WTF – still coming to grips with what happened on Christmas Eve, cannot believe in 21st century New Zealand this is how we treat people with mental health issues. This is so wrong, on so many levels, legally and morally, it is an abusive system created by ignorant bigoted people.
I had had the flu for about three days, my sinus were bad, eyes watering, nose like a tap, skin sore to touch, coughing that racked your whole body and HURT, couldn’t hear properly and couldn’t breath properly. I had PMT bad and my mental health after being let down by ACC and police recently was bad as well.
I got upset about EVERYTHING that is going on, as I do, but when I started to cry I couldn’t breath. I couldn’t stop crying and I couldn’t breath as well. Not knowing what to do I phoned Healthline, hopefully they taped the call so I can get a copy of it. I got upset with what was happening and told the woman I wished I was dead and they should send someone to kill me rather than leave me like this. I told her most of what was going on and explained how no woman could cope in such a revolting country. I ended up hanging up during a coughing fit where I almost threw up – there wasn’t anything she could do – it was 8.30pm on Christmas Eve. Apparently there was something she could do – even though I told her not to phone the police because I was never going to kill myself – she phoned them and they came running.
So while the majority of people in my community and my country were having a great time, relaxing and enjoying the ‘Christmas Spirit’ the police were racing to my house to deal with me asking for help again. I almost threw up when I watched the news Christmas night.
Was on the porch when I saw them running up the drive so I went inside and shut the sliding door, give myself a chance to think. What was going to happen, Christmas Eve I couldn’t get arrested I had my girls coming to stay. I was dressed in a light cotton wrap, t-shirt I had slept in (as I had been sick in bed most of the day), no bra, no shoes, I looked like hell and the house was messy.
I turned around and opened the door, I knew they were never going to leave unless I engaged with them, no matter how bad I felt. So I did – groan – did everything I could to talk them out of taking me anywhere, that yes things were really bad and I did say those things but there was no way my life was in danger – which is the only reason they would have to be there. The discussion became heated and I started swearing, then out of the blue they got one handcuff on me and of course my swearing and abuse increased as it hurt like hell. Apparently I was being arrested for disorderly behaviour – for swearing at these two who were giving me shit outside my own house. There was a struggle but I gave up quickly, no point when you have a man on each side of you, with your arms pinned behind your back and you feel extremely vulnerable and exposed.
I told them I would go quietly, repeated over and over there was no need for the handcuffs EVER, begged them to take them off, both wrists were excruciating and I knew it would be over half and hour before we got to Masterton and I got them off. I also begged them to let me get dressed, get some things together, lock up my house and my dog before they took me away – they refused.
Got read my rights in there somewhere and said yes to a lawyer and demanded to see the Minister from Soulway Church – they refused the minister and I never got to call a lawyer because I was out within two hours – ahh the system grinding my bones to earn their bread. IT WAS CHRISTMAS EVE FOR ‘GOD’S SAKE’ I THINK A MINISTER WOULD CONSIDER IT A PRIORITY WHEN A DESTRAUGHT POOR SINGLE WOMAN AT THE POLICE STATION ASKED TO SEE HIM – DON’T YOU
I have bruises on my arm from the struggle but my wrists are the worse and most of the bruising you cant’ see. Why do police officers always tell you to stop struggling and it will be less painful – THAT IS NOT FUCKING TRUE!
When they arrived they said we’re here to help you – well that will start me off every time because that is the biggest lie out there. They are the police they are there to catch bad people and they don’t know how to handle people like me – so they treat me like bad people. I tried to defend myself, I tried to keep calm but when two men you don’t know are standing there threatening your liberty it was impossible.
One of the officers went back in the house to get me a top, I didn’t want him to because I had dirty underwear lying in my bedroom & bloody sheets on my bed. A man I don’t know seeing that was so humiliating, that is my bedroom my sanctuary. He came out with some pants instead, but that stage I didn’t care and said I would take them with me for now. When he tried to put my seatbelt on I flipped out and started calling him a pervert and to fuck off, ready to kick him – I was reacting to the fact he was about to lean across me and I felt half naked in what I was wearing. Thankfully he didn’t push the issue and at least I wasn’t stuck in a seatbelt.
It wasn’t until after I knew I was arrested and they refused to let me get dressed so I felt decent, that I really started giving them shit. I have a rule about not swearing at policemen and I have never ever said the pig word UNTIL NOW. Boy did they get a bollocking all the way to Masterton, why not, I was in pain – I had phoned Healthline for help and now I was in the back of the police car, still really sick, no shoes, no bra, no jersey for God knows how many hours, with every chance of being committed by the CATT team - WTF – it was surreal – felt like I was in a movie. It was Christmas Eve.
Last year I was arrested and taken to court (peacefully) on my birthday in a week or so, this year I was violently arrested on Christmas Eve – what the fuck is wrong with these people?
I remember being taken away, stopping at an intersection, looking up in time to see a musician I know with a group of his family and friends staring at me in the car – humiliation complete. Do you think the woman who phoned the police realised all this was about to transpire. Do you think any of the people I phone begging for help and justice realise what happens. Do you think my community and New Zealanders realise what actually happens during the mental health process.
………..need a break…………………..
Got to Masterton, tried to get out of the car but my makeshift skirt was falling apart and I was in handcuffs, made me cry. As soon as we were in the door I refused to move until they took the handcuffs off, wish I could have got photos of the ridges in the sides of my wrist. AND WHAT DID I DO WRONG AGAIN?
They demanded I see the CATT team, which I told them I didn’t want to, had to wait for over an hour. So bored, so sick, they got me tissues for my cold and because I was crying at times as well and a cup of water. They wouldn’t give me a pen and paper to draw or write – boredom is horrible – allows all those crap thoughts to invade your mind. Did some singing but I was so full of the flu it was difficult. The echo in that place is shocking – some city idiot obviously designed it.
When I was singing Why Am I Arrested For Being Disabled I imagined coming back at a later time to properly record the echo sound so I could include it on a recording of the song somehow. Ahh dreams are free.
CATT team turned up and it was our mate Andrew Curtis-Cody, the one person who has denied me mental health services for over 10 years and got away with it. I freak out when I’m near CATT team and backed up into the corner of the cell when they arrived. Think there were 3-4 police and CC had a snivelling little man behind him that refused to say anything. I gave him shit, said how he must be enjoying seeing me there where he had power over me and he would never win because there was no way I was going to kill myself when I could stay alive through the hell and give him and the government shit. I said I was going to get him sacked and prosecuted for what he had done to people.
Called him a maggot, fkn arsehole murderer, abuser, etc etc. Police just stood around and watched him smiling and unable to really rebut anything I was saying. The guy behind him was funny, I talked to him directly a few times, asked who he was and what he was doing there, he just looked shit scared. When I was doing it I was thinking of all those people in the Wairarapa who have been hurt and degraded by this psycho and what they would say if they weren’t too scared. Boy it felt good, after how I had been arrested – I think police were standing around enjoying watching him get a bollocking.
Most of the time I was talking with police, they agreed with what I was saying, so WTF was I doing in the police station on Christmas Eve.
The CATT team left, I talked to two women officers for 10 minutes, then I was taken home – WITHOUT HANDCUFFS. Recited Knockn On Heavens door poem to them, they were impressed, knew who Eric and Axle were – which helps. How is a person supposed to reason out what just happened? Violently arrested, then taken home two hours later, being told to have a nice Christmas. I couldn’t tell my friends of family what had happened – I told my facebook family when I got home but the next day when I tried to talk about it I found the stalker had had me suspended.
Text Brad (police in Lower Hutt) who was supposed to be helping me with meeting with ACC, told him what happened – he made an inappropriate joke and hoped things improved. Just wanted to keep him up to date with what actually happens when I don’t get care.
CHRISTMAS EVE – THEY VIOLENTLY ARRESTED ME ON CHRISTMAS EVE WHEN I WAS SICK – WTF