PTSD.)

 I thought Dr Doris was my psychiatrist after care was given to me in 2009, but when I tried to see him 5 months into my rehabilitation to discuss residential care for six weeks as PART of my rehabilitation I wasn’t allowed to.  Apparently he had only been employed to do a one off report.  He was not consulted when ACC withdrew all my care – saying my mental health issues were a consequence of a personality disorder and not a disorder as a result of the rape.  This was overturned following two ACC reviews in 2010/2011– but still ACC refuse to reinstate my care and its 2017.

 Dr Doris was not consulted when ACC withdrew my care and none of my health professionals or others in the community I worked with agreed with what they were doing.  My Occupational Therapist Glenda van der ven Long even phoned the Minister of Health about the situation – knowing how suicidal and dysfunctional I would be as a result of the sudden and complete withdrawal of such an extensive multi-disciplinary rehabilitation team.

 When I met Dr Doris again at another assessment in Wellington ACC demanded I do after winning the first review, he said he thought he was my psychiatrist and wondered why he had not heard what was going on.  I was very distraught when he told me this because I had also thought the same and had tried to contact him but ACC wouldn’t let me.

 In ANY treatment or rehabilitation model – with a person who has a life-threatening condition – there would be a specialist – why have I never had one of those?  Other assessments have either lead to rejection and misdiagnosis, ie DHB mental health services psychiatrist and nurses.  Or been done for the court to establish my ability to understand proceedings during a criminal case (of me protesting) – an insult.

 I will only accept a psychiatrist recommended by Dr Alan Doris (who now works in Australia) or Dr Mason Drury as these men follow the cultural health models I have referred to above.  While studying rehabilitation and health at Massey University several years ago I came across Dr Drury’s work (I didn’t finish my studies as I became very unwell due to my disorder – something I intend to rectify as part of my rehabilitation).

 The Te Whariki model I studied when doing education papers as a Playcentre mother.  I completely identified with its principles and could see how these would easily adapt to all areas of education, including tertiary.  Under the Principles of ACC legislation the objective is to return the person as close as possible to their pre-injury state – in 15 years ACC have never adhered to this basic principle of the law.  I have tried on many occasions – they have not been supported and my file will show my repeated requests for education support to return to university.

 There is much more to my education story that I will not go into here, it upsets me too much.  I love university, love being there, learning, sharing, love being around intelligent people.

 I want to see Jenny Kirby Counsellor and arrange for her to go with me to the new psychiatrist – as I trust her (trust is extremely important in any relationship I have). 

 Due to the way ACC cut my care in 2009 I want a legal agreement signed that they will NOT withdraw any of my care without the agreement of my psychiatrist and Occupational Therapist.  I cannot participate fully in the rehabilitation process if I believe they are going to illegally withdraw care at any time as they did before – that was cruel and was like being thrown out of a six story building, causing me considerable harm, distress, suicidal ideology, police contact and so much suffering and dysfunction (when I still had my kids at home).

 Once these three things happen I am extremely concerned for my welfare as I don’t know how my psychy is going to respond to getting care I have so desperately needed and begged for for so long.  Contingency plans need to be sorted during our first meeting IF I become extremely unwell at this time.  I have been told so many times my care would be reinstated or provided and it has not, it is an extreme trigger for me – anything to do with hope of getting help I need to get back to work and a safe stable home is.

 NEXT PHASE

 Reinstate a suitable local mental health Occupational Therapist as should have been done for years but ACC said there was nobody available – or who would do it.

 From there I need a full medical as I have several physical health issues that have not been dealt with for several years because my mental health had become so severe.  My ability to communicate with doctors and other health providers was significantly impaired – especially if I had lost trust in the person, or had been degraded by them.  Recently I was forced to go for a test at a free clinic in Wellington because my Carterton doctor refused to allow me to see the nurse?  More than three years ago I was told I have to have tests regarding my kidney/bladder issues, when I said I couldn’t go because my mental health was too bad and needed a mental health worker (like what I am supposed to have under ACC) to go with me – as I don’t have any friends of family who can go or understand my disorder – I was ignored by nurse and multiple doctors.  So my kidney issues have got much worse, I am in pain all the time, often have bladder infections, feel sick a lot, told the doctor but she just ignores the fact I can’t go because of my disability.  she has been told by local mental health services that I’m a time-waster and liar and not to listen to anything I say.

 My weight has become another burden and my OT (or mental health worker) supported attendance at a gym would be reinstated (this is community care I had in 2009, which was very important to me & many aspects of my social rehabilitation).  I have been told other people in the community get mental health worker supported gym attendance but not me as an ACC claimant – which I find extremely distressing.  I believe I am now so fat I am getting diabetes, I often feel sick and thirsty all the time, I can’t see doctor about it because of how badly she has treated me in the past.  I would rather die than go to another doctor as it would have to be outside the region and I just can’t afford it.

 I would have a mental health worker for a determined number of hours every week, this person should act as a social worker as well to sort out my living arrangements – which are not condusive to a safe place to heal from my mental injury.  If you don’t feel safe in your home and are in constant fear of being forced to move you cannot rehabilitate.  Provision of safe stable housing for disabled people is also a part of the ACC, welfare, disability and human rights laws.  I have had to move 9 times since I was raped, because of unsafe situations or poverty, 4 x in a 12 month period, it is now an extreme trigger for me and makes me very unwell (eg highly suicidal & bulimic).

 Due to the impacts of my stress disorder there is one thing that happens to you that is a positive – you become highly creative.  Medically what happens is you have far greater blood flow to your right (creative) brain and out of your left.  As I was trespassed from King Street Artworks for doing political art and being upset about being censored I have been unable to get help to realise many of my creative projects.  I am considered a talented poet, I write songs and plays but communication and organisational impairments related to my disorder prevent me from realising my full potential.  It is a cause of great distress that I cannot do this myself but I have tried and failed so many times I cannot do it any longer without considerable distress and becoming highly suicidal when I fail yet again.

 I am also a graffiti artist, painter, sculptor and crafts person.

 Due to all my study over the past 15 years I also consider myself a lay-expert in the area of traumatic stress disorders, related law and human rights.  Being able to work in this area as well would be an important goal in my rehabilitation – no point wasting all that valuable knowledge.  This is important when the government are going to be putting more money into SOCIAL INVESTMENT – which is what my rehabilitation/care is all about.  And my greatest concern is it will mean more people being putting under Mental Health Act and forcibly drugged to keep them quiet, rather than healing them.

 Before I was hurt I was very involved in my community, part of several clubs, eg Toastmasters, holding many positions including President.  This must be a part of my rehabilitation that I can participate in these things again.  I have become more and more reclusive following situations where I have been put in danger, traumatised or discriminated against.

 Until I can get back to work I am never going to be accepted by majority of my community or my family.

 The care I am describing above should have been provided 15 years ago according to ACC law and it would have been able to be much less, but so long without it has damaged me so much more it will take a long time to recover.  This of course is illegal under the Crimes Act, you are not allowed to omit care and the person be harmed because of it.  But maybe when I am well I can address the hell I have been subjected to by those who were supposed to help me.

 

 

 

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