Monthly Archives: March 2015

Don’t Blame Me Blame Them – JR Murphy poet

You resent me because I am hurt
Blame me because I don’t work
With health services refusing to help
Saying they have to keep tightening their belts
Ignoring laws made in the past
Ensuring in the rat race I’ll be last

If I was your daughter, your sister, your wife
I wonder if you’d care if it was their life

Living with a life-threatening disorder
Living on the edge on the border
Pushing down the pain you feel every day
Knowing cruel politicians gave the order

You hate me because I’m still hurt
When the torture wheel just doesn’t work
You blame me for the woes of this place
When it’s those at the top you should face
Why pick on someone with so little
When I’m stuck with no help in the middle

What if I was your daughter, your sister, your wife
What if they said they wanted to take their own life

It’s those dishonourable ones who don’t care
For those abused left to rot on welfare
While their lives are free and fulfill all their needs
They prosper selfishly refusing to share

Why do you blame me?
You should blame them!
I don’t understand?

Never eND

To the people abusing me on my website – I don’t read them

I don’t read them but I keep them, going to show people the abuse you get for fighting for your rights when you have a traumatic stress disorder – but will never put them on my website.

Just had the police here reviewing the abusive posts, will be part of the on-going investigation into my personal information being posted on facebook.   He is particularly looking for links to media and police.

To all those people who support me, love and light always, I will never stop speaking out while I see the unnecessary pain and suffering around me.  These people on the internet are nothing to me and what they think means nothing.  “….do not waste a minute thinking about your enemy’s but stay focused on the great and splendid things you wish to do and that day will one day become reality…”  or something like that – Dale Carnegie.

 

 

Email and open letter to ACC – returning to Victoria University

Email to ACC Complaints

I’ve started back at University – what I was doing before I was raped 13 years ago – I can’t do law because my memory is to affected by my disorder and the years of degradation neglect and abuse I have suffered at the hands of ACC.

I love it, only doing two papers, economics and databases – I want to be an ICT business and systems analyst, like Stephen Joyce suggested on the app.

It has been a huge challenge, overcoming panic attacks and other things but every time I go to a class I get more and more excited.  Learning economics, even when I don’t agree with what they are teaching is amazing and information systems business analysis has got the whole left side of my brain tingling.  Because people under constant stress, with traumatised brains have high blood flow to the right brain (creative side) using my left brain is going to be good for me I know it.

University learning support have been great, where disability services and my economics lecturers have been degrading and discouraging.  It is just amazing to be learning again and participating in society – I’m getting used to all the people, great to have the chill out room for disabled students, have had to use it a few times to lay down and relax before I ended up cutting myself.

Sad thing is I can only go for the next 8 weeks, won’t have any money after that – don’t know what I am going to do but praying for a miracle.  Isn’t it sad that ACC have always refused to help me return to school as required under the ACC laws, isn’t sad Paula Bennett and the National government stopped Training Incentive Allowance or I would be able to do it.  Isn’t it sad ACC choose to not reinstate my care or provide me the services and support I need to access professional treatment care and rehabilitation.

Isn’t it sad I will fail through no fault of my own.

Did you see my chalking outside your building yesterday, did they tell you I was really angry after what has been happening with my appauling mental health and being bullied repeatedly by police.

At the moment I am able to mostly hold it together on the days I’m at Uni but on other days not – that’s how mental health works.  You can keep your pain dysfunction and suffering pushed down for a while but it bubbles up again – usually in a more toxic and violent way – of course this is what you disgusting immoral ignorant corrupt bigots want isn’t it – more chance the police will arrest me and I will be locked up.  You must be also hoping I will kill myself soon, I’m sure you’re wondering how someone so unwell is still alive with all you’ve tried to drive me to suicide and violence.

Did you see my chalking on the National Library   ACC ARE WORSE THAN RAPISTS.  Or what about my comments about our cruel corrupt neo-liberal NAZI Auditor General on their building.

I tried of course to move back to the city last year but ended up in very dangerous living situations so moved back to the Wairarapa around people and places I knew.  The main reason I won’t be able to continue are the train costs.  You people are truly sick, I do everything I can to heal from my mental injury and you do everything you can to stop me getting the treatment care rehabilitation and justice I am entitled to under ACC, health, disability, human rights and bill of rights laws so I can heal and carry on with my life.

Of course once I fail these courses (I might be able to do the databases one because most of it is online) then I will never get another student loan to study.  Sick sick sick, you people disgust me and I hope you all have something really bad happen to you.  Wonder how many other intelligent abuse victims you are persecuting and illegally denying care to in this hell hole country.  From what I hear from international news agencies I am in contact with there are hundreds of us begging for help outside our own country – which will all know is corrupt.

You must feel pleased with yourselves that you have stopped me from getting the Independence Allowance I am entitled to for the past five years, you know when you took it off me in 2009, when you took everything away illegal and attempted to kill me.  Isn’t it a shame you refuse to pay me compensation I asked for over having my personal information exposed in the Bronwyn Pullar affair.  Isn’t it a shame I can’t get an advocate or a lawyer to protect and represent me like the laws say I should have.  If I had that money I could go to University.
Lets see if I can get a judge to help me, got to get working on those judicial reviews, have been too unwell, but this is worth fighting for.  No judge is going to like what I have to say.

JR
PERSECUTED WHISTLEBLOWER
HUMAN SEWAGE LIVING IN THE DARKLANDS